User:The Eye/Sony GayStation
“That's gay”
“Oooh i'm doing the next guy who plays with me!”
“Fake and GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY”
The Sony Gaystation is a gay console made by the gay company Sony in which gay people get to play their gay little gay games (or Gaymes). This gay system was introduced during the gay E3 convention in the gay year of 1994. It was then made available in December 1994 in the gay-ass country of KOREA, which has a very gay flag. It subsequently made available in the gay continents of North America, Europe and Australia in 1995.
Basic Overview[edit | edit source]
The Gaystation was considered one of the gayest, most successful, and most crap video gayme systems ever. The Gaystation also had one of the longest gay production runs ever, 13 gay years. During these 13 gay years, over 150 million gay units were sold all around the gay world. Those fucking gay cartridges (which gay Nintendo gaily worshiped) where destroyed as a result of the Gaystation's extreme success and influence. Nintendo attempted to cling onto their beloved gay cartages by formating the gay N64 to continue using gay cartages... how gay. And if that wasn't gay enough Sony would later release an even gayer success a few gay years down the gay road, the Gaystation 2 (gaily pictured above). This gay success however would not be reached during Sony's next video gayme system, Gaystation 3, which just happens to be so gay that it is indeed, straight.
In other news, I really really like the word "gay".
History[edit | edit source]
The first idea for the Gaystation came from Microsoft. Bill Gaytes, never satisfied with his various sex toys, wanted something new to shove up his anus; oh, and I guess Microsoft wanted to take advantage of the emerging disk format, but whatever, that was obviously secondary... obviously. So Microsoft embarked on their journey to make the greatest, gayest video game accessory known to man, gay man that is.
After countless (8) seconds of searching Microsoft finally found a company queer enough to make an ultimate gayming machine to meet their qualifying level of fagotry. Seriously, had anyone else's machine been put to use, the sheer amount sodomy would've overloaded the system cause the thing to Asplode, leaving no survivors on the planet... except for Will Smith.
Microsoft Drops Project Gaystation... and Their Pants[edit | edit source]
Unfortunately, after only a few months into the project and Microsoft convinced Gaytes to use real, less expensive penises for his enjoyment, several Microsoft executives even personally lent Gaytes use of their cocks. Also, right before the project was cut, Gaytes was rumored to discover the existence of dildos; while no one truly knows if that is anyway linked to Microsoft's sudden discontinue of the product, experts who have devoted countless hours of their lives to the incident are "pretty fuckin' sure".
Upon hearing of their project being scraped Sony immediately mailed a letter to Microsoft that was later released to the press included the following: "Dear Gentlemen, FUCK YOU IN THE MOUTH!!" Taped to the letter was a picture was a picture of Crash Bandicoot fucking several of the Microsoft exec's mothers.
The Aftermath[edit | edit source]
After being chumped by Microsoft, Sony wasn't sure what to do with itself. There was mass panic and confusion among Sony employees; some of them decided it would be best to try and ride it out and wait for things to get better, some thought it would be best to release the Gaystation as an independent console, most however committed suicide.
The Aftermath's Aftermath[edit | edit source]
The prospect of making the Gaystation a stand-alone independent console was a very controversial idea to the Sony staff. However most of the people who would have had a problem with it had just recently jumped off a very very tall building. So they went ahead with it. And the rest is history.
Controversy[edit | edit source]
There is absolutely NO CONTROVERSY whatsoever involving the Gaystation I, II,III,Portable,III lite,IV,IV Slim,VI,VII,VII slim,Portable 2000 or Portable lite nope none at all. After all, it would take a raging homophobe to have a problem with the Gaystation, right?... riiight?
Side Effects[edit | edit source]
Prolonged exposure to the Gaystaion and its gaymes has been link to several horrific and sometimes sexy side effets. Those side effects are:
- Craving for Mangina
- Ulcers around the mouth
- Frequent masturbating to gay porn
- Uncontrollable Splooging
- Sore Colon
- Excessive use of the word "fabulous"
- Eternal damnation in the fiery pits of Hell
- More Uncontrollable Splooging
- Tight Clothing
- Instant knowledge of how to defuse a bomb
- Panic At The Disco
- Britian
- Immediate attraction to Chris Crocker
- Transformation into the Homo sexualis species
- You may transform into a little gay shoe shining boy possibly taking on the alias of "Killian" or "Face Man"
- Uncontrollable cravings for semen
- All of the above
Gaystation 2[edit | edit source]
Unfortunately for gaymers everywhere, on March 4, 2000 the Gaystation was diagnosed with every STD known to man. So in order to keep the money flowing, Sony had to toss away the original Gaystation like the gay piece of shit it was. And in it's place was the Gaystation 2. It was designed to be bigger, better, blacker than the original... and it was. It got a 110% Rating on Metametametametamettttttacritic AND It came with a free naked bitch toy sex doll on launch, and that now sells for 420,000 Gayollars.
Gaystation 3[edit | edit source]
Unfortunatley, this was never released due to the large criticism of the Gaystation gayming platform. The Gaystation 3 died of HIV, Herpes and AIDS. But some gaymes were relesed over 9000 years before The Gaystation 3.