User:Tompkins/Animal Refugees

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Animal Refugees are animals that, for whatever reason, decide it would be best for them to leave their current living area, and move on to a safer/less unsafe habitat. The reasons for the animal's decision to leave often varies depending on both species, and location. Beyond that, it is often a matter of politics and/or social standing. Most animal refugees are centralized in a few key locations, places that tend to be very poor and unstable. Whilst many chnages may take place in these areas, they are likely to be source for thousands of animal refugees over and over again.

Throughout history, there have been times in which a great surge of fleeing animals have left for safer, more stable lands. These times are often referred to by experts as "Flying Fur Periods" and usually take place over the course of several months. During this time it is not unlikely for an animal to become over-ridden with guilt and humilty. In the Animal Kingdom, it's often seen as a sign of weakness when one decides to leave their territory. Even worse, those who leave are often infected with human-like scents, and upon their return the mother may refuse to take them back.

Causes[edit | edit source]

As was mentioned before, the cause of animal leaving their homes often varies greatly depending on the animal. However, there are a few simple reasons, which are used as a base for most other, more complicated, principles. They are the following:

  • Political. Often times in the animal world, one may be chosen by several members of the community to be the leader. However, as is often the case with humans, there may be a few animals who seriously disagree with the decision made by their peers. For example, in The Lion King, Simba was chosen to replace his father as King. Unfortunately, their were members of the pride that thought Simba was too busy frollicking in the mud with Timon and Pumbaa. In this situation, the best thing for these animals to do, would be to leave the kingdom, and start a new life somewhere else.
  • Social Standing. Well, you know how the old saying goes... "If politics aren't bugging you, and you're not getting picked on by some Plain-bellied asshole... it's probably the fact that you have absolutely no money, and people wipe their feet on your cat." As is the case with many human beings, some animals just ca't afford to have a good life. And, because of this, their social standing falls to previously unthinkable levels. Whether it's the fact that you lost the only carcass you had for the winter, or maybe you just remebered that you forgot the cubs at the Eskimo place; almost any little mistake can throw an unsuspecting animal deep into poverty. To get the help they need, many animals decide to pretend that they have a real problem, and run away to a nearby animal refugee camp. While it's a risky decisision, it's pretty much the only one they have left to make.
  • Prejudice/Oppression. When an animal feels that it is being acted against as a form of prejudice or opression, it often decides to deal with the conflict by running away. This is evident in nearly all species of animals, but especially in those that were made-up by Dr. Seuss. The most well-known example of this being Seuss' Star-bellied and Plain-bellied Sneetches. The story of these two sepcies goes way back to times when a Cat had never worn a Hat before. As you can imagine, these were scary times, and alot of this fear and anxiety felt by the Sneetches was taken out on eachother. Well, worse came worse and, finally, the Star-bellied Sneetches decided the safest thing to do would to get the hell out of the Plain-bellied Sneetches way.

A Long Journey[edit | edit source]

In many places, animal refugees have to travel hundreds of miles to get to the nearest camp. This journey is always long, and usually very rough on the animals. When they finally do arrive at the camp, the animals often struggle with ratty coats, tough pads, and dry noses. While all of these symptoms can be healed, the emotionl pain of having to move to a refugee camp will always stay with the animal.

While human refugees are normally comforted by their friends and family, animals tend to make fun of those that are forced to move out of their homes. Even worse, sometimes the animals will be suddenly forced to pay decade-old bar tabs due to the bartenders fears that the animal may soon be dead. But these aren't the only debts the animals will have to pay off while they're living as refugees. Other debts include those made to god, their mother, and previous owners. These may include anything from returning that bible you stole from Motel 6, to