User:Stevie16/Hamster Armies of Evil
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Communist Hamsters have Reeducated this page!
The Communist Hamster Armies of Evil have conquered this page in the name of Russia. All reviewers will be reeducated in the clear plastic ball of doom. All capitalists guinea pigs shall eat poo. Obey them and leave this page and you might be spared. Maybe.. |
“I hate hamsters”
“I don't...”
“You eat poo.”
“They cannot be defeated but they taste like chicken, communist chicken.”
“Who the hell had that idea?”
“I will rape your soul!”
“The Dark Beast of AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!”
“They stole our idea”
“No we didn't.”
“What the hell their taking over uncyclopedia NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”
“We surrender”
Overveiw[edit | edit source]
The Hamster armies of evil are an army of communist hamsters bent on world domination, the complete destruction of france, and all of the worlds pictures of chuck norris. They are also a very simple way to kill stores once you learn to control some of them. Although there powers are great very few people have the power to control them. Among these people are the founder and saints of The Church of Nerdology, along with Ozzy Osborne, of course!!Here's a Quote from Ozzy.
“Evil Hamsters rock, like I once did, especially when you owe a major debt of $5.00 to a store.”
Hamsterman also has control of these armies, though he is often fighting the forces of huge ass demons, so he has no time to command them. He often gets pissed because he got ganked by some sad little noob, however, so little is known about why he doesnt just kill the demons.
Background[edit | edit source]
The Communist Hamster Armies of Evil hail from Russia where they protect its borders from all intruders, democrats, capitalists, peasants, pedophiles, and Chuck Norris. The Communist Hamster Armies of Evil actively seek to destroy all things Nazi, German, Tiger, and Canadian. The C.H.A.O.E. fight their never ending war against all things religious and free. The GNFC Royal Monkey Corp is a recent enemy but one who now demands large amounts of C.H.A.O.E. clear plastic balls in order to combat the Monkey Corp. When the soviet union collapsed the hamster armies held it together as the last fortress of communism. They fight and invade countries for their money women and pornography.
The first super hamster was created after the Chernobyl accident and grew to 4 feet tall and super intelligent. After it wandered into Moscow it was converted to communism and served in the KGB. Feeling lonely he bought all the hamsters in Russia and brought them to the ruins of the Chernobyl reactor. There they mutated into more super hamsters and received weapons from the communist government.
Why they Rule[edit | edit source]
The Hamster Armies of Evil are normally very small and wimpy due to them being hamsters and all, but according to the rule of the russian reversal in russia they are the most powerful army in the world. They are in a constant state of conquest and where ever they go then becomes russian territory. At first they fought with claws and poo projectiles but the Soviet Union gave them guns and they began conquering the world starting with canada.
Abilities[edit | edit source]
- Guns, tanks, and planes Oh my.
- The innate ability to pick up and use all types of weapons.
- In Russian territory they are invulnerable.
- Infinite ammo and grenades stored in their cheeks.
- Vicious yet cuddly behavior.
- The ability to go into a frenzy and gain inhuman strength.
Units[edit | edit source]
The units of the Communist hamster armies of evil are as follows.
The grunt, an average hamster warrior stands about 3-4 feet tall and is cute but deadly. Always equipped with a machine gun and the standard commie hat. Carries unlimited ammo and grenades in its cheek pouches. If forced into close combat it goes insane and will tear its attacker into tiny peices and eat them. Its evil can only be compared to a grue and even a grue will be afriad of them. Immensly loyal and suicidal if they are not seen shooting at you or tearing your friends into peices then it is obviously suicide bombing your house. They are bred in the wastes of Russia in the millions so they always out number their enemies.
They dwarf hamster commandos the same as above but are 1000 times stronger and faster. They are equipped with special armor that makes them more viscious and gives them stealth abilities. It also includes a jetpack. Master assassins they rip their victems into bloody peices with their chainsaw and them defecate on the remains.They are equiped with the standard AK-47 with plasma shot, grenade launcher. and sniper attachments.
The hamsters have recently found a way to construct a lightning gun that they use to electrocute and precook their enemies. It shoots out a bolt of electricity and is primarily used as an anti aircraft gun but is also used on infantry.
In recent events the hamsters have mastered the use of giant armored robots called Chrome Hounds(Recent XBox game lawsuit still in progress.) This gives the hamster forces more power in addition to their vast fleet of tanks and artillery.
Communist Hamsters are well known and deadly suicide bombers. They carry 2 tons of nitroglycerin in their bodies and often explode if they are about to be captured. The suicide bombers have been known that when grabbed by a Canadian eagle pulled a grenade out of its cheek pouch and blew of the eagles head killing itself in the process.
The Communist Hamsters have constructed a Navy to combat the Demonic Alligator Armies of Southern Florida and proceeded to cause the extinction of the Democrat with airraids and bombing runs. This was done as a training excercise to teach the young hamsters how to fight in the midst of peaceful demonstrators while killing as many of them as possible.
Achievements[edit | edit source]
- The Formation of the Soviet Union
- The one and only defeat of Chuck Norris
- Slores as an endangered species
- The Extinction of the Panda
- Mr. T losing his bling(the hurricane was an excuse)
- The creation of the world
- Destruction of the Democratic party
- Extinction of the slore.
- they conquered france, and germany, and america, and bob the builder, and nuns, and monkey land, and the lord of darth, the empire, some random city in scotland, gruetopia, mexico,Myspace, mexica, canada, pornography websites, pedifileland, neverland ranch, france, mickey mouse, pantalones~kingdom of party place, china, japan, all of Africa, and most of the moon.
- The start of the war for all nerddom versus the flying eagle armies of canada, the demonic aligators of southern florida, the facist tiger armies of nazi germany and the emo goth armies of the river styx.
The Fascist Tiger Armies of Nazi Germany
