User:Stoat/Renee O'Connor
Renne O'Connor, real name Connor O'Renee, (b 1973, d 1991, 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996 (twice), 1997 (three times), 1998 (twice), 1999 (six hundred times), 2001, 2002 (three hundred and seventy four times), is probably most famous for having died more times than anyone else in the entire history of history, ever.
Childhood[edit | edit source]
Renee was a child between the ages of eight and twenty-six. This was mainly due to her short stature, 3' 2".
During this time she attended school and graduated top of her class.
Career[edit | edit source]
Armed with her qualifications Renee found employment as a garden gnome in a branch of B&Q. It was here that she was spotted by Sam Raimi and cast as Bruce Campbell's stunt chin in Army Of The Evil Dead IV part 6.
It was shortly after this that Raimi's boyfriend Rob Tapert was struck by Renee's good looks and cast her as Lucy Lawless' right breast in an episode of Hercules.
True Love[edit | edit source]
Renee fell in love on the set of Hercules with co star Lucy Lawless. Despite the restraining order she followed Lawless around for the next six years.
The two eventually married.
Their life together became a worldwide hit tv series, "Lucy Lawless: The Legendary Journeying Princess and Her Best Friend Who Is Not Her Lesbian Lover Unless The Ratings Are Dropping".
This series introduced the catchphrase, "Oh my gods, they killed Renee" into popular culture.
The Many Deaths Of Renee[edit | edit source]
Renee has died, sometimes more than once, in the following ways:
- Crucifixion
- Shot with an arrow
- Sword in the chest
- Falling into a lava pit
- Poison
- Falling off a cliff
- Trapped in a burning cart
- Falling off a cliff in a burning cart after being poisoned
- Being thrown off a cliff
- Being thrown at a cliff
- Being thrown at Cliff Richard
- Being thrown off Cliff Richard
- Being thrown off a cliff by Cliff Richard
- Decapitation
- Depilation
- Eaten by crabs
- Eaten by rats
- Eaten by Lucy Lawless
- Eaten by
cannonballscanibblescannobullspeople who eat other people - Mocked by fashionable beavers
- Huffed after being mistaken for a kitten
Break Up[edit | edit source]
Lawless, increasingly tired of Renee's continuous dying, left her to marry Rob Tapert.
Renee then drifted into a destructive relationship with renowned breast fondler Hudson Leick.