Beak Lions

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Contents

EARLY BULLSHIT OF BEAK LIONS[edit]

This is the first form of the Beak Lion

A beak lion is basically an autistic griffin with no wings and the ones with down syndrome have only two legs and a fucked up body. They somehow fucking evolved over time, I don't fucking understand how the hell they could evolve with all this autism and down syndrome, but whatever. I shall cover all the beak lions faggotry beginnings, or not, FUCK YOU. Anyways, in the year 1623, The griffins and beak lions got into a massive ass war, the griffins lost because they were seen flying, and our dumb Cherokee musket using ass shot those flying beaky bastardization influential abominations to hell.

The Beaky-Bitchy War[edit]

The war listed somewhere in this god damn hell hole...find it yourself. Anyhow, the war of the beaky bitches is when the god damn autistic looking fetus killing dumb-ass looking scaly ass down-syndrome carrying beak lions went to war with the sissy ass flying ass pedophile ass faggot ass griffins. The conflict began from a beak lion walked on a griffins foot. Which led to the griffin beating the ever living god out of his soul and shoving the entire god damn course into that griffins own ass. Any normal person would say or think, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!?!?" but not those silly anal-loving griffins, it soon because recreational activities to have "anal hour" where you shove as many things into another griffins ass, with the use of beak lions. Those beaky bastards had enough of them being used at anal-dildos, so they come together and come with a great idea. Declare war? nope, they didn't do that, but they set the griffins house on fire and eat griffins that couldn't fly. Yeah, no one here is good, they are all just as horny, gay, and rapists like the rest. Yes, rapists, they also force themselves not by sexual contact, but by ramming themselves up the ass of an enemy, and make them explode.

The Battle of Anal-Virginity[edit]

The first and last battle of this beaky bitchy war, is where both sides would ram their beaks into the other anus, and inflict pain and death, BUT ONLY IN THE GOD DAMN FUCKING ANUS. An eye witness named "totally not a jew" has said " They just kept shoving their beaks into each other's ass, i don't know why or what, but holy fuck is it funny." An occasional shit on the face has happened almost every penetration. Most of the deaths were from human fucking beings shooting those damn flying ass beaky ass vomit educing ass Mesothelioma wielding ass all the fucking way into hell, and the beak lions just ran deep into the Forrest, because their ass can't fly.

AFTER THE AUTISTIC BEAKY BITCHY WAR[edit]

this is the 2nd form of the beak lion
He is pissed, because beak lions infected his wife with beakskolionosis because she wore beak lion skin, that fucking dumb itch

After the war that didn't even last a fucking day, the beak lions by fucking mere chance won that damn war, but now the time period we are in, THEY FUCKING EVOLVED PAST AUTISM, but now, the disease the output is their own diseases with unique symptoms, what I mean is it's fucking random and will make you question " WHAT THE FUCK DID THAT BEAKY BASTARD DO?" The beak lions have two diseases. Beakskolionosis is a disease is when you wear anything with beak lion skin, and Beakmilitosius, where you end up consuming a beak lion. Overall, Pumpkins are enraged by the presence of the fucking stupid ass beak lions, which leads to the damn action of pumpkins of biting the fucking beak off of the beak lions, that's why we have normal ass lions now.

Anal Birthing[edit]

After their damn evolution, they made a discovery amongst themselves how they was able to simply fucking breed. I bet you are so confused on how they existed without fucking each other, well let me answer your tennis ball brain of yours. They simply just use a Satanic ritual to summon more beak lions, Satan didn't give a damn what he sent so when he was asked to send multiple fucking Beak lions, he sent over 500 of them, which began a fucking crisis on the earth because Satan wouldn't count how many of these beak bastards he sent on the earth, and within a few weeks, the Earth was riddled with over 50+ million of those beaky boys. So when they discovered birthing, Satan threw a fucking party, but he celebrated way to early, because how they made more beaklions, is beyond the word cancer, abomination, and autism, that it bends logic as we see it and fucks it with the intent to make it explode, but explode with style.

  1. The Beaklion will lay on it's side and spin in a circle for five minutes
  2. Shit on itself
  3. Use that shit to assault everyone within a twenty yard radius
  4. dig its way into hell and theft Satan's Nintendo Switch (because logic)
  5. Another beaklion will arrive and take that switch and orally rape a Platypus
  6. The Platypus will High Velocity Spray the area with Eggs containing beaklions
  7. Pay the platypus $20 for the job
  8. Beat it with a red tailed dear
  9. extract the liver from the dear and the tail from the beaver
  10. Beat the fucking eggs until they hatch, then beat the beaklions

Peanut butter fucking[edit]

Even though the war was over, there was some autistic griffins that wished for more of that anal stretching bullshit. So here we fucking are, informing you on how they used fucking peanut butter to bait beak lions to crawl into their ass. This was very fucking stupid for multiple fucking reasons.

  • While panicking, the beak lions would shit constantly until death, that means the griffins would inflate until combustion
  • Some of the beak lions stole muskets so they just shot them dead
  • they can breathe fire, so they would burn them to fucking death

I swear to fucking god I wonder how they fucking thought peanut butter of all fucking things would lure a beak lion to crawl into an ass. They had to have shoved so many fucking things of peanut butter in their ass so the beak lions wouldn't become curious. Bad for them, another creature's crack WAS peanut butter, so they would crawl into the ass, inflate, and explode.

BEAK LION WARNINGS[edit]

IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BECOME THE DUMBEST IDIOT ON THE FACE OF THIS FUCKING EARTH, LISTEN UP!!

Do not let a god damn beak lion have access to your god damn computer you stupid autistic shit. Reasoning is that they will take their pencil dick and ram that into your USB drive and fuck that shit out of the GOD DAMN HARD-DRIVE

These fucking beak lions are responsible for all the outbreaks in the god damn earth. Ebola, The Black Plaque, Corona Virus, and for fucks sake CAUSED GOD TO FUCKING FLOOD THE EARTH. They thought they had escaped the beak lion, but to their god damn bitchy ass surprise, a beak lion was on the boat, because it went into god damn mother fucking stealth mode, at least until 1600. Everything was absolutely GREAT, until they wittiness a beak lion vomiting uncontrollably into the god damn punch bowl. The two beak lions did the following on the fucking boat

  • Mauled the hippopotamus
  • hid the wombats, THEY NEVER FOUND THEM UNTIL A FUCKING WEEK LATER IN THE FUCKING JANITORS CLOSET WITH A NOTE SAYING "LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL"
  • Cause ducks and beavers to fuck each other, and shove venomous snakes into their ass only on Saturdays, then BIRTHED THE PLATYPUS
  • placed cactus needles on a normal ass hedgehog, then applied a whole can of hairspray
  • Painted a horse black and white, and kept pissing it off by putting reindeer shit into their meal
  • Stole all the god damn fucking hair from Naked Mole Rats and put it all on a fucking tarantula, NO SPIDER SHOULD BE THAT MOTHER FUCKING HAIRY
  • Took a normal a pig, a normal ass fucking pig, AND GAVE IT TUSKS AND PISSED IT OFF SO SEVERELY IT BEGAN TO MAUL EVERYTHING
  • Took the seal, glued a mustache, then began to cram doughnuts down it's throat, the shoved elephant tusks into its mouth, creating the walrus
  • Used a shrink ray on a fucking dog, then FED IT SO MANY FUCKING HOT-DOGS IT BECAME ONE.
  • Gave ants sawdust covered crack, and now e have termites that hunt more of this crack, but instead went into beak lion shit-pissed trees

If you think this beaky bitchy bastard stopped at animal kingdom, holy fucking Jesus Christ on a taco being eaten by god himself, i got news for you, this beaky bombing husky hunky beak lion went to the FUCKING PLANTS! The plants suffering continues as follows.

  • Tumbleweeds, they just stole the fucking roots, NOW THEY ARE GOD DAMN LOST AND CAN'T FIND CANADA FOR FUCKS SAKE
  • Grapefruits, i don't know what the fucking hell they did, BUT I SWEAR TO THE GOD THAT SHOVED JESUS CHRIST INTO AN OVEN AND CALLED HIM A JEW, they had something to do about these mysterious grapefruits, i don't trust them.
  • They committed a ritual to summon poison ivy from the depths of hell, even God himself began to shit his diaper when this was occuring.
  • They crammed a whole bunch of fucking bees inside trees, which soon they oozed out sap because there was so many fucking bees in these god damn trees, FUCK YOU STEALTH MODE BEAK LIONS!
  • They used their own shit to put bark on the trees, they used to be smooth god damn it, BUT NOW THEY ARE RIDDLED WITH BEAK LION SHIT-PISS
  • Because they pissed on the trees now the mushrooms are now FUCKING THE GOD DAMN TREES WITH THEIR STEMMY DICKS
  • Pine trees, they stole the god damn leaves from a fucking tree, and put salamanders inside, now pine trees only have these ERECT ELONGATED BRISTLES FOR ANAL PENETRATION

AUSTRALIAN WARNING: Beak lions have a second form, it can turn into a fucking monster turd that can be launched ONLY at Australia, and will cover the entire continent in literal SHIT. From the Police officer that had to deal with it first hand, he said "We don't appreciate having flying giant ass turds dropped on our continent, so fuck off you beaky bitch."

