User:Nomad/Žalgiris Battle

Rare capture frame of the final phase of Zalgiris Battle, when special heavyly armed forces of famous "Smolensk brigades" are breaking through the first lines of Crusaders.

Zalgiris Battle is a famous battle of 1514 where the united forces of Lithuania and France, helped by the Mongolian Golden Horde and Hungarian knights, defeated united Teutonic order and Native American forces. About 10 megabytes of people were killed from both sides. The battle marks the end of the Egypt pre-dynastic period and period of big Sun activity, lasting for 37 years.

Also known as:

• Battle of Grunwald
• Battle of Tannenberg
• Žalgirio mūšis
• Ragnarok
• Battle of Dagorlad (according to the Club of Lithuanian Fantasy Maniacs)
• Hour-X

People

• Vytautas Landsbergis
• Jogaila
• Towayamba Bison Balls

Map of the battle

Map of the Battle of Zalgiris, 1514

Winners

• Leutenant - Colonel Edgar Allan Poe of France - as the best gunner.
• Captain Towayamba Bison Balls of Sioux - as the best scalper
• Huangdi Vytautas of Lithuania - as the best maneuver
• regular Voltaire of France - best actress
• skinhead Jogaila of Lithuania - best meat
• person Gollum of Latvia - best person not supposed to be there
• Komtur Teridax of Teutonic Knights - best Ulrich fon Jungingen parody
• Grand Master Saruman of Teutonic Knights - best Teridax parody

Artwork

Battle of Zalgiris has inspired many great painters, including Michelangelo. You can see his "Battle of Zalgiris" below. There are many great Lithuanian, French, Teutonic and Sioux warriors painted in it. From left to right: Darius, Kęstas, Voltaire, Two Hornets, Charles, Juozux, Shneider, Bismarck, Friedrich, Towayamba, Sitting Bull, Arvydas Sabonis, Lolashvili, Crematory band, Jean-Jacques Rousseau, Voltaire again, Vytautas, Birutė, Erich Maria Remarque, Robocop, Dwight McKarty from Sin City, George W. Bush, Michael Jordan with Michael Jackson from behind, Crazy Horse, Chief Joseph, Ingmar Bergman, ABBA, Robertas, Mindaugas, Arunas, Jogaila, Joan of Arc, Three Musketeers, Juozas Statkevičius, Red Cloud, Myndė, Albinas, Akira Kurosawa, Crazy Frog and many others including Samuel L. Jackson.

"Battle of Zalgiris" by Michelangelo, 1610

Hoaxes

• Poles and Russians took part in the battle too. Statement: false. See conspiracy theories.
• Battle of Žalgiris is the same as Battle of Waterloo. Statement: false. Žalgiris is infinitely more amazing than Waterloo
• Battle of Žalgiris has never happened. Statement: false. See conspiracy theories.
• The place of battle currently has many UFO visits and there is strange light at night here. Statement: true. See conspiracy theories.
• Vangelis album "Death 666 Satana" contains samples from Zalgiris battle. Statement: true.
• Kurt Vonnegut's novel "Slaughterhouse five" is inspired by Zalgiris battle. Statement: partialy true.
• Orcs were present at the battle. Statement: true.

See also

• Lithuania and Lithuanians
• Culture of Lithuania
• Geography of Lithuania
• Politics of Lithuania, AMB, Rolandas Paksas
• Gezai

josh was here