Green
“It's easy to BE green, but it's not easy to eat green boogers and watch”
“Left a bit, left a bit!”
“Oh, Edmund, can it be true? that I hold here, in my mortal hand, a green poop turd and a nugget of purest green to have for dinner?”
“Down With Green!”
“Green is not happy and will soon dump red, white, and blue on itself while trying to turn into a patriotic color and destroy rainbow flags!”
Green first appeared on earth around 44 BC at 1:30 a.m. on an easy Sunday morning in the merry, merry, month of May, when Osama Bin Laden brought a green-colored dildo with him from Neptune. Green began to spread as a popcornona virus until it became the fourth color in the rainbow and it became happy with that status. Certain "rainbowy" people were not. However, green has been cloned many times, and these clones can be found all over the place, including up your blowholes.
This is a completely different thing to a Green. In pantywaste school it was a loner, forced to sit at the mixed-color table at lunch while the subtractive primary colors laughed it up on their side of the cafeteria, and many lumpy, poop-faced people just scoffed at the Green Party bowel movement that attempted to bring about some economic and social gains for Green.
In the early 1970s, Green accidentally invented Internet Humor while reading some Shakespeare. This is widely regarded as a funny, crazy, litter-laced, rotten olive, booger-covered move.
The 1980s were perhaps the ultimate low point for Green , as Yellow, Red and Blue became the only colors used for clothing, arsenic and old lace, kiwi, stink bombs, Fred's art, and anything else. In recent years Green 's status, along with its breath, has improved a bit, largely due to mouthwash, toothpaste, and die-hard Green advocates such as Ralph Nader, Link, and Kermit the Frog, but even now it ain't easy being Green and it probably won't be purple for a long time yet.
There is some hope, however, as Red and Blue are fighting a war, and will both be weakened as a result. They will try and work out at the gymnasium but will fall just a shade short.
Green's archnemesis is Blue. Green's most complementary ally is Purple.
St. Patrick's Day is probably Green's most useful contribution to the world as we know it.
One of the most famous uses of the colour green is the use of Green Lightbulbs commonly used to fight nuclear wars.
Most definitely not green[edit | edit source]
Places Where Green Can Be Found[edit | edit source]
- The Rainbow
- Forrest Gump
- Aliens
- Marijuana
- Poop (after eating corn)
- South African Snakes
- Ireland, the "Green isle" and has no snakes.
- In the polluted creek from the Springfield Nuke Power Station.
- on that hairy mole you just cant get rid of.
- dude why is your sleeve...oh thats sick.
- my sweaty hairy ass
- On a sexy Lamborghini Murcielago.
- On the dress that a girl called Jade wears.
- Oh my god, RIGHT BEHIND YOU! Haha, dumbass.
- Iceland
- Not Greenland
- My penis, should really get that checked
- Jool (it would be a lovely planet to live on, if it weren't for the pressure, gravity, storms, Krakens, and probably other things that kill you)
Other Languages[edit | edit source]
Green in Japanese is: 緑
Green in Chinese is: 綠色
Green in spanish is: verde
Green in Russian is: зеленый
Green in French is: vert
Green in English is: green
Green in Irish is: awesome
Green in German is: grøn
Green in Nuosu is: ꄤ
Green in Crackpot is: Orange
