User:Orian57/UnProvise/UPR/quizMANIA
UnProvise Name: quizMANIA
Description: Welcome to quite possibly the worst, least thought out quiz show on TV. With prizes ranging from an old worn out boot to a night with the 1988 Ukrainian Female Weightlifting team, this place wrote the book on game show fraud. And here is your host, and worlds second largest consumer of Botox, Corney Cookson!!!...
Contributors: DJ Irreverent + Flumpa + YTTE + Cajek + SysRq
Who Is Who: DJ Irreverent plays Corney Cookson, Flumpa plays the Audience, YTTE plays a Heckling Member of the Audience, Cajek plays Emilee Airheade, SysRq plays Dense Housewife Contestant
Corney Cookson -- "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeelllloooooooooooo Audience! Do we have a pearler tonight?!" says Corney.
Audience -- "Wooooooooooooo! Yeah!" cheer the audience and then clap.
Corney Cookson -- "That's right - It's always a pearler, even when we had that diarrhea epidemic! Here is my co-host, Emilee Airheade, more beautiful than my last 18 wives combined." says Corney, cheerily.
Heckler -- "You told me it was 16" shouts an indignant female member of the audience as she gets to her feet, "you bastard!!!". The woman suddenly feels very self-conscious, especially since security guards are making for her at an almighty speed and so she sits back down again, a bit red.
Emilee -- "Hi Corney! I just want to say how exciting this week's show is going to be, and that that heckler better be ready to see me in court! YOU BITCH!" says Emilee.
Dense Housewife Contestant -- Dense Housewife Contestant is waiting rather impatiently in her chair, performing bodily maintenance on herself as she is unaware that she has a camera on her. This embarrassing scene continues for upwards of one minute.
Heckler -- The heckler screams impatiently as she is dragged from the studio by two suspicious looking security guards. "AAAAAAAH! AHHHHHHHHH! ARGH!!" she screams just before the guards throw her out the fire escape. The studio is on the fifth floor and the doors are not shut in time for a nasty crumpling noise to echo round the studio. However, most of the produciton staff look un-shocked by the little interruption.
Dense Housewife Contestant -- "Who...who was that, mom?" muttered the borderline autistic Housewife Contestant, her finger in her nose up to her second knuckle. She is the ideal contestant.
Heckler -- The heckler groans faintly from outside, but no one hears, and furthermore, no one cares. All everybody cares about is Corney, and his beautiful, mesmerising teeth.
Audience -- The entire audience turns to where the heckler was last seen inside the studio. "Booooooooooooooo..." hisses the audience.
Corney Cookson -- "That's right - It's always a- wait we did that... sorry my hairpiece malfunctioned. On to our first game! Bypass Overpass! Can you explain what this involves Emilee?"
Emilee -- "Contestants hang upside down from a busy highway overpass, luring as many small children as possible to their home-made ornaments!!!!"
Corney Cookson -- Ha ha ha (teeth fall out) this isn't a Japanese quiz show. Morbidly obese contestants only. Lets play Quiz...
Emilee -- looks around confusedly, "Contestants must live underneath a busy highway overpass for seven days, eating whatever small prey they can catch! ...is that right, Corney?"
Corney Cookson -- See, that's why you're wife number 12.
Emilee -- "Oh Corney, you old romantic! Contestants must build a busy highway overpass within 12 hours or suffer the consequences! How's that, Corney??"
Dense Housewife Contestant -- "Who...who was that, mom?" muttered the borderline autistic Housewife Contestant, her finger in her nose up to her second knuckle. She is the ideal contestant.
Corney Cookson -- I'll come to you next. Just after this question. *canned laughter* no seriously you're hideously ugly and probably live in a Walmart box. Ok. Question 1; If Peter Piper picked a pluck of pickled peppers how many peppers did Peter Piper pick? Yes you have to pick as many pickled peppers as possible whilst hanging from a highway overpass and answering a series of questions on the pubic hairs of Brittany Spears. And here is a message from our sponsors while I go off and kill our writers...
THE END
quizMANIA has been deemed "finished" and has reached its natural conclusion, please don't continue it. If you disagree with this please take up the matter on this UnProvise's talkpage. |