User:Shai Halud/Orange peeling
The art of orange peeling is a dangerous one. The >oranges< origins fo orange peeling is unknown, but it is widely believed that it originated in Scotland, where oranges are abundant, and during sometime in the 20th century.
“...I always thought you were meant to explode them...”
“...They are orange....”
“...They not gween!?!?!?...”
(searching for green oranges on google images may result in naked pictures of women. Try it.)
The Art of Peeling[edit | edit source]
If the inside of an orange is peirced, it will explode with the force of a small grenade. This is the main reason why orange peeling is forbidden in 26 countries. The exact methods for orange peeling remain largely unknown to the general public, as if done incorrectly can cause devastating consequences. However, there are rumours it is a complicated process involving numerous sharp instruments, kittens and possibly towels.
The structure of an orange[edit | edit source]
Just like the earth, oranges were once mistaken for being flat. This was mostly from the perception of the flat minded. When some clever bloke discovered the earth was round, scientists put their brains together and came to the conclusion that oranges were probably of a rounded nature too.
Just like the earth, oranges have segments, which can be cleverly prised away from each other and consumed by various animals, for example the Hippofent. When bitten into the segments spray 'Juice de la orange'. Too much of this juice can cause burns.
Ornage peeling records[edit | edit source]
Orange peeling hints and tips[edit | edit source]
ALWAYS! peel an orange with your eyes open, there is an increasing amount of cases were people have injured them selves peeling an orange with their eyes closed.One of those poor victims are none other than Fidel Castro who managed to start off peeling a orange , but then closed his eyes and infact started peeling a chainsaw...its needless to say his hands were mauled and there was blood / orange EVERYWERE
A bit on Oranges[edit | edit source]
The Great Orage peeling war of 1868[edit | edit source]
There was one, we are pretty sure.
A message from our sponsor[edit | edit source]
NO ONE EDIT THIS, PLEEEESE! IT MINE!
Hi, we here at Oranges 2000 think that you need this!
This fantastic invention is called the Ornage peeler 2000! Simply insert an orange and watch in wonder as your orage is peeled before your eyes, with none of the mess Of trying to peel it yourself, failing, and staring in wonder at your hands (or lack of)!