User:The Hunt/Bell Street's New Residents

12th of May, 2007

Things happen so quickly in Bell Street. It seemed like just yesterday that old Mr. Crillin next door was forcibly removed from his house after several complaints from some of the street's children. God, he didn't seem like he wanted to go anywhere quickly...and those poor police, they really had to spend alot of time dealing with him. First they tranquilized him and put him in a straightjacket, and then to be sure he was completely immobilized they trunchoened him about 50 or so times (I admire how thorough law-enforcers are). Anyway, I'm getting sidetracked. After the whole Mr. Crillin episode, we were hoping to have someone rather normal, perhaps a barrister from down south, with a couple of kids and a wife who would come over and cook with Geraldine. Instead, our new neighbours seem a bit...well, odd. When Geraldine and I welcomed visited them to welcome them to the street yesterday with a nice treacle tart they shouted at us in arabic. I couldn't understand what they were saying (all the good newspapers I read don't have all that 'World Affairs' rubbish) but I got the indication his name was Mr. Taliban, because he mentioned the word so much. Oh well, Bell Street has always been a bit kooky ever since that Welsh couple moved in...

15th of May, 2007

I must say, those new neighbours may be a few ties short of a menswear store, but there's no denying they're amazing renovators. Just last night when I was hopping in to bed old Mr. Crillin's house was still there, slightly-suspicious playset and all. But when I got up around midnight to deal with my godawful prostate the place was completely destroyed! By the next morning they had put up a completely new house, and must say it was quite an unorthadox design. In fact, it was more like a bunker than anything else. There was a shooting range, a small mosque and several lines of trenches. The entire place was covered in sandbags and gun turrets with sub-machineguns on the top, as well as loads of banners about Allah and martyrdom and all that jive. I mean, I'm concerned about home security as well, but theres a limit...