Going to a previous statement about beak lion diseases, if your dumb dumb mother fucking ass decides to find a way to wear beak lion skinned clothing, you are more autistic than the fucking beak lions themselves will have the fucking disease Beakskolionosis, the symptoms are the following.

  • obtaining a low velocity yellow-purple asshole rash
  • Having a god damn erectile dysfunction that will cause your dick to inflate until combustion
  • Every day, you will have a continuous stream of diarrhea shits for 2 hours at a time
  • Vomit mother fucking owls for five minutes every night as thirty seconds at 2:23 in the morning
  • A random ass beak lion will be mailed to your house, electrocute your ass, set it'self on fire, and run while burning to death into your house by any means possible, and setting your house on fire
  • At some point in time you will have rabies and will foam at the mouth and have nonstop seizures

I swear to the lord above if anybody else fucking eats beak lions beside the three autistic fucks that conceived STD'S from them (which we will speak of later on) I will jump off the nearest hill onto a train, and leave this fucking country. If you every thought eating beak lions was a good idea, go kill yourself, please, because Beakmilitosius is the god damn disease you get from those shitty ass smelling beaky bois. If our dumb-asses can persuade you not to consume beak lions, it is because...

  • Your god damn blood will turn yellow
  • Your god damn teeth will say "FUCK THIS SHIT I'M OUT" and jump out of your damn mouth
  • Your hair will immediately foll off and you will be known as BALDY MCBALDY ASS
  • You will have Tumors on your god damn ass, so you have an ass on your ass

As I said Previously, there are beak lion STD's and we have dumb pieces of donkey shit going out and fucking beak lions. So what I need to do is list the fucking STD's of these god damn beak lions.

BEAK LION AIDS[edit]

(BLA) is Aids, but beak lion form. Beak Lion aids can be given in multiple fucking ways, and they are the following.

  • Simply fucking a beak lion that has aids
  • having blood from a beak lion that has aids injected ONLY IN YOUR ASS CHEEKS!!
  • Get anally penetrated by a beak lion that has aids
  • Being beaten by a wooden pole by and beak lion
  • having a beak lion devour you whole and shit you out
  • challenging it to a pissing contest in France
  • Being vomited on in Russia by a beak lion with Scoliosis
  • By digesting a beak lion omelette with a side of burnt salamanders with infused jew ashes

If your digity dumb ass faggot ass autistic ass did either of the following option, i swear to god i would rather be a jew in World War Two, black people till 1950s, and a god damn tower on 9/11, while being attacked by herpes infested dragon dicks. Symptoms are the following

  • Your entire god damn mother fucking right arm will just foll of, no blood, no shit, just pops off for not god damn reason, EXCEPT YOU FUCKED A BEAK LION
  • Every pigeon in 5 god damn miles of your BLA infested ass will constantly hunt you down, and have constant diarrhea shit pour out of their ass.
  • Have an epileptic seizure every month on the 12th day only at 3:32 p.m. and 20.329745639875623478 seconds.
  • Hitler will be resurrected, will come to your house every night, and leave a package of donkey piss
  • Parsons will come to your house with 32 salamanders while playing Friday by Rebecca Black
  • A boar will randomly show up toy our doorstep, set itself on fire, shit in its own mouth, and run into your house, and burn your house down.
  • YOU CAN'T EAT BACON YOU AUTISTIC SHIT ANYMORE, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE (death would be a preferable option)

Beak Lion Gonorrhea[edit]

(BLG) is where you have Beak Lion Gonorrhea for 25 years, 5 moths, 23 days, 3 hours, 27.32322324425 minutes, and 46.764584638795923478 seconds and 65.23756328754287653 milliseconds, if you....

  • Fuck a beak lion
  • get fucked by a beak lion
  • become a jew
  • lick a beak lion
  • eat a beak lion
  • date a beak lion
  • stare at a beak lion
  • exist around a beak lion
  • french kiss a beak lion

The god damn symptoms of you obtaining this shit, is the following.

  • Constant diarrhea shit
  • spontaneous human combustion
  • you turn into a fucking well for 2 minutes and 34.87365879341625 seconds
  • You will be forced to attend high school once again, but everyone there is purple, green, and turned inside out.
  • Loose all sense of smell
  • Piss out your own vomit uncontrollably only on Tuesdays
  • Be mercilessly beaten by trash bags

One note i want to put to this STD is that you can get it again, it doesn't stop at the one time, so if you do get Beak Lion Gonorrhea, don't get it again, dumb ass.

Beak Lion Mycoplasma Genitalium[edit]

(BLMG) is one of the worst version of the beak lion std group, it is highly recommended by every non-dumb ass around the world to tell autistic fucks like yourself to not..

  • FUCK A BEAK LION AT 9 A.M.
  • Consume a beak lion pelvis
  • Give beak lions wings for fucks sake
  • Command a battalion of beak lions into Britain, and give beak lions tea from London
  • GIVE A BEAK LION A GOD DAMN FUCKING PURPLE POLKA-DOTTED TANK OF ANY KIND
  • snorting powdered beak lion through the ass-old
  • Feed the damn beak lion a fucking bean burrito from taco bell
  • Eating anything made from a beak lions, they jizz in their food
  • Being in a 20 foot radius of a god damn homosexual beak lion

If you do any of the god damn following, i am leaving and bombing Australia for fucks sake. The god forbidden symptoms goes as follows:

  • A raccoon will go to your house every Tuesday morning at 5:30, screech for 2 minutes, shit for 20 minutes constantly non stop, eat that shit for 8 minutes, then at 6 a.m. it sets itself on fire and jumps into your car and burns it.
  • Your left eye just fucking leaves
  • Your feet will begin to glow blue, and 2 weeks later, they will detach and run away, then you will be left with stubs.
  • YOU WILL IRRATIONALLY FUCKING DESPISE PANDAS
  • your right ear can be used as a pencil sharpener
  • YOU WILL BE RECREATED FROM RADIOACTIVE WASTE
  • The only gun you are able to own is the kolibri, and if you try and grab anything else, the gun will set itself on fire, and summon salamanders to beat the shit out you
  • A vagina-head being will piss on you for one minute
  • a man will run out of a bush and charge you with a live grenade
  • a random ass plane will crash into you going backwards, but not explode, but spaz violently until it throws itself into space

Beak Lions (1600 - 1700)[edit]

This is the beak lion from 1600 to 1700, FUCKING SEND IT TO HELL

Beak Lions only because more autistic as time fucking went by. It seems that the devolve instead of fucking evolving like the rest of us.At this point in time all they never served a fucking purpose. They are just useless pieces of cum-dumpster shit that was left by a god damn Russian badger. In this time period, they did so much damn shit that if you thought this would be short, those fucking beak lions would think YOUR fucking autistic, and would send raccoons to crawl up your ass and nest their children there

Beak Lions (1600 - 1610)[edit]

In the fucking span of ten god damn years they do the dumbest shit for fucks sake that make you think that Katy Perry would fuck one of those things. The god damn bullshit they have done in only 10 fucking god damn mother fucking bitch ass faggot ass years goes as follows.

  • Gave the population of France and only France god damn rabies
  • Invaded Russia using god damn rust sporks, and fucking won
  • Repealed a Russian revolt by using only a standard ass 2 by 4 from the floating Home Depot
  • One beak lion self destructed inside that floating Home Depot
  • Molested Polish men with their fucking tails
  • Shit all over North American rivers

Beak Lions (1610-1620)[edit]

  • Duct taped their shit onto the door-step of African people
  • Mauled the living hell out of the dragons
  • Devoured normal lions whole while spraying diarrhea fecal matter all over the place
  • Cut their own dicks off and used them as grenades
  • Ones with vaginas used this thing called SUPER OMEGA ACID CHALLENGE PISSING
  • They set themselves on fire then barged into peoples house,while inside, they began to defecate themselves until death (this happened often until they went into stealth mode)
  • Dragged Jesus out of heaven so they could beat the living shit out of 60% of Japan's population
  • Went to heaven themselves and mauled God himself, but God used his might fist to anally penetrate those beaky bastards and then split them in half (that's the last time beak lions fought god)
  • Forgot how to breed for a while and used their tails to anally penetrate themselves

Beak Lions (1620-1700)[edit]

  • Used balloons to send Chinese women into space by inflating the balloon in their ass
  • Give Pancreatic Cancer to ONLY British men
  • Drank Reindeer piss randomly for no god damn reason
  • took the land of Poland and smashed it repeatedly on France
  • They created the Cock Bell, it rings but instead of ding it goes COOOOOOOOOCK....COOOOOOOOOOCK
  • ripped the balls off of male beak lions for 3 years by using their mouth if the male beak lion began to piss in its own mouth
  • 30% of the population developed mesothelioma and would spread it by pissing into a bag and forcing anything to drink their bagged piss
  • THEY SWAM ONTO BOATS AND PISSED ON THE CAPTAIN, THEN LEAVE AFTER LEAVING CORN MIXED DIARRHEA IN THE BOTTOM OF THE BOAT
  • beak lion in Italy were used in muskets, they just used compressed musket balls, and when it impacts a target, the fucking beak lion will be on fire, mauling the hell out of your god damn soul, and shoving trees, WHOLE ASS TREES, down your fucking throat.
  • While hiding in trees, it fucking sprays it's diarrhea ass all over you, and will chance you backwards constantly shitting, there is no escape of the DIARRHEA SHITTING BEAK LION

