User:Sbluen/Jack and the bean tree

In a day long gone, there lived a widow and her young son, Jack. Winter had been long and harsh causing their food supply to dwindle. The cupboards were almost bare. They would usually sell their chickens eggs to buy their food. One day the chicken didn't lay any eggs. The widow said, "We are out of money. No one will give us a job. We can't buy food. Food doesn't grow on trees! We have only one thing left to sell. Go to town and sell our last chicken, Eggy White. Bring me back some good money."

Jack walked over to town. Along the way, he met a smirking swindler. He gave Jack 6 beans for the chicken. The swindler didn't know about the beans or the chicken. Jack ran home to show his mother how great the beans were. When he showed his mother the beans, she said, "You stupid boy, I said to get money and you got these nuts! You're going to bed without dinner!" She almost ate the last bean before she decided to cast a quick spell to identify it. After having identified the bean, she was happy to know the bean was magical. She quickly planted the bean to grow food, but to her surprise, the next day, a bean tree instead of a beanstalk stood where she had planted the bean. She said, "You'll be hungry until the bean tree makes some food. In the meantime, look! I found some packages of dragon jerky under this plank of wood."

Jack climbed the bean tree all the way up the bean tree. Along the way toward the castle, he was eating his jerky. At the top he found himself on the clouds. He looked around. Through the mist Jack saw a sky castle. He opened the door and once inside he saw a two-headed giant. Jack walked past the sleeping giant. The second head of the giant woke up, picked Jack up, and whispered to jack, "this will be the last thing you eat." He then forced a pound of candy bars from his nightstand into Jack's mouth, even though Jack was no longer hungry after eating the jerky. He then limped to the kitchen with the other head still asleep, and shoved Jack into the oven. He then read a book. He forgot to close the oven door. The first head of the giant woke up and said,

"For-Fi-Foe-Foy I smell the blood of a dragon boy!"

The second head interrupted and said, "He is cooking already, how about we count our treasure?" The first head said, "Ok, let's get it out.", and the giant took out several bags of treasure. Then the giant emptied a bag onto the table and starting counting it. He organized the treasure into stacks of coins and piles of mithril, adamant, and precious gemstones. Soon the giant fell asleep. Jack crawled out of the oven and took a bag of mixed treasure and left through the castle's front door. He took his bag of treasure and dropped it through the clouds. He slept behind the beanstalk on a cloud (and it felt like sleeping on a cloud!).

The next day, Jack ate the bean trees beans. He then had lots of gas. He went in the castle again and watched the giant through a door slit. The giant took out a crystal harp with golden strings from a closet. Jack thought it must be very valuable. The first head told the harp to play the song, "We Will Rock You", then a lullaby, and the harp played both. The two-headed giant fell asleep when the harp played the lullaby. Jack took the harp and he accidentally rubbed the strings and the sound of the harp woke the giant. It's first head said,

"For-Fi-Foe-Foy I smell gas from a bean eating boy!"

It's second head interrupted again and said, "You ate him already! Try to sleep some more." Jack snuck past the giant when it went back to sleep, being careful not to touch the strings of the harp. He carried the harp down on his shoulders and showed the harp to his mother. She asked where he was getting all the items he had brought home. Jack answered, "At cheap auctions."

Jack decided to climb back up the beanstalk once again. Standing near the castle, he heard the giants talking. The first head said, "I'm thirsty, we're getting chocolate milk!" The giant ran outside with a giant cup and milked a brown cow over it. Jack hid in a cranny out of the giant's view. While the giant was milking, Jack ran inside and took a very long rope and a set of pulleys from the castle. After the giant went inside, Jack used the rope and pulleys to pull the cow towards the bean tree. The sound of the cow's moo alerted the giant. Its first head said,

"For-Fi-Foe-Foy I smell the blood of a burglar boy, Be he alive, or be he dead, I'll grind his bones and enough said."

The second head said, "Go after him, we can't have him stealing our stuff." Jack continued to pull the cow toward the bean tree. He carried the cow down as quickly as he could. The giant ran after him with a milk mustache and started to climb down the bean tree. It's second head said, "This would be much easier with our rope." Then it's first head said, "Quit you're whining and move faster, that boy stole our long rope with our cow!".

Jack ran to get an axe from his shed. Unfortunately, the axe was broken and under the bag of treasure that had fallen from the sky to the ground. Fortunately, the first head of the giant made his leg go faster than the leg of the other head, causing the giant to trip and fall. The giant fell and crashed through the house and the barn. The crown on the first giant's head broke. The giant was stuck in the ground.

Its two heads were arguing about whose speed, delay, and whining caused them to fall and break their crown. The heads were so busy arguing they didn't even think about trying to get out of the ground. The bag of treasure was used by Jack and the widow to pay for a circus around the giant, a new house, and the lawsuit about giving the swindler a sick and dying chicken. The money made from selling tickets was used to buy food for them, and meat and bread made from ground dragon bones for the giant to eat. The giant had to be fed so that it would keep arguing and wouldn't remember how to escape. Jacks grandparents made the sky castle into a hotel. The harp was used to make music to attract the people. The cow provided refreshments to the spectators. The destruction caused by the giants fall— the smashed house and barn— was put into galleries, along with the axe.