User:Scottd

“There are two good things in life, large amounts of bread and Scott Day oh and wine!”

~ French on Scott Day

“What a amazing man!”

~ Oscar Wilde on Scott Day

“Bub Bub Bub Buba!”

~ Aliens on Scott Day

“Don't make me send out the flying monkey's!”

~ Germany on Scott Day

“I hate you but God Dammit do I respect You!”

~ Green Goblin on Spiderman Scott Day

“He is a amazing person, we should worship him”

~ Scott Day (No relation) on Scott Day

Scott Day is entitled to some respect, after fighting in 2 world wars, 3 unconventional wars, and pushing a plane single handedly away from the twin towers people should understand Scott Day is a fragile man. You should not try to find him or kill him, because he will eat you before you get the chance.

History

Scott Day was born on the 25th of December 0AD, in a small stable in Jerusalim. He worked as a mircle man saving the real jesus from imminent death and posed as a stunt double when Jesus was crisified. He later invented the plane and sold the idea to the Wright brothers and moved to Britian inventing the steam train. He did little between August and September apart saving the Queen twice, the great Green Goblin diaster of 1914'. He later invented the following:
Water
Music
Life
The Dictionary
Northern Hemisphere
The Government
Birds
Nuclear Power
Karma
Computers
The internet
The Us Army (Later a regret)
Toys r' Us
Wikipedia
Lost Series 1
The Letters D,A and Y
Gravity
The Moon
Emoition
Monty Python
The televison
Electricty
The pencil Case
The world which was actually made in 5 days cause they were the working days he took saturday off to go swimming
Rome
The Fat Lady That sings
Lypo Suction
The Anti-Boblet Repellent
The Anti-Anti Boblet Repellent
The Anti-Anti-Anti Boblet Repellent
The Anti-Death Pill
The Joke: Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm?

Answer: Being raped<<<<yes its true it is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm....the Mighty Scott Day Should know...

The invention of water

Scott Day was stumbling through the newly developed world, when suddenly he realised he couldn't breath. He immediately invented oxygen which allowed him to breath, but he was bored so he also took two H's from the name of two Mammoths and added to oxygen. The invented H2O, a substance in which all of us need to live today. Many people refuse to believe that Scott Day invented water because otherwise how would he have survived with out it, by 0AD (When he was born there were no Mammoths left) and people do not like the idea of drinking mammoth hair. Scott Day refuses to comment.

The invention of the Fat Lady who sings

A artists impression of the fat lady

It was late 1408 when Scott Day was introduced to a rather large woman who waddled around like a penguin. Scott Day had heard that the lady was so fat she could do little but waddle around, she could not talk, smell or hear. Her fat had squeezed her lungs down and had crushed her voice box. When Scott Day was asked: When will he stop being such a amazing person he replied: 'When the Fat lady sings', after Scott Day invented Lypo Suction and the fat lady could sing he quickly took back his comment.

When Day met Gericke

Scott Day was of 12 years old when he met another 12/13 year old named Matthew Gericke. Matthew came from a country in the south of the world, Scott Day invented the Northern hemisphere but not the southern one, so Scott was interested in what Matt had to say. Scott liked to hang around with Matt cause it made Scott look better than he was, but soon Matt helped Scott invent items inculding the nail clipper, the French and the Red Hot Chilli Peppers.Many later ties have been found with Matthew Gericke including thier joint book: The nutritional benefits of nose picking. There are no known pictures of Matt Gericke because he supposeadly died when he was pushed from his hotel balcony at aproxamatly 7:15pm, no witneses have come forward at this point in time. However Scott made a statement saying 'I was not in Matts room at aproxamatly 7:15 and i was not pushing things off the edge of the balcony to see what sound they made when they hit the concrete below' he later tried to climb out of a bathroom window during his questioning. Still the police are hot on the criminals trail. The suspect has now been named as Yad Ttocs.This does not mean Scott Day is not a legened, the sound Matt made when he hit the ground is now used in the 'Rape Alarm' Scott Day invented.

The Great Goblin Diaster of 1914

Scott Day was informed by the MI6 that the queen was going to be assinated by Batman, this was a lie, infact it was the Green goblin's secret plan. Scott Day dressed up as Spider man to disguise himself and threw the green goblin through a mirror. Not many people heard of Scott Days heroic victory over the Green Goblin as it was a secret. Shhhhhh. Scott Day later relased a statement saying:

'Mabye I did throw that particular Goblin through that particular mirror, but the law hasn't seem to have caught up with me yet.'

The Invention of Music

Scott Day was deeply dissapointed in the 80's after his invention of Music was destroyed by the sound of music film, he thought it was a good film until the children got away. Later the cast were mysterious killed. Shhhh. It was 1901 then Scott Day used a tissue box and somerubber bands and made a guitar. He strummed away and soon became famous. Due to his elf like ears he nicknamed himself Elvis, but got bored and ate alot and pretened to commit suicide, litle did they know he had just moved away.

Scott Day and the wizard of Oz

Scott Day's connection with wizard of Oz runs back to late 50's where he was introduced to whole gang. Scott Day oringinally followed the yellow road to complain of its grotesque colour and the anoying music. Soon he began to be chased by flying monkey, a tin man and a lion diagnosed as a maniac depressive. It was later found out that actually Scott had torn out his heart. The mysterious diaasperence of the Wizard of Oz was that confirmed by the Police as a 'Real Mystery'.

