User:Seacow

Seacow is the name bestowed upon a person, chosen at random, who will do something at some point in his/her life. This Seacow is the first, and most likely last, to have this moniker.

Embryo Years

Seacow had a happy time as a slimy embryo left on the street. During these days, a stray dog ate part of the embryo, leading to issues later in his life.

Early Childhood

A young Seacow learns the terrible truth of his upbringing.

Seacow was raised by a loving couple whom he thought were his parents. Unfortunately, on his 3rd birthday, Seacow learned from a secret Cat Agent that he had been adopted. Upon further research, he learned that his father had been a door to door salesman who accidentally came to Chuck Norris's house when he was having group sex. His mother died from a bad case of virginity. Upon realizing this, Seacow also learned that he must have also been adopted by that family. In attempts to find his real parents, he discovered that they were a pair of zombies.

Teen Days

Seacow lived on a healthy diet of brains, until he and his family were confronted by the police on the recent murders. His parents were killed again, and Seacow ran away. He decided to become a vigilante and fight against the law. And thus he became C, standing for Clairvoyance. Wait, what doe that mean? On his very first mission, he was shot to death.

Undeath

Seacow (right)as a teenager.

Due to his family line, Seacow was prone to becoming the living dead. He woke up and dug out of his grave, now a zombie like his parents. Ever since, Seacow has wandered the Earth in search of brains to eat. Now he is Z, standing for Zenophobic.

Seacow, risen from the dead.

Naming Crisis

In the midst of his brain-eating exploits, Seacow decided that maybe the Z should stand for Zombie. He discarded this, however, remaining as Zenophobic.

Racial Changes

Emmanuel, formerly known as Seacow and Zenophobe.

Seacow, due to a dog eating part of his embryo, constantly changes his race. As a baby and toddler, he was white, but quickly turned black during his teen years. He was also white during the first period of his zombiehood, but at one point became a Mexican. this has cured him of his zombie appearance. Curiously, each time his race changes, Seacow regains his virginity, allowing him to lose it multiple times. He has lost his virginity once and had sex three more times during his white period, had sex ten times during his black period, never lost his virginity as a zombie, and had sex twenty times as Emmanuel.

Scentists predict that during his first Asian period, Seacow will look like this.

Death

The notorious culprit.

Seacow met a fortune-teller who predicted his death. Seacow will wander into Florida, where copyright-infringed manatees will corner him and set him on fire. Seacow will jump into the water trying to put the fire out. He thinks he is safe until a motorboat shreds him to ribbons, fitting with his moniker. This will be during his Indian period, which will come after his Asian period.