User:Shabidoo/cookie monster sleep over

The edges of the distant pass, that night, could blow off into the shadow of distant breeze, but it can never leave, the hardened memory, stays with us, without protest, fragile as autumn orchids, that night, splits our fragile minds, as we re-live the seconds, slowly, as hollow day-dreams, frame by frame. That night, has us face our onlyness, and everythingness, no one believed, that one of us would come to an end, not like that, not in the digestive tract, of one of our own.

Grover loved everyone but cherrished Big Bird. Oscar was caring to all and more so to Oscar, they were best buddies. Kermits best friend? It was the Cookie monster. But really, they were all super best friends, for ever and for always, always: because furry puppets never ever died, unless from disease. They were palls and friends and mates, all of them, with a love that could burst an pulmonic artery.

It was one big happy circle of fun and funness. Big bird announced that Snuffelupagus had invite everyone to a sleep over at his house. The other muppets were excited to finally meet the elephant thingy guy. When they all arrived Big bird was waiting at the door and gave them all fun paper hats and an exciting drink of lemon water.

Big bird sadly announced to everyone that Snuffelupagus couldn't make it to his own sleep over and the others understood and excused the person they suspected might never have existed. But being in his house, it was clear that there must be a snuffelupagus. As grover went down the stairs he noticed pictures of old and young birds and wondered if maybe this house belonged to Big Birds uncle or cousin.

They played games, and drew fake tattoos on each other. They ordered pizzas and watched nightmare on elmstreet. Whenever Bert got scared he would burry his face deep into Ernies chest, so he could calm down. Grover wanted to do the same, but the smell of Oscars shaggy body was so rotted and strong it made him gag.

They then started a fire out in the back while Big Bird brought out his guitar and Kermit sang songs. Everyone loved Kermit so much they couldn't ask him to stop, even after the twenty-fifth song. Big Bird broke some strings on purpose so that they might go to bed and get a little sleep.

Grover looked at everyone and smiled. It had beena difficult week for the Sesame Street characters. The producers had told them that with the financial crisis they would all have to take a deep paycut, or letting one of them go. They were such mega awsome buddies that they could never split up, not in a million centuries. United, they stood upto them and said it's either all of us or none of us.

They all went to sleep. Bert spooned with Ernie. Big bird lied on a pillow and grover used Big Birds belly as a pillow. Oscar the grouch slept inside the freezer, as the smell he emitted during the night was so repulsive the others wouldn't be able to sleep.

When everyone was fast asleap, cookie monster switched into action mode. Having only eaten pizza and nothing else that night, his self control was lost and nothing could stop him. He slowly opened up big birds over night bag, looking for any cookies or cookie like snacks. Everything was wrapped in plastic bags and so cookie monster had to slowly unroll the bags without waking anyone up. This is impossible as plastic bags make a slight sound of torrential downpour on aluminum roof, no matter how gentle you are with it. There were no cookies, but now cookie monster had to re roll everything into the plastic sacks and jam them into the bag. He looked over and noticed that the trashbin was empty and if he could jam all of big birds things and the plastic bags quickly into the recepticle and then cover it with litter, no one would realise it was missing, and he could then concentrate on other possible sources of cookies.

Onto Bert and Ernies overnight bag. He opened it up slowly and gently moved Berts sweater to the side and then Ernies underwear. Bert's pills where kept in a container, a cocktail of pills designed to fight of his AIDS as long as possible. Deeper into the bag, cookie monster could smell a wiff of chocolate. Deep down inside, just past a giant bottle of lubrication was a chocolate dildo. Cookie monster instantly morphed it down grunting while his eyes crossed in bliss. He stopped and looked around. Everyone was sleeping except Ernie who realised that cookie monster was in his bag. Ernie was livid, but terrified. He was worried that cookie monster might delve deeper into his bag and discover his poppers, just below his muscle building magazines. The poppers that looked like candy, irresistable candy.

Cookie Monster's Wonderful Adventure

He could hear cookie monster slowly retuning the items into the over night bag. Cookie monster was an expert at covert operations and his speed was simply unhuman. Just as he was zipping the bag closed, cookie monster stopped and stared deep into the bag. He spied something, and jamed his hand in, to Ernies horror, cookie monster spotted the poppers, and he watched, unable to stop him, as cookie monster devoured them all in one second. Ernies initial reaction was to run out of the house as fast as possible, but there was no time for that. His only hope was to shield himself by hiding behind Bert.

The first thing cookie monster did was jump up and down bouncing off the roof and then rebounding off the floor, much like a pin ball machine only with bones breaking and a less pleasant sound. This woke-up everyone else, who immediately panicked. Cookie monster then started convulsing with drool flying out of his mouth like a sprinkler. Grover dived for the freezer and got in just before Cookie Monster completely lost it. He ran around the room biting at everyone. Ernie defended himself with a broom while big bird huddled up in the corner with its wings protecting his body. One minute later and all of those out in the open were without clothes and deep scratch marks in their faces and on their bellies. Hundreds of yellow feathers swirled around the room while pieces of blue and red fur slowly floated to the ground. Cookie monster then jumped up and down on the tables and couches ripping apart the fabric and breaking the wooden frames. He then focused on big bird. The others fearing for Big Birds life ran and put themselves inbetween Cookie Monster and the poultry, but their efforts were vein. Cookie monster ripped off big birds wings and started eating pieces of it. Big Bird yelped out in pain until cookie monster ripped out his jugular. The other animals screamed in horror as cokie monster demolished the entire bird in less than a minute eating every single piece of meat. The others huddled into the other corner wimpering, fearling for their lives. Meanwhile cookie monster started on the organs, only far slower. The others didn't take their eyes off of the scene until they had no more tears to shed.

