User:Vosnul/Honorary decorations for fucktarts

"Problems" is an understatement to describe what is wrong with this guy.

“You just can not run around calling people typists.”

~ Pondermatic on typists

On the right you see a picture depicting a young man that has been badged many times. More times , in fact, then any other sob, lunatic, lazy fat ass or drunk in history. He still holds the record for most decoration within this order and will likely and hopefully remain so for the foreseeable future. The decoration, in not particular order state that this person is highly renowned as a (*1) Badge less badge-holder with many badges, A raging alcoholic who can not hold his liquor, Goatse poster, Homosexual killer, typist, Clueless exclaimer of WTF!, Complicated Mountain climber and stock trade analyst, Bat fuck insane scifi watching couch potato, Follower of hale Selassie and the teachings of Rastafarian's, a user of small words and holder of live long ambition to be crucified on a hill FOUR TIMES OVER. He also own an ipod but never fully recharges the battery and thinks he is (*2) napoleon.

*1 Normally the no badge badge is reserved for people without badges, but in his case it you complete the collection so he was awarded it anyway

*2 To think you are napoleon is not a very original skill and therefor no badge is awarded for this.

History and use of badges within this class

Throughout history to indicate faulty behaviour in people wast mostly done verbally.

• You lazy free loading son of a bitch.
• Goddamn lunatic ass hat.
• die, you insane piece of shit motherfucker.
• Hope they lock you up bloody psycho stock trading typist.

But in time the complicated methods used to define certain pariah type of people in society just became to cumbersome. Not to mention the chaos and unlawfulness that came about from running around and calling people typists all day. It were great minds of there age, people like User:Pondermatic who realized that verbally or textually identifying sock trading motherfuckers has to change. And not only the way at which we communicate with Lunatic bat fuck insane madmen, but also the way we look at the very nature of there being.

Instead of defining a Lazy drunken bastard as a bad thing, we should celebrate him or her and decorate that person for his or hers uniqueness. By this concept it was that the Decorative badges for this order and class came to be.

Most notable badges within this class

First degree honorary badges, slobs and S.O.B.s

For all the Drunks, winos, junkies, tramps , beggars these decorative badges indicate there level of success within there respective fields. Be not fooled by what skill is celebrated here, It surely is not a trivial feat to obtain such a high salutation. For instance, merely being drunk all the time from sipping chardonnay or Christal does not automatically qualify you for any of these badges, That simple makes you a pompous ass-hat without anything useful to do.

No badges badge A badge indicating this individual does not have any special skills.
Beer badge Decoration of awknowledgement that is person is a drunk and is okay with it.
Vomit badge This slob drinks to much but can not hold it in for very long.

Second degree honorary badges, Fat asses, lazy free loaders and welfare mongers

These decorations are meant for the people who, if you invite them for popcorn and a movie, they stay a forth night. The couch potatoes, lamers, lazy fat unemployed under educated scum that suck the economy dry with welfare applications and bogus medical and/or mental problems. Those folks get the honour of these applicable badges of lesser merit ( or merit to a lesser extent ( but in reality , no merit for what ever at all ))

light entertainment badge Celebrates this persons unwillingness to get of the couch and do something
Starwars badge Not only does this person watch TV all day long, he only watches SciFi.
Clueless badge Reserved for 40 year olds living in there fathers basement.

Third degree honorary badges, Absolute lunatic motherfuckers

For your safety you might want to steer clear of types who wear these decorative symbols of absolute lunacy. Chances are that very unpleasant thing could happen to you whilst being in there company. The horror could be mild, like getting the image of a guy tearing open his asshole burned upon your retina or having to read bat fuck insanity on uncyclopedia. But these people could also , just for kicks, Kill you skin you cook you and eat you. Consider yourself warned.

Complicated badge Nothing this person says makes any sense, but they sure talks a lot, Rejoice !.
Batfuck badge Awarded to bat fuck insane people, whatever that means.
Goatse badge This person shock posted at least 50 links to goatse and still thinks its a novel joke.
Killer badge Be aware, the holder of this badge has killed and will probably kill again.

fourth degree honorary badges, Badges that make no sense at all

Stock trade analysts badge Wearing this indicates that you acctually enjoy economics and stock and option trading.
mountain climbing badge Awarded to people who, for a hobby, climb mountain for fun.
Typist badge After 50 years of typist service without a raise of anykind you may be blessed by this fabulous decoration.
Rasta badge Honorary rastafari badge awarded for merit in the eye's of Sellassie, or for passing around the gandja.
Crusefix badge Glorifies the fact that this individual does not see a problem with the fact that a torture device is the symbol for his believes.

Badges not shown for a variety of reasons

• Pizza guild badge - For outstanding pizza making and or eating
• I'd not care about your mental health, you are still a motherfucking cocksucker badge - ( to rude to display )
• Shoot yourself in the foot badge - not shown for it does not really exist
• Made a great article on ED badge - Does exist , but such a event has not and is not very likely to occur