Beak Lions (1700 - 1800)[edit]

This beak lion got mauled by an arrow, so it ate the entire fort

In this timeline, they actually took part in a very import of american history, THE FIGHT FOR NAZISM! Being serious, the revolutionary war was the United States of Americas war for freedom from Great Britain. What they don't tell you in the history books that beak lions played a part, in annoying the fucking out of every god damn solider, and the people that shot them, received different typed of hell. The beak lion bull-shit actions, that i believe would make you prefer wanting to fuck a boar, goes as follows

  • It will precede to maul the living Jesus out of your soul and turn to Nazism (not sponsored.....maybe)
  • It will make you explode from inflating you with mouth-to-mouth vomit
  • SUMMON A FUCKING ARTILLERY GUN AND SHIT YOU WITH IT LIKE A RIFLE POINT BLANK
  • Steal your gun and chase you with it for 1 minute and 32 seconds, then shoot you wherever it pleases
  • Grab the closest tree and proceed to mercilessly beat you with that exact tree
  • Piss in its mouth
  • Pick you up, and carry you to a volcano and drop you in the volcano
  • FORCE YOU TO ATTEND CHURCH
  • Give you a live vasectomy
  • Set itself on fire and then flop on your body and will refuse to fucking move

Beak Lions (1700 - 1774)[edit]

Before the revolutionary war, they have achieved some autistic bullshit that you would rather bleach your fucking dick 50 times than read any of this, but your doing both, because fuck you

  • They declared war on the fucking trees, and began to uproot every tree in sight, but the trees became god damn sentient and because to beat the ever living shit out of the beak lions until surrender
  • Went on British ships and capsized those ships using only the weight of other fucking beak lions
  • For a period of time, started the act of cannibalism, only using fire
  • had the ability to shoot flames, but only out of it's god damn ass
  • There was an epidemic of rainbow piss
  • In Germany, beak lions started a new act of anal virginity theft
  • last, but hella fucking not least, GENITAL DELETION FROM BEAK LIONS CHEWING THE SHIT OUT OF A MALE BEAK LIONS TESTICLES
  • GAVE EVERYONE IN JAPAN THE CORONA VIRUS

Beak Lions (1775 - 1783)(American Revolutionary War)[edit]

  • They stole the British rifles and kept fucking deapthroating those rifles, or just flat out fucking eating them ONLY FOR BREAKFAST
  • Replaced every fucking canon, with a god damn raccoon. Reasoning for this is because they wanted stop fucking trees, so they just stole all the fucking cannons
  • They flipped every fucking raccoon upside down, and even the forts, THE FORTS WEREN'T EVEN SPARED
  • Wrote plans to bomb Australia, and grave them to Britain, but unfortunately, they don't know how to read beak lion, but the messages kept coming ONLY ON TUESDAY
  • Replaced all the fucking bayonets with butter knifes, because they needed those for dick amputation, then proceeded to use those cut off dicks at 2:32 in the fucking morning
  • Gave text-books to the British, but set those books on fire while shipping
  • Stole an island of Hawaii, and threw it at the Americans, but they FUCKING MISSED, and hit the god damn BRITISH, because they forgot THEIR FUCKING GLASSES
  • Stole shit ton of snow to Pennsylvania, but it fucking melted and flooded the British all the way back to Virginia
  • They was going to steal all the frogs and send them to Alabama, but made a fucking WOOPSIE POOPSIE, but instead there are 2,000 BEAVERS IN BRITAIN GOD DAMN IT
  • Invaded London, and stole all the bagels, EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM, then used them and cock and ball torture devises and BALL RINGS
  • Took exactly 42 1/2 flamingos, set them on fire, sent them into stealth mode, and threw them on Gettysburg, and some beak lions wielded them like bats and beat the shit out of ONLY THE GOD DAMN TREES
  • On bunker hill, they replaced some of the musket balls with testicles from other animals
  • slept in the middle of the battlefield, where both sides had to wait 2 weeks to begin fighting again
  • STOLE BELGIUM AND THREW IN ON NORTH CAROLINA
  • Whenever anyone tried to ride them, they would set themselves on fire and chase the rider until it (the beak lion) explodes
  • REMOVED THE EXIT SIGN, NOW EVERYONE IS LOST

Beak Lion Summary (Revolutionary War)[edit]

Your not getting a summary, so go fuck yourselves all the way to France and get raped by the spy from Team Fortress 2 that has aids, THEN get injected with the corona virus, AND get mauled by a beak lion colony, AAAAANNNNDDD get your ass beat by boars and frogs, MOTHER FUCKING AAANNNNDD, get dragged into hell by the frogs, AND GET KILLED BY A RUSTY ASS FAGGOT ASS JEWISH ASS HITLER ASS STALIN ASS SISSY ASS MOLDY ASS MUSKET BEING FIRED THROUGH A MANS ASS-HOLE!!!

Beak lions 1800 - (stealth mode...again)[edit]

Besides going into stealth mode in 1912, they did commit more bullshit over the fucking years till then, because fucking beak lions don't die, THEY GO INTO FUCKING STEALTH MODE GOD DAMN IT! This can't even be a list, it has to be extended properly, because all shit bullshit would kill the list, and force it to anally rape itself.

MORE GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING CREATURES OF HELL[edit]

I swear to god, this shit never end, we are discovering more creatures that they fucking birthed from the pis of hell from this time period than from the revolutionary war, would rather kill myself than have to endure the idiocy of these mother fuckers. UUUGGGHHH, but i got a fucking job to do to protect your dumb ass, you can't even stop having sex parties even though STDS ARE GAAAYYY, even though you all are so god damn sex driven you fucked a beak lion, so i can't say i wasn't expecting this shit.

Beak Lion Board Games (never ending)[edit]

NO, this shouldn't exist, but look upon the sky and tell the god you believe in what the fuck was he thinking making this, because this isn't any normal ass board game, it takes Dungeons & Dragons and takes a fucking tanker load of autism, pesticides, and ground up Australian kangaroos to make such an abomination. Who are the dumbasses that played this damn game, and how did they do it, your neckbeard looking ass eating Cheetos breaking the chair each time you sit while being Australian must be asking. Well let me introduce these people, again, because I'm too fucking lazy to do JACK, why? Cuz your Mom gay and your Dad less, unless they aren't ,then your gay.

Combatants of the Beak Lions[edit]

Only a handful of people posses the essential thought process to even step in front of these damn beaky bastards. It takes so much autistic Energy just the combat these abortion clinics, not even talking about defeating these beaky bois. Some of them have already been listed, or is going to be listed, Just because their autism levels along with character would make a pig turn into an Islamic boat and fly to mars. Let's begin with the ring leader of the autism train, shall we bitchy bois

Ethan the Cube[edit]

This cubed piece of shit has it's own section, want more info on his cancerous reign, look there, dumbass

This boi is a cube, and will cube everything in existence, His nick name is Pucci Cube for only one reason. He thought it would be funny to turn all vaginas in a 20 mile radius into a fucking cube, gave it teeth, and gave it the ability to fucking grow legs and dance against the woman's will. This deep fried Jew is so damn stupid, but so fucking smart at the same times, let me introduce why that fucking is.

  • Yeeted a fuck tactical diarrhea dog shit napalm blast over Australia, and it was so god damn bad the spider's started doing sudoku puzzles (THEY WILL NEVER COMPLETE THE FUCKING BOOK OF PUZZLED BULLSHIT)
  • Pissed a frog off dressed as Hitler, so Germany would have millions of Frogs screaming at them and doing other horrendous shit they could do for 25 years.
  • Shot god in the face with a banana, and left him confused for the rest of the 2000s (that's why covid is still running rapid, bitch)
  • Grabbed a fucking beak lion and shot it so god damn hard using a fuck bow and arrow it caused every known country to call a lockdown, because the fucking screams was so damn loud, it even caused god to put earmuffs on until it fucking stopped
  • turned a fucking platypus into a machine gun that only fires Jews that yell "give me money" until they are killed
  • Drowned a beak lion in Ink, but in return the beak lion tried to panic shit in his mouth, but shat in his ear cuz this bitch a cube, then he became a half def asian cube.
  • Stole the 98th Jesus Christ and used him for show and tell, then beat the shit out of him with a cd player, wrapped in Kik-Birbs
  • Turned a beak lion into a cube, and use the cube to play bowling, but in return the beak lion burnt down the entire town....is nice

That's enough shit from this guy, what abomination could be next, how about the absolute the poor Jew that screached an entire train the hell by using his ass, and only his ass.

David Kockingbirb Possum[edit]

he kills everything with a simple extended screaming ritual

This boi has created cancer, fought cancer, created Jesus K bullets, but we are not here for that horrific shit, we are here for the fact this man can kill things just by screeching it to hell, but what did he send to hell just by screaming like a fucking dragon using a machine gun as a fucking dildo, well you see my fellow uneducated birds that shit on themselves, lemme inform you.