World Wars

During the first world war Scott Day assited many of the 1st battlion in Belgium to stop the Germans advancing, Scott Day single handedly caputured a German camp killing everyone inside whilst dragging around 40 wounded Belgium citizens and the whole wounded battlion that he was in. This is where he was supposed to have gained his supersonic strength after stopping a early Nuclear prototype German missle with his foot. The radiation mutated his muclses and he became the strongest man in the World. The succes in Belgium was later destroyed by the annual French Sychronised Surrendering competition and Scott Day was forced to go back with his battlion to the Somme. The somme was where Scott Day stood back in the trenches hitting German artillery away with a baseball bat, he found cricket bats too weak and did not have the time to break them in. He also fought at: The Battle Of Jutland (Scott Day killed: 4 destroyers 6 U Boats (With a rifle) Injuries: Broken toenail) The battle at Verdun ( Went back and forth from The Somme to Verdun carrying hot choclate and bread yum yum) The battle at Gallypolly (He destroyed 8 forts and killed over 10000000 turkish until he got told to hop in a boat and row off back to Eggland)

In the second world war Scott Day's invention of the aeroplane came into action to shoot down the German flying monkeys. A World war poster by the Germans was publised showing the German general scaring Belgium children about the German 101st division of flying monkeys (Shown below).

Scott Day and the bringing around of EBAY

Scott Day was working late one night in his bomb proof shed until he went on to the computer (Of which he invented), logged onto the internet(of which he invented) and yelled at the microsoft software(which he will take no responsilbilty for invetenting). Scott day began to create a website on which people could have the expiernce of a auction without going to a old hall that smells of hot Granny sick. He sold items that he had invented such as the table and the pythagorus theorm. He then sold the idea to the creaters of EBAY who then made a big website. Scott Day brought the first ever item off of ebay to only find out that it had run out of ink and was genrally rubbish. Ever since ebay detoriated. Scott Day later used the pen in the first ever nuclear powered crushing machine.

Bill Gates and the big mistake of 88'

Bill Gates seen before the attack on Scott Day

Scott Day was walking in the streets of the Ghetto in New York when a tramp with big glasses and sleeping in bin bags attacked him, Scott Day used his super strength that he gained during the world war to push the smelly man away, however Scott Day was on his way to a volcano to cast the plans for microsoft back to the horrible place from which it was made. Unfortunatly the tramp (namely Bill Gates) stole the plans and later created the software that was on the plan that was meant to be destroyed. Scott day takes no responilibilty for creating the original plans and released a statement: 'I am so sorry so so sorry, there were meant to burn, I promise!'

Scott Day the Movie

Clips of Scott Day the Movie starring Tom Hanks and Brad Pitt

In 1989 George Clooney set out to make a movie about the Life of Scott Day. With a cast of Tom Hanks, Brad Pitt,Bruce Willis, Mel Gibson and the cast of friends they set out to make the movie that is respectable to reflect his amazing life. Scott day complained that Brad Pitt was not good enough to play Scott Day, and in the end Tom Hanks was dragged in to play him. They were not payed for the film as it ws such a honor to be playing the parts. The film remains a mystery as it was never released because it was said it was so amazing, it would blow everyones mind (Accountable for the deaths of Courtney Cox, Jennifer Allistion and Tom Hanks) it literally blew the actors apart when they watched it. Howver parts of the film have said to have accounted as scenes in batman returns, spiderman,Forest Gump, Braveheart, Apollo 13, Catch Me if you can, War of the worlds and Saving private Ryan. It also introduced the songs- You've got a friend in me, Who let the dogs out and you ain't nothing but a hounddog all in the soundtrack. Quotes from the film:
'Run Scotty Run!' also 'RUN into the FOREST RUN!'
'Huston, we have a problem'
'I will be back'
'YOU'RE A PLASTIC PLAY THING!'

Luke P and charlie

Luke P another one of Scott's asossiates was born and raised by the red hot chilli peppers, later meeting Scott in the Las Vegas Underground, Scott Day allowed Luke to befriend him and taught Luke many tricks on how to be strong without being caught in a Nuclear explosion as Scott had. Scott introduced the concepts of muscle and healthy eating to Luke. Luke choose to ignore the healthy eating advice and eats up to 5 chocolate bars a day. Scott felt sorry for him and made it possible for luke to eat as much as he wants and not put on any wieght. Yet another miricale from the Mighty Scott. Nowadays Luke can be found around the British town of Epsom, hypnotised by the band that raised him from a child.

CHARLIE also another assosate is Chalres Tribble who is a beast and would happaly eat him charlie as he is known is a 16 stone fat/strong rugby player prop who is the heavyest on the team. mr gallimore once named him as a freindly giant this is not the case as he would happly smash enyone in his way, scott met charlie in his local habitat while feasting on an oxe

chalrlie is constantly putting on weight.

Scott Day- The author years

Scott Day grew old and began to write books, many of which were not published in England, Australia, Europe, North America, Canada, South America, Asia or New Zealand, Japan, Malaysia, Singapore etc. Howver they made a hit in Antartica and sold like hot cakes except the hot cakes would be cold.. cause its in Antartica. The books include:
Do it yourself Lyposuction
How to cheat Univesity
How to kill complete strangers- and get away with it
Fast Track to prison
Perfecting the art of Fart projection
Do it yourself Dentistry- Minimal blood loss, 12 easy steps using household items
How to make your Grandmother a porn star