Air India Flight 171
For an example of how to be offensive, see: AIDS Popsicles
 Tail of the aircraft trying to enroll at med school. | |
| Unintentional building insertion | |
|---|---|
| Date | 12 June 2025 |
| Summary | Dual engine "nap time" leads to surprise crash into a college dorm. One guy survives and immediately regrets it. |
| Site | Totally Not a Runway, Ahmedabad, India |
| Aircraft | |
| Aircraft type | Boeing 787-8 "Daydreamliner" |
| Operator | Air India (Tagline: "We fly... usually.") |
| Registration | VT-ANB (Very Tired - Already Not Bothering) |
| Flight origin | Ahmedabad Airport |
| Destination | London Gatwick Airport (mission: failed) |
| Passengers | 230 (most expected legroom, got legacy instead) |
| Crew | 12 (who did their best in a flying brick) |
| Fatalities | 241 |
| Injuries | 1 (overachiever) |
| Ground casualties | |
| Ground fatalities | 19 (because why not take out a dorm too) |
| Ground injuries | 67 (and now they’re late for class) |
Air India Flight 171 was a routine passenger flight that spontaneously decided to become a fireworks show over a hospital college. Taking off on 12 June 2025 from Ahmedabad, the plane yeeted itself into a building less than a minute into the flight, breaking records for "least committed international journey."
The aircraft, a Boeing 787-8 Dreamliner (aka Boeing’s middle child), had dreams of London but instead achieved the rare aviation feat of converting altitude into chaos in under 40 seconds. The plane’s engines went from “let’s go” to “no” thanks to fuel switches that decided to take a break.
Premature Takeoff[edit | edit source]
Everything was going fine until it wasn’t. The plane pushed back fashionably late at 13:13 IST (bad omen?), took off at 13:37 (double bad omen), and by 13:37:32 had lost both engines because someone in the cockpit allegedly "didn't touch anything." The aircraft entered a nosedive, tried a quick "oops recovery," and ended its short-lived career as a dormitory invader.
Narendra Modi, upon inspecting the wreckage, reportedly muttered, "This wasn't the Make in India I had in mind."
The Survivor (singular)[edit | edit source]
Out of 242 people on board, one passenger survived by sitting next to the emergency exit, pure plot armor, and possibly divine scheduling. His brother, tragically, was three rows behind in economy, where miracles don't happen.
Doctors say he was “disoriented but mostly annoyed.” He left the hospital after five days and immediately sued Air India for emotional trauma and “aggressive defenestration.”
Aftermath[edit | edit source]
The crash prompted the activation of approximately every emergency service in India, plus one confused railway team who thought they were there for a derailment. Firefighters arrived with water, hoses, and blank stares. The National Disaster Response Force, Army, Air Force, Navy, and the guy who runs the chai stall nearby all showed up.
The airport closed for several hours. Flights were delayed, chai sales soared, and one pigeon was quoted saying, “I told them this place was overcrowded.”
The Investigation[edit | edit source]
The AAIB (Aircraft Accident Investigation Bureau, not the Alcoholics Anonymous Investigation Bureau) launched an inquiry. Findings revealed that both engines shut down because the **fuel switches moved to CUTOFF mid-flight**, either by accident, sabotage, or the plane having a sudden existential crisis.
Air India claimed it "wasn’t aware" of the FAA's bulletin about the fuel switch lock problem, much like your uncle who “forgot” to pay taxes for seven years.
The black boxes were found 28 hours later, chilling on someone’s roof, possibly enjoying the view. Cockpit audio featured the pilots going:
> Pilot 1: "Why did the fuel cut?" > Pilot 2: "I dunno. Did you touch it?" > Pilot 1: "No. Did *you* touch it?" > Plane: *crash noises*
Fun Facts (because we need something fun here)[edit | edit source]
- First-ever crash of a 787 that didn’t involve a battery catching fire. Progress?
- The survivor now refuses to sit anywhere other than emergency exits. Or planes.
- The Boeing 787 is now nicknamed "Dreamliner" ironically.
- Conspiracy theories suggest the fuel switches were haunted by the ghost of a disgruntled air traffic controller.
See Also[edit | edit source]
- List of aircraft that tried yoga poses mid-air
- Uncyclopedia:Guide to surviving plane crashes (Step 1: Don’t fly)
- Air India Flight 182 – when explosions were in vogue.
- Fuel switches and the mysteries of the universe