User:Stevetattoos/Dog goo Original
“It taste real good with toast”
“Hah! Take that you poor bugger! Try and pilfer from me will you.”
Dog Goo is the residue left behind after applying a massive centrifugal force on a dog. No commercially-viable use has been found for this substance yet, but the food industry is very excited at the cake potential.
Dog Goo is a byproduct of the cat termination process. Sometimes dogs, excited at the prospect of catching a cat, end in the "spinner". This produced low-grade Dog Goo, as there is usually the presence of a cat fouling up the quality. However, it was soon discovered that good quality Dog Goo was easily obtained by spraying cat urine into the "spinner", without the need for the introduction of a real, whole cat.
It is hoped that one day soon, 100% pure Dog Goo will be obtained without even the need to spray essence of cat urine into the "spinner". The cake industry awaits this day with massively clenched buttocks.
History of Dog Goo[edit | edit source]
First discovered by Adam Smith as a solution to throwing something at the poor, Dog Goo was found to be very aerodynamic as well as being very sticky on the recipient. Very soon, the socially elite of Europe could be found throwing Dog Goo at the scum of Europe. However, following the break-out of Peace following World War One, Dog Goo was banned as a projectile, leading the leading scientist of the day to devise other uses for Dog Goo.
During the inter-war period, German scientist poured nearly half of their research budget into research and development of Dog Goo, ascertaining that the larger the dog, the lower the quality Goo. Seeing as dachshunds were readily available following their increase in popularity (all of the laid-off workers having nothing better to do), the German Dog Goo was considered to be of the highest quality. This inflated ego was one of the factors that lead to Germany's second time around.
During the Battle of the Somme, German air-superiority was lost due to the Dog Goo freezing at high altitude, causing the planes to crash. Following the second break-out of Peace, Giusep Nay argued that Dog Goo could only be used for commercial applications as well as rat poison, as it is used to day.
Variations of Dog Goo[edit | edit source]
One variant of Dog Goo is British Dog Goo, which has a particularly brown smell. The food industry is less excited about this, but it is hoped that the public pie sector will take up the challenge.