User:TezzaMcJ
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“I would so tap that guy!”
“What is this new "Terence" thang the young people are talking about?”
“Bwerrr, how come I'm not as popular as him?”
“Oh well, he's all tip and no iceberg you know...”
“So... You come here often”
“It's okay, I have... THE FORMULA!!!”
Terence[edit | edit source]
Ternace, as he was mis-spelled, is known as the king of pop, soul dave, gandalf the grey and all-round-thingymagimy of the year. He is the ultimate, penultamate and chucknorrisultimate at the same time. He is most famous for hiting Will with a tennis ball the other day and coining such popular cathphrases as "Eat this bread, it is my body, drink this wine, it is my blood" and "Shut the fuck up". The Terence can be identified by... THE FORMULA!!!
Achievements[edit | edit source]
Within his short lifetime of just 16 million years, I, I mean HE, has made such monumental feats as the Panama Canal, the Nazca Lines, Mein Kampf and the Suzuki Liana. He has spread Hinduism to Europe, Christianity to Asia, and Asianism to Hinduland.
The Cult of the Terence[edit | edit source]
The cult of the Terence, or god, as it is known these days started out in during the dark ages in 1984, and has continued to rake in more moolah each month, as is the goal of most religions. He has a massive fan club which is made up of almost 2 people world wide, making it one of the most popular relions in the world. recently, the Terence-oberfest gathered in Rio de Janeiro to erect an enourmous likeness of him on top of a mountain which was called Terence the Redeemer.
Terence Television[edit | edit source]
Every week on channel 10 there is a show which is dedicated to the revelations surrounding the realm of Terence, this show is called Big Brother, if you would like to know more you could e-mail the producers as they have their own viewer mailbag segment which each week, is absolutely choc-full with literally no emails. (Note - in the mortal world, the Terence is known as Big Brother
Enemies and comrades of the Terence[edit | edit source]
The Terence, or the the turnip, as he was just mispronounced, has many allies and about six cents worth of enemies, grues making up rougly 8 shillings worth, some of his allies include; Banana Man, Chuck Norris, one grue, Bangers and Mash, Phil, Captain Nemo and Dicky Snapples; the dwarf who hides apples. Other enemies besides grues include; most all grues, another grue, Craig Lowndes, Will, Jeff the grue, the Super Mario Brothers/Grues, my shoes, the little fat kid from Hey Dad and several other grues... Oh, and one more grue that was late.
Things that can and cannot kill the Terence[edit | edit source]
Terence cannot be killed by paradoxes or... THE FORMULA!!! (Y3) However, the Terence can be killed by paradoxes.
Rules of Terencism - The 41 commandments[edit | edit source]
1) Do unto grues as grues do unto you.
2) Thou shalt not worship any other labels other than Farmers Union.
3) Thou shalt not take thy mothers name in vein.
4) Thou shalt make one monthly sacrafice of hundreds of premium qualiy carpet end-of-rolls at drastically reduced prices.
5) Thou shalt not steal on e-bay when there's three seconds left.
6) Thou shalt not put no mother fuckin' snakes on no mother fuckin' plane.
7) Respect thy mother and thy father unless they're tools. In any case, respect Chuck Norris.
8) Thou shalt not drive a Holden Viva.
9) Don't do drugs... you'll look like a spastic.
10 to 41) AAAARRRGGHH, GRUES!!!!
And now, various quotes from Paul Keating...[edit | edit source]
PAUL KEATING: Oh, look, it's just Howard being Howard, isn't it, you know. The little desiccated coconut's under pressure and he's attacking anything he can get his hands on.
PAUL KEATING: Well, the thing about poor old Costello, he's all tip and no iceberg, you know. He (laughs), you know, he can throw a punch across the parliament, but the bloke he should be throwing the punch to his Howard. Of course, he doesn't have the ticker for it.
Trivia[edit | edit source]
The Simpsons[edit | edit source]
- In season 2, episode 9, Bart steal's Mrs. Krabappel's TezzaMcJ.
- In season 16, episode 8, Homer picks his nose with a TezzaMcJ.
- In season 18000, episode 229er, Grandpa explains that in the olden days it was the style to wear a TezzaMcJ on your belt.
Family Guy[edit | edit source]
- In season 4, episode 20, Stewie beats Brian with a TezzaMcJ.
South Park[edit | edit source]
- In season 1, episode 1, Cartman gets a TezzaMcJ shoved up his ass.
- In season 30, episode -4, Kenny is killed by a TezzaMcJ.
- In season 5, episode 80, the boys befriend a talking TezzaMcJ named "TezzaMcJ".
Seinfeld[edit | edit source]
- In season 2, episode 9, Elaine says "Maybe a TezzaMcJ ate your baby".
- In season 7, episode 7, Kramer, Elaine, Jerry, and George compete to see who can go the longest without a TezzaMcJ.
Saturday Night Live[edit | edit source]
- In seasons 20 through 23, a recurring gag has Molly Shannon wearing a TezzaMcJ on top of her head.
I Love Lucy[edit | edit source]
- In season 1, episode 27, Ricky finds a TezzaMcJ stash in Lucy's purse.
Fibber McGee and Molly[edit | edit source]
- In season 16, episode 11, Dr. Gamble is looking for a TezzaMcJ, and Fibber McGee opens his closet to look for one, with hilarious results.
Rove Live[edit | edit source]
- In season 1e7345, episode 4, Peter Hellier adds a TezzaMcJ to PeteSpace
- In season 100101101, episode 34, a live competion sees three audience members burrowing through a pile of TezzaMcJs. for a chance to win a copy of Silverchairs's latest craphole album.
Amos 'n' Andy[edit | edit source]
- In season 12, episode 9, the Kingfish tells Andy "Go an' fin' me one a dem TezzaMcJ thangs".
Shakespeare[edit | edit source]
- In act 4, scene 2, of Troilus and Cressida, Hector says, "I would lief be thrust thr'u a quickset hedge as cry pooh to a callow TezzaMcJ."