He has screamed professionally on the following,

  • cars
  • tacos
  • moon walking pedophiles
  • Asians
  • ignited wombats
  • abortion clinics that used acid and reindeer piss
  • inverted birds
  • helecopters
  • islands
  • people who think beating up chickens with a rusted spork is a fucking sport

Listen here buddy we ain't done with this white girl seeing a spider screeching looking ass yet my fellow autistic bois. We need to mention HOW THEY DO THE RITUALISTIC SCREECHES! Yay, this will be a mother fucking list so prepare you insides because it's about to get a fragmentation grenade yeeted in their.

  1. He recites the fucking bible in under a fucking second
  2. Crouches into a fucking upside down Y pose
  3. dumps gasoline on himself
  4. proceeds to fucking screech his head all the way off, back on, while setting himself on fire and tackling the mother fucking thing
  5. While in hell, he fills their insides with shit, tapes all holes shut.
  6. Has Satan fill all holes up, and turns it into a fucking child
  7. Forces it to learn how to swim in demon piss
  8. Ends it will a pile on by horny ass boars

That's about it for this guy, all he really does to threaten the fucking beak lions is scream at them and follow the fucking ritual, so this makes him a fucking Nazi to the Jewish beak lions....I wonder if they are Jewish? I digress, we need the next fucker to hurry their ass up and stop procrastinating like the little console whore they really are.

(to be fucking continued because FUCK YOU)

Beak lions Creations Against God and The Multiple Jesus Christs[edit]

You thought the beak lions would be the most Jewish cunt out in the west, or east, I DUNT FACKING KNOW YOU FRICKEN CANCER INFUSED FIRE PIT! Your just wrong, okay, your dumb ass is so fucking wrong that even a salamander could score higher on a SAT than you could WITH A 3RD GRADE SPELLING TEST! Now, put down the autism, use your brains, and tell me why the beak lions created so much bull-shit beings, BECAUSE IM HAVING A METAL BREAK-DOWN FROM THIS FAGGOT SHIT!!!!!!!!!!

Kik-Birbs[edit]

Kik-birbs are notorious for saying mah boi

In the battle of Gettysburg, a fucking colony of beak lions got so pissed, they did a satanic cult to summon this abomination that Satan made just for this fucking event. It has habits of saying "mah boi' every fucking three seconds. It's activities goes as follows

  • It sprays diarrhea shit when threatened
  • Summon random legs to kick the fuck out of whatever it desires
  • uses it's acid piss to engulf his enemies
  • ITS A MOTHER FUCKING WIZARD GOD DAMN IT
  • It will steal your pants, and only your pants
  • Make nests inside your hat, and try and move them, SUPER LASER ACID PISS ATTACK
  • Steal your rifle, only on Wednesday's
  • When shot at, it will combine its SUPER LASER ACID PISS ATTACK, lightning, and 25 Jesus Christs, then turn it into shit, and high velocity diarrhea spray your ass along with anything in a 500 foot radius
  • SUMMON RAINING BEAK LIONS THAT ARE ENGULFED IN FLAMES GOD FUCKING DAMN IT

The revolutionary war was a tool for the beak lions to make, summon, or even distort more creatures and ideas, they stopped making abominations that even the devil would say no to around the time they resumed stealth mode.

this is a boar, but more pissed than God when the devil default danced on Jesus Christ's corpse for the 103,426th time

PIS-A-BOARS[edit]

A pis-a-boar is a beak lion hate infused boar, that has been given hate to whatever the beak lion says it should hate. These are the servant of the beak lions, and whatever the boar is very pissed at, so is a beak lion, so MOTHER FUCKING RUN YOU STUPID MOTHER FUCKER. It has no mercy, it will maul your ass so god damn hard a jew is looking down saying "Yeah, i got it easy compared to him" The boar doesn't kill you, it's everything else thing does. Because the beak lions got so pissed at the battle of Gettysburg, they sent in 2,000 pis-a-boar's. Just imagine just shooting the enemy and see 2,000 MOTHER FUCKING BOAR LOOKING CREATURES RUNNING AT YOU FULL SPEED READY TO MAUL YOUR ASS TO FUCKING HELL, THEN GO TO HELL TO PROCEED TO MAUL YOU EVEN MORE. What pissed them off the worst was..

  • the main existence of Manatees
  • 100th - 146th Jesus Christ
  • Hitler's toothbrush
  • Joseph Stalin's 31st cigar, ONLY THE 31ST
  • humans, just fucking humans
  • Calendars
  • Construction workers
  • Jewish Merchants
  • Rainbows
  • Hentai
  • Apples, and only red apples
  • A pis-a-boar pissing on itself
  • Taco shells
  • The Spanish Inquisition
  • The 65,000 year long rave called the machine girl show, and they made everyone overdose 1,000 times a second until they finally collapsed into a tesseract, than ate everyone's ass in the 134th dimension
(lots of things will burn your fucking house down)
This will be at your house, and just sit there, then at 3 a.m. it will piss on your house and set it on fire and drive away.

The Autism Machines[edit]

The autism is know for sensing any form of autism and has a dedicated fan group for fucks sake. Currently, you can see this abomination of hell and it's fans in a discord server, as i call it, CANCER-CORD. In the revolutionary fucking war, this would drive around for no fucking reason and steal people and dump them into a pit of beak lions and pi-a-boars. I would rather kill myself than deal with this faggotry bullshit. The machine itself looks like a god damn pig and the mystery machine had a fucking love child and removed mystery with autism. In present time, the discord has the following cancerous characters

  • Manatee Fucker
  • Banana Cock
  • Little Hitler
  • MOTHER FUCKING OTAKU WEEB ASS HAIR MAN
  • Jesus Christ
  • Porn Enthusiast

There are many characters, but i don't know them all because i don't do my research, so have a merry Halloween lion.

Autism is the name of the game baby, the reason it is associated with beak lions is because when they came together on 4:35 p.m. in the battle of Gettysburg and preformed the sacred ritual, here comes Satan. After mauling the living hell out of Satan and stealing half his arm, his pelvis, and his left eyeball, outcomes THE AUTISM MACHINE.

THIS IS A PISSED FROG, FEAR IT

Pissy-frogs[edit]

Pissy-frogs, they are just very chonky big bois that got pissed off for some reason, except there are some catches. As a normal fatty ass frog does, roll around in the piss infused dirt, the beak lion discovered things to severely piss it off, beyond the squeaks. It gets so fucking pissed off that it will STARE INTO YOUR FUCKING SOUL DEMANDING YOUR ATTENTION TO FIXATE ON THE SEVERELY OF IT'S PISSED LEVELS. Other than that, just use its feet to maul you half to death. Main mother fucking question of the paragraph, what atrocious things could a beak lion do to piss a fat boi so god damn bat shit horrible. that leads to sed fat boi becoming the newest serial killer from mauling their way into your stomach and continue to maul your intestines until death? It goes as the following...

  • your existence in their territory, fuck off you bitch ass whore
  • having a beak lion mailed to their house, and when they open it, their is a fully enclosed beak lion on fire screaming while defecating on itself
  • being shitted on for any reason
  • BEING BEATEN WITH A PLASTIC CROSS WRAPPED IN GREEN AND PURPLE LIGHTS
  • being teased because of its extra meaty extra hunky CHONKYNESS
  • watching one of Cardi B's videos, any mother fucking shitty ass video from the cancer breeder herself
  • musket balls (which will see more details later on)
  • Fortnite dances being acted upon within a 100 meter god damn radius

Pissy-frogs attack methods[edit]

When pissed, these stupid mother fuckers will make the most bullshitiest things, but yet most feared by men from tales long ago, since all the people that met fate with these frogs were fucking murdered. Anything that pisses off these frogs actually fucking dies, even beak lions fear these mother fuckers for the shit they commit on a daily basis because now they are PERMANENTLY PISSED. There is never a fucking day in those frogs life where they are not fucking pissed off. It can be the sun, the moon, the clouds, the grass, it can even be the fucking air, THEY WILL BE PISSED AT IT. There are only a select few that they actually fucking act upon whatever is pissing them off, which will be spoken of for your dumb ass to understand because i bet your ass won't walk up to a frog and piss it off in different ways to see what it does.

Fortnite Dances[edit]

If by any chance you do a god damn fortnite dance around a thicc boi frog, it will lunge on your face screeching and will summon a mother fucking tank out of god damn nowhere, and will shoot purple horses wrapped in Lady Gaga's outfits ever millisecond exactly until you either wear one of the outfits, die to the fucking horse, or be under 132,425,523 horse corpses. In that situation there are only two options for your dumb dumb lookin' ass , and that is the horses fighting each other so they can eat you, or just lick you to death, yes, THEY WILL LICK YOU TO DEATH.

Cardi B's Music Videos[edit]

If you set one of Cardi's music videos in front of one of these god damn frogs, it will begin to spaz uncontrollably and will grow 6 feet in height and will summon muscles from absolutely fucking nowhere and will summon a cat from god himself and will turn it into a fucking hammer. Cat still being alive, then struck with lightning that will keep circling through the cat, and then set on fire. Then the frog jumps into the air, screaming "Country Tis of Thee" in toads voice, begins to beat the living shit out of the phone with the cat hammer, then will turn it's attention onto you and begin to maul you for exactly 30 seconds after destroying the phone. If your still alive by then, the frog will just shoot lasers through its eyes at you until death is assured.

