AT&T
 Goddamn it! Is this fucking thing even on? | |
| Founded | March 3, 1885 |
|---|---|
| Headquarters | Dallas, Texas, USA |
| Founder(s) | Alexander Graham Bell Gradiner Greene Hubbard Thomas Sanders |
| Key people | Pilot of an AT-AT Walker (CEO) Phone addict who texts all day, everyday (chairperson) |
| Industry | Phone-dropping |
| Products | Phone sex, prank-calling, deadzones |
| URL | Official Fake |
Awful Telephone & Telegraph Inc., often acronymized as AT&T due to it being freaking impossible to type out long words on the company's stupid phones, is an American multinational telecommunications corporation headquartered in Whitacre Tower, Dallas, Texas, United States. The company has also ... What? Shit. Is I don't think the readers can hear me, Margie. Well I know that, obviously! Hello? Hello? Can you hear me? I think it dropped my call. Dag gommit, it did! It dropped my fucking call! I am, it's ringing! IT'S FUCKING RINGING, MARGIE!
Alright, hello? Can you hear me? Great! Anyway, as I was saying, AT&T has also ... what the fuck?! It dropped my call again! Fucking AT&T! AT&T is worst.
*Ring ring ring*[edit | edit source]
Hello? Can you hear me? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now?
Shit! I don't think they can hear me Margie!
That's it![edit | edit source]
Get out the fucking phone book, Margie! Because I'm gonna call costumer service, that's why! I don't care how out of date our phone book is, Margie, just get it out! And who's fault is that? Who's job is it to call for new phone books in this house? I'll give you a hint, it's not mine. That's right, Margie, it's yours. How are you supposed to call without an up-to-date phone book? I don't know, maybe use the neighbor's or something. They're not serial killers, Margie, they're nice people. No there is no smell coming from their back yard! It's all in your head, Margie, ya old bat! And what does that have do do with anything? JUST GET ME THAT DAMN PHONEBOOK! Thank you.
Now, where is it? A ... Ab ... Ae ... Aj ... Ao ... Ah! At. Now ... AT&T ... AT&T ... ah! AT&T! Goddamn it! There's ten fucking numbers here! Which one? ... Here we go, tech support, that'll do. 1‑800 ...
It's ringing, Margie! Get off my back!
What? Hello? Yeah, I'd like to ... hey, are you a machine? Hello? You are, aren't you? Yes I wanna talk you a representative! Damn right I said that! Shit, it put me on hold, Margie.
Fifteen minutes later ...[edit | edit source]
Hello? Yes! Thank God! You know I've been on hold for fucking ever? After I'm done filing this complaint, I'll file one for that. What? No! Don't put me on ... fuck.
Twenty more minutes pass ...[edit | edit source]
Hello? Yes, I'm trying to file a complaint. Is this the right place to do that? Finally! You know I've ... Hello? IT DROPPED MY FUCKING CALL! SHUP UP, BITCH! DON'T TELL ME TO STOP YELLING ALL OVER THE PLACE! What? What do you mean you're getting out your ... Oh my God! Don't point that thing ...
Bang!
You shot me! I can't believe you shot me! I gotta get the phone, get the fucking phone. Gotta call nine one one. What? STAY AWAY FROM ME YOU CRAZY WHORE! It was just working a second ago! I have no bars? WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEA-
Bang!
Last time he calls me a whore. Asshole. Good thing he didn't have Verizon.