User:Someperson/Glenn Beck likes to shoot people at the movies
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28 July 2009
“I am a huge gun freak. I love guns. I love carrying a gun with me everywhere I go. I love to shoot people and even eat bullets for dinner. I am a Superman-type gun owner since I am a member of the FDA. I am going to marry a gun soon!”
WASHINGTON D.C.- Fox News anchor Glenn Beck said that he enjoys bringing his gun and shooting people at the movies on his television show. He says he already has killed 3 snack vendors for not putting enough butter on his popcorn and a three-year old girl for a lollipop. Beck supposedly is a concealed weapons permit holder, but some information proves otherwise. Beck says that he has a right to carry his gun and shoot people because of the 2nd Amendment. Beck has not been convicted of murder as of now, but may if he keeps up his shooting ways.
Glenn also cites his first amendment rights, being quoted as saying "When I fire my gun at children it makes a sound, almost as if it is talking, saying, 'hey kid! I don't agree with the fact that you are alive!'". He says that he is merely expressing his opinions that certain people, or more accurately, certain kinds of people should not be alive. He claims it's not racially motivated, but motivated by the behavior of certain people, and the corresponding people who wear similar t-shirts or hats. He says "my gun is an extension of my voice. when I shoot it at people, it's me saying 'shut up you idiot you are ruining the world'". Beck finished the AP interview at his estate in slippers, a robe, and a "yes we can" t-shirt, unshaven, grizzled, and smelling of cheap scotch and sperm. He says that yes he does support Obama, but he's got his eye on him, because his name sound awfully similar to Osama. He doesn't think it's a coincidence that most of the American people would vote in somebody with such a similar name to their sworn enemy. He says the liberal media is his next target for his freedom of speech campaign, along with anyone who voted for Obama if anything goes wrong.
Sources[edit | edit source]
- jmeasley "Beware! Glenn Beck is Armed at the Movies" Politicususa, July 22, 2009