Being Shitted On[edit]

If you must shit out in the woods, make sure the shit doesn't land on one of these frogs, because hell will be unleashed upon your dumb dumb lookin' ass, figuratively and literally. If by any chance you may have shit on one of these frogs, consequences won't be immediate, because what it does is so bizarre, the beak lions themselves received the treatment because they didn't watch where they took their heavy shits at. This is what happens, the frog becomes so fucking pissed, i will mail itself to your house, in a fucking envelope. How the fuck does nobody look at an envelope and think, "wait, there is this weird thing bulging out of this envelope saying 'A little present just for you.' "? Because the frog went into stealth mode god damn it, so you couldn't see it, IT WAS IN STEALTH MODE FOR FUCKS SAKE! As soon as your ass receives the envelope, it will use its fuckery sense to know your mother fucking greasy ass hands grabbed that fucking envelope. It will proceed to shove its ass out of the envelope, and high velocity fire hose you and your house with diarrhea corn infused shit with gasoline. BUT I'M NOT DONE YET YOU LITTLE SHITS AND NEITHER IS THIS FUCKING FROG! It will then set itself on fire and attach itself to your face, setting you on fire along with everything the diarrhea and gasoline mix spray that fucking landed because you shit on a frog. Good fucking job, now the entire city is on fire because you thought one day it was a good idea to shit upon that god damn frog, and this is why we can't have anything fucking nice.

Calling it Fat[edit]

If you dare say anything negative about the frogs chunkiness, it will forceful drag your ass into hell and will proceed to maul your eyes out of their sockets. Then exactly 1,032 and a half of these damned frogs will begin to assault your stomach, forcing its way in through with random claws because hell has no god damn mother fucking shitty ass Jewish ass logic. If your not already dead. it will kill you will the EXTRA CHUNCKY OMEGA LARGE BEAN BURRITO FROGO DILDO. Standing over 3 feet tall and 2 feet in diameter, then with that fucking thing it will ram it through the ass, and that is a guarantee death for you there, since your insides will be pushed out your mouth then set on fire for their sacred ritual. OH yeah, the ritual, the ritual is where your set on fire on the dildo and they do the sacred chant "nsdafgfifrqghrsuoygfhryfgher8yh8erwhg8h538ge8firg8yghgyhz80h80yh580ah g8hs58hg&*GH8075h80qht8075eh80th8H80t5he80hy8eh87gth8yhiurhgiu" This is the text, but translated by a pet frog, it say "We are chonky, we are chunky, we are also very hunky. You are on a dildo, that's how life flows, It's a fact everyone knows. You mock our chonk, we will give you a bonk, WATCH OUR FUNK." .Simply, you either die from the heat of hell, the mauling of many frogs, or a frog dildo, or their horrible fucking chants that make 6ix9ine a fucking masterpice.

Musket Balls[edit]

They love all balls, except musket balls being fired in a radius of 35.32987 meters exactly of their location. This is more of a unique pissed mood, since it usually only involves only the person who committed the action. Instead, this sends them into such a fucking realm of reality that the level of jewish ashes in their tiny asshole has put fucking hitler's crusade to shame, as shameful as the god damn polish strip clubns. But they are so fucking pissed off so god damn severely that they fucking go ape-shit on everyone it sees with a Union or Confederate uniform. Step by step this is how it takes action.

  1. When the musket ball makes impact in the area on one of these frogs, it will begin to screech as load as it possibly can, people 80 miles away claimed they heard this ear piercing shriek in their diaries and journals
  2. The tone of the screech will begin to get deeper, but still just as loud, and more frogs begins to screech just as fucking load
  3. their size begins to enlarge to as big as 12 feet in height
  4. They will run at you full fucking speed and begin you kick everything, at times they will eat whatever is in front instead of beating the ever living shit out of it
  5. IT WILL SHIT ON YOU
  6. If not killed, their reign of painful constant screeches will continue, along with their mauling, eating, and shitting.

One frog just began to spaz uncontrollably and begin to dedicate, vomit, and ooze blood and puss for 20 minuets until it died, believes the musket ball hit the frog, but NOBODY FUCKING KNOWS BECAUSE MUSKETS ARE SHIT WITH AIM.

having a beak lion mailed to their house[edit]

We smart people had to watch this happen, because we don't want to have a fucking beak lion std you idiotic shit. Beak lions are known for mailing themselves to placed, but we learned that they don't mail themselves to frogs houses, well at least after that one incident that only affected their entire fucking beaky as town, or whatever they fucking call it. So a beak lion had a great fucking idea, and that was to mail him to a frogs house. Thinking nothing would happen and it would get a good meal from that frog and whatever else was there. Just like the frogs when you shit on them, it goes into stealth mode when entering only an envelope, ONLY A FUCKING ENVELOPE! Just when the fucking beak lion was delivered in the mail box, that fucking dotty ass frog opens the envelope to spot a flattened beak lion. That frog got so god damn pissed it began to furiously shake and begin to have a constant stream of shit, not diarrhea this time. Then it will enlarge rapidly, then do some mitosis looking shit where they just start splitting off, BUT WITH THE EXACT SAME SIZE. There was in total 1,2343,527,243,193 frogs when this shit ended, on land, in the sea, and some even in fucking space. They split off so fast that the beak lions was overwhelmed by all these god damn screeching frogs, so they just fucking died. Don't mail a beak lion to there house, WE DON'T WANT TO CLEAN UP A BILLION FROGS AGAIN GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!!!!!

BEING BEATEN WITH A PLASTIC CROSS WRAPPED IN GREEN AND PURPLE LIGHTS[edit]

WE DON'T NEED PEOPLE REPEATING THIS SHIT OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I swear to the lord above i will beat whoever causes the next frog apocalypse. Every fucking time i believe the human race can't get any stupider, i am proven wrong because they won't stop beating frogs with plastic transparent crosses wrapped in green and purple Christmas lights. I fucking hate you all, go pound sand, and kill yourselves you autistic fucks for causing these abominations of hell to spawn even more horrendous shit.....this needs it's own page just to go into detail about this faggot shit, but i will stop at the cross. There are three things the frogs has done because people won't fucking stop being them with these fucking crosses.

  1. A bat, a living bat, would summon on your hand and begin to infect you with the corona virus, and then piss in your bloodstream
  2. it will twerk in your direction constantly farting flames in your direction, it can not be fucking killed at this point, so your either running forever or accept your fate to die by a twerking fire farting frog looking very pissed at you
  3. The front legs will turn into muscular arms and grab that cross, then fucking scream like a god damn goat set on fire being inflated by a water hose. Then will proceed to beat your ass with that cross, it will beat the ever living fuck out of your soul and will not stop until you die and decompose. Yes, IT WILL MAUL YOU TO DEATH, THEN MAUL YOUR FUCKING CORPSE TO DECOMPOSITION LAND YOU STUPID AUTISTIC DOWN SYNDROME FUCK!

Murderous Plush Ducks[edit]

this meme makes a joke about auto correct, but the duck just auto-corrected their heart beat

Make fun of this plushy beaky bitch right here, your going to fucking die. I don't want to see the ways this mother fucker kills it's enemies, but i had to witness all this shit so I can make this article for your faggot ass. Anyways, here are the ways the fucker, known as plusher ducker fucker, has slaughtered the innocent

  • slapped people repeatedly with a plush knife
  • just over all digest literally fucking everything
  • used a machine gun to shoot people with a 200 round magazine, if still alive, then would continuously use it as a bat, to orally rape your mouth
  • enlarged only its mother fucking beak so it can drown you in vomit infused piss
  • flew like a helicopter and would maul anything from testicles to heart, TESTICLES FIRST!!!

I don't know if i made fun of one of the ducks, because all it's doing is standing on my TV quaking constantly, hasn't moved for 2 years, so maybe it's ass will perch itself somewhere while quaking for the rest of fucking existence. I don't fucking care, just don't tease this fluffy beaky bitch, or your ass will fucking regret it. Yeah, fuck you you beaky bitch...wait...ffffffffffffffUCK! Welp, see you all in hell because here comes the fucking machine gun. SHIT BITCH FUCK ASS CUNT WHORE.....SHIT!

Picockachock[edit]

This abomination is the BASTARD OF A MOTHER FUCKING son of the devil anally raping his lawyers wife, but the dick was so big it broke through the anus into the vagina, so yeah

WHY THE FUCKING HELL DID OUR SWEET JESUS CHRIST LET THIS ABOMINATION OF SATIN AND JUSTIN BIEBER'S LOVE CHILD FUCKING EXIST ON THIS GOD DAMN EARTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I would rather shoot myself with a fucking kolibri than look at this thing. I would gladly take the closest shotgun, and kill every fucking child of this horrendous thing and then torturer the others. FUCKING HELL, i would rather take myself getting castrated while awake than watch this thing anymore than i already have. Even their fucking creators, the god damn beaky ass fire farting beak lions, run away in fear of what their ritual has summoned. MOST OF THEM JUST FUCKING KILLED THEMSELVES!! They said fuck stealth mode for this shit, they just starter using their beaks to eat their way to their own beating heart, and then bent a certain way so their shit would prevent their heart from beating anymore. I believe that's why Jesus Christ hasn't returned yet, BECAUSE THIS SHIT STILL EXISTS ON THIS FUCKING EARTH GOD MOTHER FUCKING ASS BLEEDING JEW HUNTING...FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

Mr. Ezel [spawn of Satan][edit]

THANKS BEAK LIONS I FUCKING HATE YOU

Oh sweet fucking Christ what do we have here? Looks like God took a extra chunky shit, got drunk, and made his terrorist looking ass out of his own doodie. God apparently got so drunk that he forgot to finish his damn eyebrows before he fucking died from that shit. What made him so fucking drunk for his holy ass to do that kind of fuckery you might be asking? Well, just only Jesus Christs's piss after freezing it and having it for desert, that's all. His name shouldn't even fucking be Ezel, it should be Fagzel for how much gay energy he exerts on a fucking daily basis. I don't fucking know why, but he has this special place to work at that is literal fucking god damn named "The Jewish Closet of Capitalist Purchases"! If that doesn't scream I am a gay, then apparently you all are fucking gay as well, because only a gay would defend a gay from gay tendencies. It doesn't fucking matter if your piss poor little feeling think that I'm being a "meanie",your faggot ass can take the closest piece of wood, and give your asshole some nice juicy splinters, then get some rust nails and do the same you god damn monkey inflated green communist hippo.

