West Bank

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A luxury neighborhood in the city of Ramallah

The West Bank is an autonomous place between Israel and Jordan, and used as a big safe box for the Israeli soldiers to put their money in. that's why it's called a "bank", and is also known by the huge number of Arabs that live in it, but nobody cares about that.

History[edit | edit source]

The days of King David[edit | edit source]

The history of the so called "West Bank" begins, with the birth of King David in the holy city of Umm al-Gore. Young David, Son of two Palestinian fathers and a goat as a mother, was chosen by God to serve as King of the people of Israel. That's how David ran into local politics at the age of five, and won the Mamluk finance ministry when he received ten electors in the election.

As the Minister of Finance, David tried to find a solution to the biggest problem of the Land of Israel - Arabs. Therefore, he found that the best way to solve the problem was to house the Arabs in a remote and unimportant place where they could live without disturbing Israelis. The perfect place was the West Bank. He ordered all the Arabs to be transferred to the West Bank.

The First Intifada[edit | edit source]

The years passed, and King David was replaced by his successor, Benjamin Netanyahu. He neglected the Arabs who were in the West Bank, which led them to convene the first Palestinian Congress. The main purpose of the Congress was to bring all the Palestinian elders together to find a logical and calculated solution to the problem, and at the same time reach a compromise with Israel that would benefit both parties. But, the health situation in the West Bank was really bad and all of the old people got infected by the Covid 19 and died. Then a second congress was set up which basically consisted of high school children in the West Bank who were busy throwing papers at each other. Of course, they made the most sensible decision - to throw stones at armed soldiers.

That is how the First Intifada started. For quite some time, the Palestinian boys continued to throw stones at Israeli cars in the hope that it would make Israel treat them better, which makes perfect sense because who does not treat people who throw stones at you nicely? However, Israel did not like being thrown stones at, so the Jews decided to put up a large fence around Judea and Samaria. And no, they are not the oldest from Trump they were before.

The Turtles' armed militia

The Turtle Terrorism[edit | edit source]

In 2006, the most magical horribly epic year, the Israeli army decided to come with a greeting of peace. The Israeli government has imported a number of very cute turtles that will be used as common pets in the West Bank, as it is empty of animals except for goats and women. At first, the Palestinians were happy about the turtles and let them eat the closest thing to lettuce in the area - hyssop. The hyssop caused the turtles to evolve evolutionarily at tremendous speed, and overnight the turtles became an extremist Islamic armed militia. The turtles banded together, collected weapons, raped a goat and hurried to change their name to Fatah - the organization for the liberation of Palestinian turtles. The turtles led a regime of terror in the West Bank, which continues to this day.

Because the turtles have to eat hyssop in order to control, they oppress the Palestinian citizens and force them to bring hyssop as taxes. In 2010 the turtles were declared an invasive species and in 2012 were declared by the United Nations as a terrorist organization. Therefore, any participation in the abominable tortoise organization is against the law. Turtle rule will only end when the hyssop in the West Bank runs out and then the turtles will return to being strange animals that move slowly.

Where are we going?[edit | edit source]

As of today, the West Bank is still controlled by the armed turtle forces. The turtles brought as pets have become cruel rulers, and they are terrorizing Palestinian civilians. Please, if you see a turtle hitting workers maybe Arabs maybe just Indians, remember that there is a chance that this turtle is breaking the law!