User:Rexisfed/Precrastination
“I really feel like updating this page.”
“Oscar's got it all wrong, it's the act of masturbating while neglecting to do one's math homework.”
“Shut the hell up.”
Precrastination is the act of masturbating while neglecting to do one's math homework. However, the word is often confused with the act of wanting to do things people would not normally want to do, such as having sex with giraffes.
Precrastination in Pop Culture[edit | edit source]
There once lived a man by the name of Joe in the land of China, sometime around the year 1000 B.C. Joe had a friend named Fred. An ancient stone tablet was discovered somewhere near their place of residence that depicted one of their conversations in ancient chinese.
TRANSLATED
- Joe: Hey Fred! What's up?
- Fred: Joe, I have two apples and I ate one. I need your help. Can you tell me how many I have left?
END OF TRANSLATION
The rest of the writing on the stone tablet was covered in semen, so it is assumed that Joe began masturbating at this point. (Note: The conversation written above was not translated by professionals, but rather, monkeys. Because of this, the conversation may not be 100% accurate.)
Precrastination in Popular Culture[edit | edit source]
Despite the fact that precrastination was invented in Popcorn Culture (what ancient chinese people called Beijing, according to our monkeys), there are many referances to it in modern Popular Culture.
- Tom Cruise once said "I've finally overcome precrastination. I mean procrastion."
- An episode of SpongeBob SquarePants is titled "Procrastination." This is an obvious parody of precrastination.
But What Exactly IS Precrastination?[edit | edit source]
Precrastination is the art of masturbating while neglecting to do one's math homework.