Is He Hitler?[edit]

Is this mother fucker Hitler? To that question I say he is Hitler, and i have no god damn mother fucking evidence to back that bullshit up, but god damn it i will make it up so damn well you will be saying hello mother fucking Jewish ass Hitler when he is doing his next ritual. Matter of fact my fucking lazy ass will make so many fucking points why his fucking ass is a reincarnated version of god damn jew ash food preparing Hitler. PREPARE YOUR ANUS FOR FACT RAPE!

The bedroom[edit]

The bedroom sounds like the place where he would have decided to raped a Jew to your tiny maggot mind, but I as an intellectual know that's not where he rapes Jews, it's in the basement you fucking dumpling, THE BASEMENT! Inside his glorious bedroom is riddled with naked picture of Joseph Stalin, which there are also hate messages wanting him to burn in fucking hell and be mauled by a fucking honey badger with rabies. Inside his glorious bedroom is riddled with naked picture of Joseph Stalin and Benito Mussolini,  which there are also hate messages wanting them to burn in fucking hell and be mauled by a fucking honey badger with rabies, no shit. There are even diary entries that we wished they all could have a threesome in Auschwitz. Among all this horny gay shit, he also has a monkey that loves to thrust it's dick upon the head it is on. Under the bed, there is a latch that you would think would lead to the basement right? Wrong, god damn your fucking dumber than the god damn Jews for cancer's sake, IT LEADS TO THE SECOND BEDROOM YOU AUTISTIC SHIT! now this is where the weird ass bull shit begins to form inside of your asshole and begin to explode spraying it all over the god damn Jews. in this secret bedroom hols the shit sprinkled key to knowing if this motherfucker is god damn Hitler for fucks sake. god damn if this isn't Hitler' I swear to god I will in the name of the 354th Jesus Christ that fuck boys assholes only on god damn Tuesdays walk out of my fucking home and take a shit on a cat. I WILL FUCKING SHIT ON A GOD AN CAT IN THE NAME OF THAT SPECIFIC JESUS!!! there is a body pillow of Joseph Stalin, and it has jizz stains all over it. The horny shit between Stalin and Mussolini is never ending. Full body mannequins, with jizz stains, pictures of them, with jizz stains, and jizz stains, WITH JIZZ STAINS!

Surfin Surfer[edit]

Dear god save us now, because here comes the very thing beak lions created that forced them to go into stealth mode. Upon his birth he screeched like a bitch and forced the beak lions to return into stealth mode because his autism levels exceeded the fucking beak lions levels of autism. This fucking faggot over here even decided to take a massive shit on someone's house, WITHOUT INSURANCE, what a chad. But if you actually believed he didn't achieve anything else you have the omega fucking useless cuck's injected in your balls my dude, because this chad out chads all chads, but it wasn't easy. This boi was autistic and was a big fat S I M P from the very get go, but after chad training he has achieve omega chonky thot rejecting shotgun to morph him into the chad he is now. But we shall look at how he began, as an autistic fuck looking for prostitutes in hell, aka, his birth.

From autistic beginnings[edit]

As your dumb as brain already knows, this man's autism exceeds the beak lions by ten fold, but did you know it wasn't always this way? His screech may have scared the hell out of the beak lions, but i never said their reaction in its fullest. Before the stealth mode, they began to team shit upon his face to shut his fucking ass up, all that did was make him like fortnite, which the beak lions also created, fuck. I often forget to explain the entire birthing process, I didn't want to because I don't feel like it, but I have nothing else to do so shoot my balls off and lets finish this FUCKING SHIT!

Birthing[edit]

A human being birthed from a beak lion, how could this happen, says your mother fucking dumb ass fetus killing Jew burning black enslaving ass. Well let me explain line by line how this shit happened. First of all, a guy fucked a beak lion, with a shovel, laced with his semen. Then we wait 2 years for the sacred ritual to be prepared, if done wrong, the beak lions will begin to shit in their own mouth and die from their own shit. Next is the chant, the chant goes as follows. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" Even if one letter is off, they die, if it is mispronounced, they die. That is usually why we don't want people fucking beak lions, and also it COVERS THE LAND IN SHIT FOR FUCKING MILES YOU USELESS FUCKING CUNT ASS QUEER ASS JEWISH ASS GORILLA ASS FUCK! Ahem, next is the default dance ritual, which is very crucial to the birth, because the child needs to dance out of the whom while being beaten by 38 Jesus Christs, and exactly that amount. After this dumpster fire was finished birthing Satan from his asshole, we got surfer, the useless faggot of all faggots.

His uses[edit]

Every man does something, but what does the radical surfin surfer of the surf do? Let me list the accomplishments motherfucker has accomplished in his pathetic life so far

  • Turned all women into lesbians
  • Turned all men into beak lion worshipers
  • Shit into a beak lions until he exploded from his shit
  • used his piss to make a fragmentation grenade
  • spread the cult of the fortnite gang through the world
  • stole Psychotic penguin's balls and mounted them to the 134th Jesus Christ's face
  • default danced on the solder's corpse during funeral
  • raged so fucking hard that he turned inside out, sprayed vomit and shit everyone. burned 20% of the jewfish population, and went back to playing F O R T N I T E
  • shot a wall
  • shot a floor
  • shot the sky
  • FUCKING MISSED THE ENEMY 1cm AWAY FROM HIS ASS
  • built towers that made the population of New York City jealous
  • MADE A FUCKING OTTER TANK BRIGADE
  • use the beak lions to break everyone's balls while drinking PISS
  • put captain obvious in time out

You couldn't tell me that this hunky chucky bitch took a plane on 9/11 and begin to fucking default dance the fucking people to death WHILE the fucking plane is flying to Disney, and in mid fucking flight get distracted and jump out, and me take you fucking seriously. This isn't the 96th Jesus Christ we are talking about you mediocre clarinet playing shit stain.

Is he Stalin?[edit]

Another question I fucking frequently is that IS THIS MOTHERFUCKING BITCH A STALIN? To answer that question we must compare traits and possibly contrast, but contrasting is fucking gay and should have been killed instead of Epstein...wait....forget that. Ignore that dumbassery, we all have a little autistic bastard in all of us, Even the fucking buildings have a lil autism, because they keep falling the fuck down, STAY UP DAMN IT. I'm getting sidetracked, I should be focusing on the fact that Surfer is possibly Stalin and give you poof why correct? Sorry you failed abortion clinic, that ain't happening today, I'm going to annoy the fuck out of you with random generated text with my mind. I'm lying, only an absolute fucking idiot downing a beak lion whole with Colin cancer would ever think of something that damn autistic, now lets look at the facts shall we my autistic Chernobyl rejects?

His dungeon[edit]

This man is absolutely addicted to Stalin's mustache so fucking bad, he has a fucking farm of it in that fucking dungeon. Why the hell would anyone grow mustaches unless you were making a fucking walrus, but the failed abortion beak lion already cucked Noah on the fucking boat so god damn bad, even furries started to exist, and it wasn't as tamed as we know of it today, neither was dictatorships but that isn't my point. My point is why does this mother fucking fortnite crack addicted midget growing fucking Stalin staches in his god damn dungeon, HELL, why does he even have a dungeon. You see kiddies, we got ourselves a rare case of an autism dungeon, they are very rare in the fucking wild.

Beak Lion Regiment[edit]

If these mother fucking beaky bitches didn't have there own fucking regiment they would have had a cult, but they look dat the titles and fucking said both. If you thought they would choose, you better fucking scratch that shit off your mind because i swear they have so much bullshit within this damn regiment it would take so many passages and mother fucking rants to even give you a god damn mother fucking clue what even fucking happens.

Bullshit in the start[edit]

here we begin with original idea of the fucking regiment, because cannibalism and aids was spreading rapid around their land, so they made a fucking regiment. As you know they named it after themselves, like every single mother fucking thing i god damn know. As you would know now it's not the autistic names that piss me off, it's the god damn action they partake in, i swear, i would rather use a cat as a fucking rocket launcher than partake in any of this bullshit. I don't think your metaly prepared for what this regiment actually fucking did, i really believe you would begin to kill yourself faster than Hitler when he faced the Jews, wait, the French, FUCK, okay, it was the American forces basically running the beaches going " WE ARE GOING TO EAT YOUR ASS FOR FUCKING DINNER YOU FAGGOTS!

