User:Puppy/Template:Lead articles 2
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GREAT PLAINS, USA – According to experts, the fruited plain isn't fruited any longer. A protracted drought has ruined corn and other crops across the Great Not-So-Great Plains, prompting the Obama administration to declare half the counties in the United States “national disaster areas,” an identification that should unleash a flood of federal funds.
“As president, I am going to all I can do to end this drought and restore America's fertility,” President Obama declared.
PARIS, France -- With the Olympics still ongoing and having never been a fan since the first Olympics in Greece, I thought I'd go to an art gallery. Some art galleries are just for "show" - the Louvre in Paris is an example. They don't sell works to anyone. It is so humiliating to casually stroll in being cool: "I'll just take that Mona painting... Oh it's not is it?... When might you sell it?"
OLYMPUS MONS, Mars -- Angry Martians have complained to the Supreme Solar System Court about 'invasions of privacy' by the space mission from the joint NASA/Google Mars project 'Curiosity Chrome Intruder'. President Ziggy Arachnid of Mars formally lodged a complaint when the latest remote Mars explorer was successfully landed on the 'red planet' last Monday.
CHINA -- The brash leader of Chinese gang The Crazy 88 has admitted to fatally poisoning a globalist banker, blaming the “Anglo-American Collectivist Conspiracy” as well as “gold and banking fraud” for her actions, state news reported. The largely ignored murder trial of Lucy Liu took place Thursday, adjourning in the afternoon for Dim Sum without the announcement of a verdict in spite of her guilty boasting.
Hollywood, USA -- Stephen Martin was born in 1945. In 1947, he wrote a book about being born in 1945 - a description of "how" it happened. By the 1950's, Steve was already working for Walt Disney - he wrote a full biography on the theme park king and "how" it happened (Walt went nuts). By the 1960's, Stevie was now writing comedy for the Smothers Brothers - he wrote TWO books: Writing for Smothers and "How" to Smother your Brother. By the 1970's, a few people began to show up for his comedy show and he wrote a diary about "how" he got people to show up to his comedy show and "how" to avoid them afterwards.