User:Underworld Flame

Introduction

"I knew from the very moment Jazz began, the battles for rights and conquest would soon follow."

  ~Sauron on War of the Bands.

"Happiness is a warm gun... or sexyphone!"

  ~Leonardo de Caprio on War of the Bands.

These legendary battles and revolts have been raging ever since 1256, when Jazz music first began. Death and carnage was not uncommon, in fact, it was open warfare, thousands of communist choir members were murdered. The reason for this is still not known, except for a letter left behind from Mr. T, which stated: "For every communist you kill, one less queer {choir member} is left polluting this precious planet. I pity the fools..." This conflict resulted in the beginning of World War III.

The first battle between bands. In this tragic battle, over 2 people died. The more important of these deceased people was Atilla the Hun. The names of these groups is only known to the Free Masons and the Government Specialists Federal Agency.

History

When Jazz was started by George Bush's great great great great great grandfather, Charles Darwin, a Band Geek Revolutionary named Jimmy Jazz Smiley, whose decendant, ironically, is the current Band Geek Revolutionary called Commander Smiley, started a violent revolt against the new forces trying to take over the fair city of Middle Earth.

However, the revolutionaries failed to stop the government from dominating over the Imperialist Powers. Jimmy Jazz Smiley was captured and killed. After the execution by poison gas, which was followed by a salting and burning of the body, the United States Military marched throughout the fair city of Bonneville.

On the day of June 13, 1567, Bonneville was renamed as Draper, by Miss Draper, who later joined the GSFA. Only weeks after Miss Draper joined and fought with the GSFA, the Band geeks specialists under the Federal Agencies of the government, had managed to take over the entire Western Hemisphere, united under the control of Miss Draper, the great granddaughter of Jimmy Jazz Smiley. It was not to be, however. Miss Draper was swimming in the ocean just outside of Draper, Utah, and was devoured by sharks.

Present Day: 2007

The well reknowned Band Geek Revoulutionary Commander Smiley had always known he was meant for something incredible, amazing, as it would be. But he never imagined that he, the decendant of Jimmy Jazz Smiley, would lead the Band Geeks to power and unite them throughout the world. With his friend Admiral Forrest at his side, he helped the scattered remnants of his fellow descendants to start World War III.

World War III

Led by the brilliant Tactician Commander Smiley, erupted and almost immediately took control of the United States. Using Hitler's Blitzkrieg strategy as a start, he took over South America, Canada, and Russia. Europe served as problem, as they had nuclear weapons, and then decided to start chemical warfare.

It is true that the communist choir members joined World War III, but they were immediately crushed by Forrest's piccolo section. With the piccolos so out of tune, the communists immediately had strong convulsions, and died.

During the war, Commander Smiley and Admiral Forrest got in a civilized arguement, in which they finished by biting their thumbs at eachother and taking the other's wife. Soon after the fight, Commander Smiley quickly took over Europe, and Admiral Forrest took over Africa and the rest of the Eastern Hemisphere. The world was united as a Band Empire.

The Aftermath

There were over 1.68 billion lives lost during World War III, even though it lasted for only four days. It was complete world wide peace for a few weeks, but jealousy of Smiley's bitter arguement, and switching of wives, with Forrest remained.

Those who believed Admiral Forrest was the true leader of the world declared war on the followers of Commander Smiley. The world erupted into the largest Civil War ever to be witnessed on the Earth. Smiley left one message for the rebels and their new leader: "I am Commander Smiley, who has either led you or conquered you. Now, you shall assimilate to the ways of Anarchy, or die. Resistance is futile."

A Second Aftermath

Chemical Warfare, though previously banned, started the war off. In a series of battles in the Mediterranean Sea, which was Smiley's buffer to slow down the invasion from the rebels.

Plagues spread rapidly across the Earth, killing millions as it passed through. The rebels, unable to even get through a simple buffer, came to a slow realization that there were two options. Go down in flames, or assimilate.

Forrest too realized the options, and, though Smiley's forces had lost more units of men and resources than his, surrendered.

The Final Aftermath

Still upset over the rebellion and the changing of wives, Smiley waited, biding his time as he kept check on everyone that followed, believed in, or had sympathies for Forrest. After several years of peace and tranquility, he launched a massive purging of the Earth of its "rebellious" inhabitants.

After the purging, many were disgusted by the vile act. When the world of Anarchy fell apart, new nations were created, and everyone seperated into their areas.

"Somehow, one way or the other, history has a way of repeating itself"

  ~Richard Nixon in an attempted pleading for insanity to the Court following the infamous LemonadeGate Scandal.