Beak Lion Civil War[edit]

I KNOW I KNOW, they supposedly made this fucking regiment to have peace, but in the first fucking day, CIVIL WAR! I swear to fucking god and the multiple Jesus Christs, especially the 43rd that they are the dumbest things to every roam the fucking dimension. HELL, even their own fucking creatures they created are smarter than these fucking BEAK LIONS! Anyways, this is how the fucking regiment decided to fight this war, AND WIN!

  • Raise their legs and high velocity diahhrea blast the enemy beak lions
  • default dance enough times for the enemy to HAVE A FUCKING SEIZURE AND DIE!
  • set the hostile beak lion's tail on fire and spray gasoline out of their mouths in the fucking tail
  • use gasoline in a pool, and when the opposite sides enter, THEY SET IT ON FIRE
  • obliviously beating the shit out of the enemies, BUT WITH JEWS
  • Stole the 52nd Jesus Christ and used him as a god damn FLAME THROWER
  • Give all of them aids via beak lion crack
  • plant flowers in hostile lands and have them wield FUCKING MACHINE GUNS!

But this is just the beginning of this bullshit from them, they had a world war, fought all the revolts from the Jews, and had to kill AN ARMY OF HITLERS! Let's talk about that one next, where they had to fight an army of fucking sieg heiling hitlers ready to heat their balls off in fucking hell.

Cancer, god help us all[edit]

Cancer is an abomination that roams the damn Earth we inhabit and it is also a god damn fucking plaque we cannot ever cure. (We even tried Jesus, not even he could stop this bullshit.) This high level bull-shit is a method of making people want to shove cactus balls up their ass, blow their brains out with a herpes-infested musket, and want to shove a fully functional artillery shell up their ass until it explodes. The many varieties of cancer is endless so this article will be updated many times to add more info on the types of cancer.

In 1962, cancer was used to defeat the Japanese in the civil war, and in the war of AAAAAHHH. I will speak of these vomit inducing cancers, but not in this paragraph because your little bitch-ass didn't wright this shit! So go shove a dragon dildo in your ass, unlubricated. Don't want that, then shut the hell up an finish reading the article you god damn low velocity dumpster baby.

Beak Lion Cancer[edit]

this is a Cancerous Beak lion, take note dumb-ass

Beak Lion Cancer (BLC) is a form of cancer that makes you fucking seizure to death or vomit uncontrollably, this is a type of cancer that is spreadable through other forms of cancer, which makes cancer as a whole is as deadly as it is, dumb-ass. So if you feel like convulsing because you watched a god damn furry on Tik-Tok, you probably have BLC now, and should watch your cringe intake, unless you wanna fucking die then go right ahead, you would give a new meaning to GOTTA BLAST. (Wanna learn more about these mother fuckers, known as beak lions.

The man that made cancer, and fought it all at once

THE FUCKING CURES:[edit]

In 1872, the only damn cure known for BLC is a low velocity anvil, Jewish toasters ,and a EXTRA THICCCC fire-farting-hippopotamus. The issue is that the ingredients were rare, because people wouldn't stop using the anvils and hippopotamuses as dildo's, thanks ya FACKIN RETARDS. Which lead to there being only one damn beaky option, which is to catapult the shity-ass beak lions to space for a Sun-Infused-Aneurysm reset. Then two more were found recently, but not in this paragraph, because fuck you.

JESUS K-BULLETS:[edit]

A new cure for our fellow beak lions is a Jesus hand made K-bullet, used in muskets to make boars shit in their own mouth.This was tested with Beak Lions in 1942 by a man names Von kick-your-ass-to-France Stroheim, it cured the Beak Lion Cancer, but Jesus K-Bullets are so hard to come by because you have to throw an ammo box into a volcano and wait for a light yellow pig to walk up to you, scream at a flower for 10 minuets, and shit the bullets into a pail, and if no pail, it wil forced it's ass on your mouth and will proceed.

THE DEAD POSSUMS:[edit]

David K. Possum has created a formula to shove into the ass of Beak Lions, to cure their Zombie-ass-syndrome. Soon after he tested it by shoving Dead Possums through the ears of the Beak Lions, being a cure to the cancer. The formula for Dead Possums is a dead possum, David's sperm, his shit, added with school internet, and green shrapnel. The uses of this fucking abomination of hell is when pedophiles and furries have 50 love children and this man wanted them fucking dead. It look like a giant ass laser cannon that is shoulder mounted blasting them with vomit, diahrea, blood, and sewer water at a high velocity destroying every skin cell b beating it up and stealing it's mother fucking lunch money.

ITS HORRIBLE CREATION:[edit]

The Beak Lion Cancer was birthed from David's ass-hair, a table from the sun, and a Jewish oven from under-water.When combined alone made this magical cum-dumpster that made Bean-Burrito_tacos- on white bread. Then the vary man who made Dead Possums, David KILAZA Possum, added a new ingredient to create Beak Lion Cancer, it was the entire god damn furry community at the time. A quote from him why the entire community is "Because they are the very gay and it is terrifying, and i am done having nightmares, so I burnt them in my mixing pot.

SALAMANDER INFUSED CANCER:[edit]

Salamander that endured so much cancer, it had enough

MORE BULLSHIT INFO:[edit]

Salamander Infused Cancer (SAL) is a salamander that has eaten an infect Beak Lion tail. The real question is how in the bloody hell do we know this? It is because we were drunk one night and had a Beak Lion with BLC and a salamander have deh sexeh teim. Our outcome was that the salamander ate the fucking tale of the god damn beak lion and received cancer. So now we have a fucking Salamander Infused Cancer and a Beak Lion Cancer, for fucks sake. The worst part is the "Infused" part. You have to digest a salamander with god damn cancer to get this shit. WHO EATS SALAMANDERS?!?!

SALAMANDERING REACTIONS:[edit]

The fellow salamanders were able do the weirdest shit because of cancer by enlarging themselves. Now we have salamanders stealing our women and impregnating them. We are losing to salamanders in children born, thanks Andrew ya dick. Their reaction are different from species, the different ones goes as follows.

  1. It turns into a Manatee and shits on peoples cars, houses, and even targets the mouth.
  2. LITERALLY SHIT BRICKS
  3. Transforms into Hitler and kills only the purple elephants
  4. Goes to your house and delivers a flaming pissed off wombat at your doorstep and leaves
  5. THEAFTING YOUR GOD DAMN INCOME TAX REFUND
  6. Throw glass bottles at people who look like Stalin
  7. Hacking your phone, loading it with shit, fucking blowing it up until the goddamn walls of your house fall down, and taking a piss on your charred corpse.
  8. crawl up a fellow salamanders asshole and shit constantly, leading the the salamander to inflate until combustion, and him find a new host
  9. MAKE A DIS TRACK OF EMINEM
  10. take a plank of wood from the titanic, hunt you down, and replace your left arm with it.

We guarantee it does more than just that, so if you see a salamander, run, it might have a cancer or worse........why are you still here? MOVE TO THE NEXT PARAGRAPH DAMN IT

JEWISH MERCHANTS:[edit]

Sweet Jesus Christ these damn merchant are so Jewish they already look half bernt. Jewish Merchants (JM) is a formula code for the mixture of Russian soil, Hitler's sperm, the LGBTQ+ communities' flag, and a photograph of a jew giving Hitler the succy succ. when you take JM and inject it into a salamander, it will, and i confirm, sell you jew-ash-cigars and jew-shit-chewing-tobacco. If you decline it's offer for whatever reason, it will jump on your face, and force it's entire stock into your mouth, then crawl through your ass, and begin to constantly shit itself until it fucking kills itself from it's own hairy-ass shit.

SUB-CATEGORIES OF CANCER:[edit]

(the result of any cancerous content within 10 meters of a sane human being, which is rare)

IF YOU DON'T WANT CANCER, LISTEN UP FUCKERS THIS IS IMPORTANT!!!

THE START OF THIS SHIT:[edit]

If you aren't a fucking idiot that believes Lady Gaga is your god damn wife, you know that cancer can infect other people and cause mass amounts of pain. We know so much, and yet so little about this damned nation. In total, 90% of the USA's population has

TIK-TOK:[edit]

The home to all sub-cancer species

To kick everything off, Tik-Tok is a platform where all the cancerous abominations reside and exchange acts. Most of it is lip syncing to a song, but it could be as bad as a dominant or submissive partner or even to the intensity of my first listed item. Now we enter, the sub-categories of cancer, that reside in Tik-Tok, so fuck off my paragraph you metal purple basket of donkey shit.

FURRIES:[edit]

This Furry will come to your house, shit in your air vents, and make your house smell like fecal matter

Furries are humans that think they are part animal for some god damn reason, and start acting like animals, dressing as animals, and even behave as animals. the action of a furry can go as follows

  • Shit or piss in their own mouths
  • devour people whole (Vore)
  • Do Tik-Toks to show off their furry costume
  • Either be Sexually submissive or dominant (no middle ground)
  • Make everyone believe that they are oppressed About 80-90% of the community is intertwined with the LQBTQ+ community. With most being gay or bisexual, and some cases being pansexual. It is rare to find a Straight furry, but usually they are submissive partners to an alpha-furry. THEY WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES FOR YOU TO JOIN THE CULT, EVEN BY FORCE. IF YOU ARE ATTACKED BY A FURRY, CALL THE POLICE! IF YOU DO NOT DO SO, YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED INTO THE CULT OR KILLED!

