User:Zwaf/Eindhoven University of Technology

This appears to be vanity.

It does, however, have to potential to be funny. Please edit  it until it is, or it shall die a terribly lonely death. If this page is not fixed in 30 days, it may become a candidate for deletion.

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The TU/e (Dutch pronunciation: sTay-A-Way) is a subsidized concentration camp situated in the city of Eindhoven, The Netherlands. It offers room for about 7000 scientists from all areas of the country. The strip of land on which the camp was build measures about 10 squared kilometers and contains 16 buildings.

Its famous motto: Rectus agitat Molem or The rectum moves matter can be read on a sign at the entrance of the complex.

History

A good example of an extremely underfed male specie living within. Notice the uranium/deuterium drink that keeps him alive.

When German occupation was brought to end in 1815, the Germans left the country, but not without leaving their marks. One of these marks was the creation of a nuclear facility in the very heart of the Netherlands. When liberating forces discovered this facility they found several thousand highly educated rocketscientists. The main project was the construction of a photonic missile, a warhead with a huge light bulb on its top. The project was under the direction of a specially founded corporation called 'Philips'. Due to a futuristic defense system created by the scientists and the Germans, Allied Forces were not able to cease control of the area. To this very day, there have been no reports of anyone trespassing the campus perimeter. Very little is known about current activities but recent satellite imaging might reveal more soon.

No one has yet managed to penetrate the futuristic shields of the TUE.

Together with the complex, the Germans built a railway station very close to it. The railway station is a huge hub in the railway network in the Netherlands. Every day scientists disembark at the station after having been deported from northern or southern areas of the country.

The station and complex are connected via a path, better known as the Limbo-Path. Etymology claims it's derived from 'path-of-the-limbless', since Germans used to chop of limbs before letting scientists in. They would sit down on chairs all day anyway and no one should be able escape, so removing legs and arms really proved to be the final solution.

The Scientists

Not much is known about these creatures. What we do know is that they live in other parts of the country and travel to the facility every day and that most of them have no limbs, thus resulting in having no life. Most of them are extremely underfed and wear masks to avoid recognizing by relatives. Clothing is also not listed as a necessary item. Concerning the percentage of girls and boys; about 80% is man and just 19% female (and 1% Rational Rodent, a kind of mammal) but these numbers can not be confirmed since it's very hard to distinguish men from female here.

Policy

Banned Food: Burgers without meat are not allowed on campus

Most scientists die young...

Scientists and staff are bound to strict orders and rules. For example; you are not allowed to eat or digest food whilst inside the main buildings (hence the fact most of the studen.. scientists are underfed). Sleeping is only allowed in one of the designated SpaceBoxes [[1]], students (did I say students? I meant scientists) often live in these cramped spaces where they get molested by professors on a daily basis. Friendships or contact (with the other sex) are also prohibited. Sexual relationships result in death-penalty most of the time, but most of the scientists do not take practise in it anyway. Several factors might be responsible:

1. - The other person can not be externally identified as either male or female.
2. - Sex is either considered a forfeit or a waste of time (time that could also be spent on LEARNING!)
3. - Thanks to research, the theory of evolution might have proved incorrect on the TUE, thus having babies no longer has any use.

Scientists at the TUE should not be confused with Mormons, Mormons ride tricycles.

List of professors and führe.. officers at the complex

Electrotechnical Faculty:

H.J.M. Otten aka 'Otter'

Motorosca aka 'Spàning'

X. Corporaal aka Corporal Corporal

X. Pelikaan aka Pelikaan

(in case you are a scientist at the complex, please add some to this list, since outsiders haven't got much information about what or whom is inside.)

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