User:The Jamaidian
| |
| The Jamaidian | |
|---|---|
| Actual Name | Dylan |
| Occupation | Smiting Idiots |
| Weakness | Ain't Got None |
| Evolves from | Pewpmonstuh |
| Evolves to | GOD |
| Sex | Yes |
| Species | Awesome |
| Overall Description | Awesome/Better than you |
| Height | 17'5" |
| Weight | Let's just say if I had the metabolism of Zac Douglas, I'd be very popular in Japan. |
| Abilities | Killing shit, Being awesome, better than you, etc. |
| What To Do In An Encounter | Bow down |
| OH DAMN! | What you'll say when I kick you in the face. |
| Weapon of Choice | Head A'Sploder |
The Beginning[edit | edit source]
In the early 1980s, a little boy made a big mistake: he was born. Now, many people may argue that this is by no means a mistake, but they are completely wrong, as this little boy would grow into an absolute idiot.
On December 17, 1991, in a military hospital at the MacDill Airforce Base in Tampa, Florida, in the country of United States of Pewperica, a baby was born. There was much rejoicing. When this baby began slaughtering the hospital staff, however, the mood soon turned to panic. The baby's name was Dylan God Mathew Black Jesus Canady.
Fifteen years later, the little boy from the early 80s was being an idiot. He was driving his car through people's livingrooms as usual, when, for some reason, someone got mad at him! "Hey! What the hell are you doing?" the person said. "um...is this some kind of trick question or what?" said the idiot, whose name happens to be Josh.
Person: No, you idiot! You just mowed down my livingroom!
Josh: Uh, yeah, I can see that for myself, thanks, I'm not blind.
Person: Why?
Josh: Because...I don't know...because my eyes are healthy?
Person: ......................you are retarded. That's it. There's no doubt in my mind. I'm calling for help.
Josh: Oh there's no need! I can help you. Um, what is it you need help with?
Person: It's not for me. It's for you.
Josh: Why? I don't need help with anything.
Three seconds later Josh was half way down the road, screaming like a little girl. When I told him that I would be getting help for him (and it was me) I was of course referring mental help, as I would never hurt anyone, so medical help would be unneeded.