FACEBOOK MINION MEMES:[edit]

A minion meme posted by Facebook moms

Usually posted by Facebook mothers trying to stay "HIP" by creating memes with minion where the picture doesn't pertain to the text. The text could be the following...

  • GOD SENT YOU TO KILL ME (to the right)
  • Heil the Reich, Jews ain't right
  • If they have animal hair, send them to the electric chair
  • One time i had a dog, i shot it
  • I love cats, they go good for my bear food
  • I'm not like other girls, i have an extraordinary personality
  • If you want a whore, buy one, you want a queen, earn her.
  • I WANT YOU TO FUCK ME JERRY GOD DAMN IT

These are some of the following phrases in minion memes where the minion is stand either smiling, not giving a damn, looking like a woman, making a funny face, and more. The background is usually a bland and emotionless color with no detail or purpose to the image.These memes are usually atrocious, do not go searching for them, the image is the one with the weakest cancer, so you will do fine as long as you don't search for these damned minion memes if you want to have a healthy mental state.

Ethan Casity the Cube[edit]

He kicked a pregnant jew into a pond of highly non-intellect purple herpes-infested blob fish.

GOD OF CANCER[edit]

This little fucker has done so much crack he has become it, but replace crack with cancer. His very existence made Hitler kill himself and gave japan their suicide bombers. HELL, just looking at this menacing picture makes me want to take the bricks i already shit out and use them as weapons against the furry community...scratch that David already set them on fire, castrated them, molest them with his huge-ass iron ass, no meat ass katana, well FUCK YOU, AND THANK YOU. Continuing on with this shit. I witness him summon some purple-ass ghostly ass demon and beat the ever living shit out of his enemies. He isn't as powerful as he is today, all he could do several years ago is scream and turn men gay. His arsenal can very on situation, i will list the shit he has encountered, and for some fucking reason won, because FUCKING LOGIC!!

  • HE BITCH-SLAPPED JESUS INTO THE 16TH DIMENSION
  • 9/11 was him playing with toys
  • He was the atomic bomb dropped on Japan
  • Going against GOD HIMSELF, he grabbed his meaty ass, ripped all flesh in one pull, and had it for dinner (REASON WHY HE IS GOD OF CANCER, HE KILLED GOD AND MADE CANCER YOU STUPID SHIT!)

For recreational activities, he loves to scream like a deranged Holocaust victim, revive Hitler for him to endure a bat being anally penetrated with barbed wire, leading Hitler to anally bleed to death. I bet your dumb motha-fuckin lookin ass thinks that's all this failed abortion could do. You would be insulting the abortion clinic and their purpose, ya fucking dick wad.

His god damn presence makes all forms of cancer fear him, you think David had the power, he had to actually fucking kill them all. unlike David, Ethan's bear fucking existence is making every god damn shitty ass chunky ass cancer defecate themselves, vomit uncontrollably, and have hourly aneurysms until death. It is told that this faggot ass, wanna-be-emo lookin ass, caused Japan to create their "high tier art" If your so god damn autistic that you can't figure this out on your own you low velocity cancerous breeding faggot ass smelling E-boy, HE MADE JAPAN CREATE HENTAI.

FROM FAGGOTRY BEGINNINGS[edit]

His god damn rebirth in 3/1/1903, the reason of rebirth is because his dumb bubblegum lookin ass has...

  • assassinated Winston Churchill with a low velocity purple pig with rabies
  • beat the shit out of Joseph Stalin for delivering a burning yellow elephant in his yard
  • sunk the Titanic with nothing but soft taco shells made from deer shit
  • rode a beak lion into battle using nothing but David's Katana (let's say David was pissed to see his sword been robbed but happy to see it back with furry/gay blood on it)
  • killed Hitler by using mostly salamanders and two burning green squid.
  • SHOVED A FULL SIZED DOG INTO DONALD TRUMPS BELLY BUTTON
  • inflated George Washington until he exploded
  • used a mini-gun in a fucking duel
  • rode a horse into China and shit on everyone's food.

There is no way to explain all the things this bitchy ass r/niceguy has achieved in his existence, there is so much bullshit that you would receive 50 doses of Mesothelioma 25 doses of Type 2 diabetes, and a good healthy does of HEPA-HERPA-FUCK-YOU-ARUS, now that we god all of the fucking sissies out of my god damn article, let's go even deeper into what this man can achieve and has achieved. No, we are so not done, no where close to done.

ALL OF WW2[edit]

His Jewish ass, unicorn ass, Hitler ass musket using submarine desired to make the second world war his god damn fun house so because he exists then, he has caused...

  • all of France to have god damn seizures in the middle of the war
  • HIPPO GRENADES
  • problematic political machine guns, fires propaganda against your views
  • Hitler to do the Nae Nae on the enemies capital, and take a furious shit on the capitol.
  • donkey's to run into Japan with the case of hot ass diarrhea
  • Great Britain to crash their bombers into a random Tiger tank, while shitting
  • Japan to receive scoliosis infested bread along with jizzing in their noodles
  • anorexia to become contagious in China by using Jew-Ash-Made-Cigars
  • The battle of Normandy involve flying Hodgkin lymphoma nodular sclerosis infested Squids to orally penetrate their enemies (ink included)
  • Jews to be infested with Jaundice and turn to cannibalism
  • War Veterans to receive Alzheimer's for no god damn mother fucking reason.
  • CRISPY JEWS
  • Hitlers death and he default danced on his corpse

OUTSIDE OF WAR[edit]

His big hunky ass didn't stop at god damn war time, he continued his bullshit cancer reign even after the fucking wars. Hell, he was the one that fucking killed Franz Ferdinand, but it was with a table with barbed wire on in being orally shoved meretriciously into Franz's fucking throat. The other bullshit this man has achieve in the time period between world war one and world war two is astonishingly mind blowing, i would rather have a cactus leave its thorns in my fucking eyes than continue this shit, but yet i have a job to do to warn everyone about this god damn cancer god. So, he has...

  • Sunk a boat only using hyperventilating Jesus Christs
  • trolled the Germans by sending a package of beak lion shit, a bag of raccoon piss, and a star shaped package of Horse Vomit
  • Screamed like a fucking maniac at chickens and devours them whole.
  • DEFAULT DANCED ON A DEAD N*black person*R
  • Manipulated all of France to walk into Germany, take a shit on the border, and leave
  • Told America to go fuck themselves and gave them the great big sad.
  • convinced a beak lion to self destruct in the USSR
  • forced 30% of Poland to join the cult against the evil and deceiving beak lions
  • dropped a giant ass BeanBurritoTaco on Japan, all of Europe, and the United States.

After world war two his reign of terror intensified beyond horrors. At this point he will make the name God of Cancer, and actual thing not talking about the fucking disease.

(1955-1960)[edit]
  • Nae nae'd Hitler for 20 hours
  • used his magic ass keyboard to Ctrl+Alt+Delete+Logoff Joseph Stalin so he could feed his personal beak lion
  • Dropped a bomb full of Deer Shit on Paris France, and the next day used his SUPER LASER PISS on the whole of France,
  • Pissed on Winston Churchill's wife for hitting him with a paper airplane saying "You have aids, lol"
  • SET VIETNAM ON FIRE
  • Castrated a gay jew at a bar for groping his no no square
  • GAVE A MAN SALAMANDER AIDS
  • Used a low velocity squid launcher to liberate Africa
  • CHALLENGE PISSING
  • will only sell used condoms
(1960-1980)[edit]
  • Threw a car at a building, which the result the car catapulting off the building and molested every fucking vehicle on the golden gate bridge
  • CREATED HORSE COCK STD'S
  • won a NASCAR race driving sideways and rotating to the right at exactly 12.32 miles an hour constantly
  • HE PISSED ON THE FUCKING MOON
  • Convinced Steve Jobs to play with his food and to call the company his favorite fruit.
  • Went on Mars so he could put a fucking burrito on it
  • Kicked a Satellite out of orbit and gave them the option of only cannibalism to survive before returning into orbit
(1980-2000)[edit]
  • Had Muslim Goth Chick run into the streets on shit on peoples vehicles
  • Gave Ronald Reagan a birthday present of the on the go version of CHALLENGE PISSING
  • used his magic keyboard to Ctrl+Alt+Delete+shutdown John F. Kennedy, and wasn't punished for it, but had a beak lion maul his face.
  • Went to Vietnam and lure them out with RED ROBBINS......Yummmmm *BANG!*

The end of his cancerous reign[edit]

On thee way with a plane to drop 20 gallons of Bullfrog piss, another plane saw the giant sized sack of piss, and yelled ALLAH AKBAR, and crashed the plane into the sack of piss. Then leading to the plane wrapping itself around the back and Ethan, the fucking cube ass mother fucker he is, piloting the other plane, both planes went boom boom. Welp, now all he does is casual trolling shit, nothing too bizarre, it's not like he is going to posses a stand the can stop time.....or....nah, impossib- *ZA WARUDO*