User:Toiletpaperman/Short king
Short Kings are a subspecies of Men, most notable for their lack of height, Hoes, and their feisty attitude due to them being unable to reach the top shelf.
Criteria To Be A Short King[edit | edit source]
- Male
- Must be shorter than 5 foot 7 inches and one horse hair
- Favorite food must be KRAFT mac and cheese and dino nuggies
- Addiction to foot porn
- Must say he loves The Smiths but only for Morrissey's political views
- Defend Kanye West by only saying "He made Graduation"
- Must believe they are always in their "Joker arc"
- Must attend the short king convention the fifth Saturday of every other year (not to be mistaken for the Geneva Convention)
Notable Short Kings[edit | edit source]
- Danny DeVito
- Napoleon Bonaparte
- Kevin Hart
- LeBron James
- Entire Continent of Antarctica
- Oompa-Loompas
- British "People"
- Anyone who listens to Deftones
- My Uncle Jim
- Kanye West (honorary short king)
- Ed Sheeran
- Mark Wahlberg
- DaBaby
- Joaquin Phoenix
- Chris Farley
- Jonah Hill
- Ted Kaczynski
Furry Short King Convention[edit | edit source]
The Short King Convention is held the fifth Saturday of every other year, first one being held January 29th, 1944. Hosted by a different person every year, who is then promoted to the Short Emperor for the convention. The title is purely bragging rights, because they need something to be proud of.
Events[edit | edit source]
There are many events at the Short King Convention, including the crowning of the Emperor, sacrificing the tallest person there in hopes to shorten the national average hight, a buffet that only sells really middle of the road Chinese food (think along the lines of your local Chinese takeout place), watching Scott Pilgrim, Once Upon A Time In Hollywood, American Psycho, Joker, and Suicide Squad (only the parts with Jared Leto).
Controversy[edit | edit source]
Clashes with Tall kings[edit | edit source]
Short kings are famous for being constantly at war with the equally insane Tall Kings. There has been many clashes such as twice in 2007, Once in 2014 and thrice in 2019.
December 2019 Clash[edit | edit source]
The clash is the most well-known due to some of the recordings being used to help popularize the Among Us app, due to one of the games being played at the convention being eerily similar to it.