User talk:Bias

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Welcome![edit source]

Hello, Bias, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:

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At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express your creativity. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, User:Bias/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well.

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If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. Again, welcome!  -- Littleboyonly.jpg TKFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFUJewriken.GIFCK Oldmanonly.jpg 00:27, September 1, 2010 (UTC)

SPAM![edit source]

Spam3.jpg

Congratulations, Bias! You have won some Spam! Coincidently, you are the first in history to win some spam from the Spam Man! Doesn't that make you happy? Spamsig.jpg

UnNews:"Unbeachable" Titanic II beaches soon after leaving port[edit source]

Thank you for your UnNews! I have given it the 1-spot on the Front Page on the strength of the illustration and the concept, after shortening the title and removing the Initial Capitals as is UnNews style. Hope you will agree that the article is not yet done:

  • It doesn't quite read like news; although I created a slightly tightened-up lead paragraph for the feature graphic, a real news story needs, in the first paragraph, to tell the reader what the bleep happened. It is utterly unimportant that you learn how to write "real" news stories, but it's helpful to the UnNews con that the story superficially look like something you might encounter in a legitimate news service.
  • I personally don't think the mere mention of notorious Republicans (or Democrats) is a laugh riot, unless you can contrive a story that makes it funny. In short, you are relying too much on memes.
  • The Sources section lets the reader see the story on which you based your demented un-story. In your case, there is none, so we'd typically just use the {{Original}} template.

So: Not based on news, doesn't read like news, but you still got the 1-spot. You are lucky there is no one left at UnNews. So am I; it's all that lets me make the featuring decision! See you 'round. Spıke ¬ 23:30 27-Sep-10

UnNews:Lady GaGa and Goo Goo Dolls team up for world tour[edit source]

Another article in the 1-Spot. I've done some nit-picky editing (please don't double-space between paragraphs) and nominated it on VFH. The lead paragraph doesn't read like a lead, but I don't mind. But I do recommend that, in the next to last paragraph, you don't wrestle with speculation but just state the facts. Spıke ¬ 12:24 4-Mar-11

UnNews:Rebecca Black sees empty seats at stadium, dies[edit source]

I shortened the headline, as shown above, as headlines don't need to include the coroner's report. Also turned around your lead paragraph, as it stated conclusions for the reader and misused the word "infamous." Cheers. Spıke ¬ 01:04 29-Mar-11