After a few hours, cookie monster was far more relaxed and was sucking bone marrow out of Big birds tender bones. An hour later he was gnawing on the tough bits left of him until he eventually passed out. Once there was enough silence and no sign of conciousness, Ernie grabbed a frying pan and hit cookie monster over on the head twenty times. He then opened up the freezer and took out the frozen Oscar and Grover putting them next to the heater so they could melt. He then threw cookie monster into the freezer until the could figure out what to do with him.

The wind was rough that week, but floating over our heads, a breeze...but just so high that it didn't cross our faces, but wisped by blowing the top of our fur. While we walked with our legs, one step two step, and saw through our ping pong eyes, our words were not chosen by us, our fake smiles were not done for anyones sake, but maybe to ensure everyone that we were all right, despite nothing being right, apart from the never we saw in front of us...the never of the future, we would never be allright. We saw grey, only grey. Colour was a distant memory, white was light grey, black was dark grey, one colour, one colour with its inifate shades, the only thing of depth we experienced was grey, the vastness of a pool of hues of blandness. And we knew we had to snap out of it, we had to move on, for our sakes, for loves sake, for Big Bird's sake, we had to live in colour again, we had to see ourselves from a stronger and realer perspective.

Grover was okay but Oscar the grouch had frost bite on his toes and he had a hard time walking. While tears dripped down their eyes they started collecting Big Birds feathers and anything else that was too destroyed to fix. Bert took one of the feathers and put it in his pocket, something to remember his old friend by. Grover did the sweeping while Ernie tried to fix the armchair. They started singing a couple songs that usually cheered them up. There's nothing a song can't solve!

Suddenly a brass band started playing and they all started to sing and dance around the room cleaning things up, magically fixing things, smiling at each other, hopping, skipping, laughing as they entertained each other, learning some valuable lesson and having a wonderful time. When it was over they looked at each other feeling happy. And then they weren't happy. Everything was like nothing ever happened, except, Big Bird didn't magically appear, he was sitting in Cookie Monsters stomache, and his feathers in a a garbage bad.

=Cookie Monster's Cookie Binge

They all went home without saying anything more. They slept for about twenty hours each, except for cookie monster who went to Burger Kind and had a couple Whopper meal deals and then to McDonals where he bought twenty-five boxes of mini-chocolate-chip cookies and ate them all. He spent the whole night going on a cookie binge. He raided a convenience shop eating every cookie in the place before the owner could get out his rifle. He then broke into peoples homes and ate as many cookies as he could find. He broke the glass door of a super market and ate a couple metric tons of danish butter cookies and double cream oreos. But it wasn't enough.

Out of money and with no other places to buy cookies he regurgetated the cookies he had eaten earlier so that he could chew on the cud so that a bit of the flavour of the half digested cookies would roll over his taste buds. He begane to choke on the cut and then gagged most of the rest of it, relieving most of his stomache. He choked on his vomit and almost died, except that...muppets can't die, unless its of disease, or unless another muppet eats you. Grover found him later, brought him home and then cleaned him up. They then left for the studio for the big meeting.

Meeting with the executive

They sat around a nice table with various executives wearing nice ties. The muppets mostly stared at their ties as they couldn't see their faces from where they sat, being super short and all. The vice president offered them a large bowl filled with M&Ms. Everyone declined, they hadn't felt hungry in days. Except cookie monster, who ate the whole bowl, M&Ms going into his mouth and flying around the room, into the executives faces, against the window, into Grovers blank face, staring deep into the past. The executive asked them about their weekend, the weather, smiled. "You are really important to us you know" he said with a greasy smile. They all crawled onto the table so they could see the executives in the eye. The sceen was a little terrifying, imagine a group of furry muppets slowly getting onto a table in unison without any apparant agreement to do so, like they could communicate with each other by thinking it.

The vice president told them he would do something about the chairs for their next meeting. He asked Grover about his trip to New York a few days earlier. "Big Bird" said grover. There was extreme silence. A silence that made noise, it was so quiet. "Sorry" said the vice president. "Big Bird" he said again. "Big Bird is out of the show. We all agree" he said. Each of the muppets staring the vice-president into the eye. He had a bad feeling in his stomache, in fact a little higher, maybe even in his heart, his tiny heart that barely beat once a minute. "Well...I'm...I'm" he staggered. "If there isn't anything else, we have to go and inform the writers" said Bert. The vice presidents looked at each other feeling the akwardness, that feeling when you know theres something going on and you are the only person who doesn't get it. A tear rolled down Oscar the Grouch's cheech and landed on the table. The noise was the sound of a dump truck falling from the sky and landing ontop of an atom bomb. The moment of quiet afterwards was louder than the big bang. The muppets slowly and akwardly wriggled onto their chairs and then climbed down to the ground and walked out. The vice-presidents watched as they all made their way to the door, unable to reach the handle they opened the giant door and passed each other on the way out. The vice presidents looked at each other with bewilderment. One vice president broke the strange silence "Ernie is totally the bitch" he said. "Yeah...he's totally the bitch" agreed the others. The vice presidents then called the secretary in to take notes and then give them all blow jobs while they ate sushi and drew naked pictures of each other with giant nipples.