User:Unknown user/Why?:Stick Things in the Microwave
Hey kids! Wanna try something fun? Take that fork out of the outlet and put it in your microwave! So now what? C'mon, turn it on! No? Why not? It's not nearly as dangerous as putting your thing in the outlet. It'll be fun... Still no? Lets read on.
Everyones Doing it![edit | edit source]
Give in to peer pressure! Theres nothing more fun than the satisfying sizzle a CD makes when you leave it in the microwave. Your friend John does it daily. What, you don't have a friend John? Then whoever! No friends? I'm your friend, you can trust me! Your friends are all probably doing it anyway, aside from huffing kittens and editing Uncyclopedia, which you should do too. So give in to your friends societal demands, and put something in! No? Still no? Lets see what fun you are missing.
The Microwave[edit | edit source]
A microwave is not only an essential tool for cooking microwave pizza and defrosting meat, but a test chamber for your wildest experiments. The microwave is unique in the kitchen for it is the only quality source of high level electromagnetic radiation, other than that funky glowing meatloaf still hanging out in the back of the fridge you meant to throw out, but haven't gotten around to it.
What To Do[edit | edit source]
What to do, what to do...How bout' what not to do! First, let's start off basic, like cooking some food, like this here day old slice of pizza. Put it in, and set the timer for one minute.... DING! Ok, so now what? It's done and you can eat it too. But imagine what else you can do with that box of wonders on the counter...
"Reheat" Pizza[edit | edit source]
Take a second slice. This time, instead of putting it in for one minute, put it in for a whole hour. So now what? Go off and huff some kittens and edit some Uncyclopedia, of course! Come back in an hour and check on the pizza. You did set it for an hour, right? What do you mean you set it for 60 hours?!? Wow, lets fix that. Lets see what happened... that was a pizza right?
Scientific Studies[edit | edit source]
The following experiment was conducted by the very same physicists from MIT that explored outlets. After discovering how resistant hamsters were, one wanted to see what would happen if they were exposed to electromagnetic radiation of the