User:Rickle Pick/Sorry, English is not my first language
I am deeply sorry[edit | edit source]
Before I continue, I sincerely apologize to anyone who has even the slightest of trouble correctly comprehending my speech patterns, for English is not my mother tongue. Due to this fact, I will theoretically unfortunately be unable to properly convey the beliefs and thoughts I hold in a way that most native speakers will understand.
That which I state has the possibility of confusing others, so I followed through with the decision to create this warning that I have implemented into this body of text. Seeing as I come from and developed my vocal production units in a place in which not a single English speaker resides, I am a foreigner to the concept of this language and its way of writing. So please, forgive me for any misunderstandings I incite, and if possible and reasonable, provide me with the information I require to improve upon my grammatical correctness.
To clarify[edit | edit source]
Whilst speaking as of late I do not intend to offend, discomfort, or induce any negative emotion of the sort which will lead to some form of disgust emanating from the individual or individuals I do or do not direct my speech towards. Due to my grammatical imperfection, there is at least somewhat of a high probability which will lead to such occurring. If that is the case, I assure you it was purely accidental and send my condolences to those who were affected. Again, in the case of any unpleasantries I have caused, please forgive me for I was not brought up via the writings of the English language.
More clarification[edit | edit source]
Simply to be extra certain that all which I utter elicits its intended meaning, I have decided to compose a few extra sections of apologetic and eludicative information. I hope that none present (or absent, for that matter) will come to the conclusion that I am maligned in my desires; rather, I wish to seek your full understanding of the displayed statements at hand.
Even more clarification[edit | edit source]
However[edit | edit source]
I suspect that I may have caused significant distress in many (maybe all) of you, as my foreign (and probably broken) English may sound exotic or dangerous; truly a despicable mistake on my own part.
Rest assured[edit | edit source]
I must have you all be certain, I mean no harm.
Do remind me[edit | edit source]
If my English
Admonishment[edit | edit source]
It is encouraged, in the form of constructive criticism, or even anger if the situation demands it. Worry not of my emotional pain, for I do believe that I deserve it, considering all the heinous acts I have committed in my futile attempts to articulate rightly. Nondissimilar indeed to the atrocious, disgraceful idiocy of the winners of the Darwin Awards.
In fact, you don't even have to forgive me[edit | edit source]
Maybe I don't want you to forgive me[edit | edit source]
Go ahead, say it, I'm wretched. I'm terrible. Detestible, reprehensible. Shameful. Egregious, perhaps even contemptible. Or odious, for that matter. Wicked, you might think, villainous even. Loathsome, iniquitous, ghastly, execrable. Flatigious. Nefarious. For all you know I could be Machiavellian.
Now that I think about it, I'm not sorry[edit | edit source]
Fuck you, you shitty fuckshit. I don't give a shit anymore. Suck my balls, you twat. Eat my damn shorts. Bite my immigrant fleshy fucking ass.