User:Shabidoo/Anti christmas
Anti Christmas is held on the 25th of June. While not exactly half way through the year between the ay of Christmas and the 25th of June, Anti Christmas is considered the opposite extreme end of the year to the Christmas period and is celebrated that way. While customs differ from region to region the general spirit of the Anti Christmas season includes stealing things from ones loved ones, creating a general atmosphere of non-cheer and forcing ones employees to work and extensive amount of time beyond the legal limits of their contract.
History[edit | edit source]
Anti Christmas was first celebrated in Bethlehem by a group of tired looking and unpopular school kids who were intelectualy gifted, rich and jaded by life and society. They were the first people to attack Christmas for its popular-commercial nature and boycotted the eveni even though no one noticed. It is speculated that these three young men were actually the Three wise kings that visited Jesus on his birth as a joke to show everyone how rediculous the virgin conception was. Unbeknownst to them, their names are sung every year as heroes and proof of Jesus' divine birth, torturing them every year in their post-life homes in the after life.
The Anglo-Saxon Tradition[edit | edit source]
In most anglo saxon homes, people celebrate Christmas by boarding themselves into their houses and keeping all television sets off and watching reruns of Star Trek on their laptops for 36 hours until the songs and parties and Christmas lights are over. They then slowly count down the six months until Anti-Christmas day. On anti-Christmas day people sleep in until at least two in the afternoon. They try to avoid one another so that there are no smiles or good tidings and usually eat a microwaved dinner one at a time in the livingroom while watching re-runs of Who's the Boss? Instead of giving gifts, they will usually pull pranks on each other, but not the friendly funny kind. Tricks involving the destruction of loved posessions, stealing each others money and getting each other fired from work. The day hopefuly ends by getting drunk, breaking into ones parents home, waking everyone up and blaming them for all the problems in their lives.
The Continental Tradition[edit | edit source]
Anti christmas is celebrated in Europe by generaly living the day in the oposite way they normaly live. One wakes up and first takes their yearly shower. They then start the day off by reading the news praising the United States for the order and joy it brings to the world and then drives carefuly into the center signaling wherever they go. They work quietly and hard without taking any breaks working until nine in the evening. Once at home they also eat proessed food while belching and farting throughout the meal, especially one's grandmother.
The muslim tradition[edit | edit source]
Anti-Christmas is celebrated by muslims jaded by their religion, forced to practice it with the threat of murder if they don't. Such muslims meet