User:Tompkins/International Pat on the Back Day
The International Slap on the Back Day is the only day of the year in which Earth's entire population is encouraged to give one another a swift slap on the back. It is held on the third Wednesday of Lent every year, and s you can imagine the day is heralded by most everyone that takes part, Christian or not. It really makes everyone feel rather well about themselves. Although the International Slap on the Back Day has been around for years, it wasn't until just recently that it was made an official international holiday.
A ceremony was held for the commencement of the International Slap on the Back Day during which it was to become an official holiday. Not only was the ceremony attended by leaders from 192 different countries, it was also estimated that during the ceremony nearly 50,000 slaps on the back were shared between the attendees.
From that day on, the International Slap on the Back Day has been a great success! Often times the holiday comes during the middle of a massive war, and the soldiers involved declare a cease fire and then slap enemy combatants for the entire day. The International Slap on the Back Day has also inspired several movies, some of which have gone on to win major cinematography awards.
Though all of these things are great, nothing can compare to the feeling everyone gets when an anonymous stranger comes up and slaps you on the back. It is a feeling that rivals nearly every other feeling you've ever experienced, and is often described as being better than sex. In fact, for a brief period in the ninetys, there was a form of sex called slap sex, or slapex in slang terms.
The holiday originated in Italy around the year 658 A.D. when Pope Vader the first decreed it a Holy Day. It was in honor of his favorite passage in the Bible that had been read to him by his nanny every night ever since he had started having those horrible, horrible nightmares. The passage comes from the chapter of St. Luke in the gospel when Jesus was in the dessert.\
Luke 27: 15-17, part B "The Sequel"[edit | edit source]
And so it came to be that when [Jesus] was in the desert, the twelve came out to see him. And then James, who was the son of Mr. James, said to Jesus, "Hey dude," which means teacher, "verilly I ask, what be up?" and he gave the Savior a friendly slap on the back. And Jesus said, "truly I say unto you, not much, home 'postles."