User:RabbiTechno/TechnoShed/30dos/P2
The plane lands in Anchorage, and as you walk down the steps to the tarmac you realise the error of your ways. Holy pissing Mother of Christ, is it bloomin' freezing in Alaska! Bet the Seychelles don't seem such a bad idea now, eh? Oh well, at least it's not France, no matter how cold it's got to be better than St. Tropez and the garlic-munchers.
Bang! Hey, look where you're going, 'tard - you just walked into a wall! How the hell did you not see that? Oh yeah - because it's dark. But it's only 3pm! You check to make sure you haven't gone blind and discover this is not the case. Somewhere, deep in the alcohol-pickled dim recesses of your sub-standard mind, a chronically under-used neurone stirs into life and accesses that scratchy old 3megabyte hard drive you refer to as your memory. Hmm - you seem to recall something your teacher said in a Geography class back when you were 13, something about how in the far north, during winter, it stays dark all day. Damn, this is gonna be a crappy holiday! Maybe you should have actually listened to the teacher instead of attempting to make Christina Jenkins' - the girl who used to sit in front of your desk in the classroom - blouse vanish using nothing but your mental powers, eh? Perve. Never mind, you live and learn. Deciding you may as well make the best of a bad job you make for the first store you can find and buy some seriously warm clothing.
"Will sir be requiring anything else?" asks the shop-keeper as you hand over your credit card. You're slightly confused as to why an Alaskan store-worker should talk like a 1950s English shop-keeper, but you have a quick glance around and notice that the store sells a lot of other stuff besides clothes.
What do you buy?
P4 A chainsaw. Well, you always wanted one, and they've got a special offer on.
P5 A gun. Hot damn, these lax US gun laws are so great!
P6 A pack of condoms - you heard somewhere that Alaskan girls are hawt.