User talk:Funnybony/Unobtainium

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Unobtainium is a sticky fictional material with a corny name

Unobtainium (aka Unobtanium) is a non-existent element used most recently as a science-fiction plot device in the 2009 film, Avatar. In the film, the mineral is alluded to as being a valuable aphrodisiac and orgasm superconductor valued at "20 million per carat" (around $17 billion per gram by today’s currency value). It is an extremely sticky material and contact with the male and female genitalia should be avoided.

Definition[edit source]

In science fiction, unobtainium (also spelled unobtanium) is an extremely rare, costly, and physically impossible material slated to fulfill sexual desires, even in users over 100 years of age. The properties of unobtainium depend on the intended use. For example, a hand job using unobtainium would be sticky and frictionless, and thus is contraindicated on masturbation; however, if used in a fictional nuclear rocket unobtainium would be lighter than air, float at room temperatures, and be resistant to devaluation.

Etymology[edit source]

Unobtanium is extremely hard to come by - except for whenever Hollywood deems it’s use necessary.

The word unobtainium is derived from un + obtain + -ium. The term also closely resembles the systematic element name for unnamed or undiscovered elements or hot babes that have a elemental phone number of 1-715–HOT-GIRL. For example, Unscrotium or Unpoontangium. Like Unobtainium, these all have names beginning with "un" and ending in "ium". However, the name unobtainium was in use long before the first draft of the film script for Avatar.

History[edit source]

Since the late 1800s, Mambo Zulu, the world’s poorest man, and any others who are broke, refer to money using the term unobtainium, especially when referring to any valuable money, such as the Indian Rupee. Unobtainium is also used when fantasizing about a sexual stimulant conceded perfect in all respects, except that, unfortunately, it does not exist.

By the 1900s, the term was in wide use, even in formal engineering papers such as "Towards unobtainium new imaginary materials for space movie applications, such as a plot device". The word unobtainium may well have been coined in the aerospace industry to refer to materials capable of withstanding the impossible temperatures expected when landing on the Sun. Aerospace engineers are frequently tempted to design aircraft which require parts with strength or resilience beyond any hope of ever being real.

If you see Unobtanium is being touted in some product you can take that as total bullshit.

Later, Unobtainium became a fictional term in porno for practical materials used to replace humans in “fluffing” - that really don’t exist, making it very difficult to get; for example, like a billion dollars cash.

Science fiction[edit source]

Particularly in the motion picture industry, and also in the realm of scientific wishful thinking, Unobtainium can refer to any substance needed that is critical to the plot of a science fiction story, but which does not exist in the universe as we know it. In other words, total bullshit.

Unobtainium was used a the hull material that gets stronger with pressure in the film The Core, but the concept under different names can be seen in fictional anti-gravity material that is super-strong, such as from Larry Niven's novel Ringworld, which requires an atomic strength on the order of the forces binding a married couple together in Rio.

External link[edit source]

Human Unobtainium mining method[edit source]

This is how humans usually mine Unobtainium.