User:Nasus the wormhole

BLACK HOLES. A History. Black Holes have been around since at least the beginning of time and some speculate even before that, but how much do we really know about them? The average person certainly has no idea about their many wars and police actions. Hopefully the reader will be educated in a manner by the book in question.

I The Beginning and Reign of Marklar

for further learning there is a video at [1] The earliest days of the black hole society are unclear but to my understanding they go something like this. The first black hole’s name is believed to be Marklar. He was a mighty black hole and used his gigantic size to break off pieces of himself, which became all the black holes in the universe. To those wondering at his size consider this, imagine your galaxy, yes the entire galaxy, now imagine sixteen of them jumbled together in one chaotic mass. This was the size of the mighty Marklar. He became king of his creations for many thousands of years shedding more and more black holes. Soon a young and reckless black hole named Aufugus gathered many young black hole friends and created an army to overthrow Marklar, this army was called the temeraria. They engaged the mighty black hole and suffered great losses, the black holes were sucked into his essence, but all this power was difficult for him to control after shedding it off in pieces for all these years and Aufugus soon felled him in personal combat.

II Age of Aufugus.

This also had a video for increased learings [2] Aufugus, whose name meant something like “he who runs away”, was a mean tyrant who would crush an infidel under his figurative palm. Under his rule the armies of the black holes ate most of the universe, only a lone planet called China gave any resistance. They were a technically advanced planet and stopped the black holes dead in their tracks. The armies were called in and focused their entire energy on the China planet. The battles were great and fierce; at the battle of Okinawa alone the Chinese lost two and one half million people and the black holes three million. The Chinese leader, Kim, ordered the planet evacuated and the entire population scattered with at least six people on any given new planet. This was done and the Black Holes Devoured China. After the Chinese wars, which took several hundred years, Aufugus decided the conquering was over. No more would they eat the enemy planets. Each black hole of any strength was given its own galaxy to rule.

III The Peace Times

This is currently the last one with a video learning helper [File:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgkIH3qp25o] The peace time was a time of prosperity for all but the black holes. They needed the wars to feel alive, but they were reduced to eating any lone traveler that came their way. They would sing a siren’s song to lure the traveler in and then devour the ship. One Black Hole, the ruler of the milky galaxy, Aurora, was kinder to travelers. She Particularly liked one traveler, his name was Jimmy Collins, a courier from the planet of the Apes. He was one of the only ones that were allowed to fly that way so his speed was remarkable. It is said they fell in love and were married. These marriages were very uncommon and usually ended in disaster, but this one seemingly didn’t. They had a child together. Now black hole pregnancies can last up to six thousand years in these circumstances and give birth to a wide variety of creatures. It is said the spawn of a black hole can speak their language and even use their power for teleportation. A spawn of the black holes could also be the salvation for the oppressed, or the terror of the enemies of the black holes. But I digress. During this time of peace many inventions were created by the black holes. One was a power-suppressing unit that made the black holes able to be around solid objects without devouring them. Another simple weapon was created which allowed a black hole to hurl their powers of destruction at a given point in the universe while the black hole remained safe and sound. '

IV NEW WARS'

This peace was not to last, however. The old Aufugus had died and a new leader was in place. His name was Hortus, and he was hungry for power. He used these new weapons to attack the epsilon system. He brought the old Temeraria army, now in its fifteenth generation to take the planet. They sat just outside the system’s defenses and launched the attack. Chaos, horror, death and destruction beyond your wildest reckoning was wrought on the people. These new weapons were powerful indeed. Every single planet in the epsilon system was destroyed. In the words of one survivor, “It was if the sky had fallen on our world. We hurried to escape taking our freighter and not listening to the pleas of thousands of people that we knew we couldn’t save. Oh, it was a dark day for epsilon seven”. On epsilon V it was even said that you could hear someone screaming “KHAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNN!!!!!!!” out into the night. These reports are, as yet, unconfirmed. I have only recently, by a trip to the desolate system, discovered a new black hole power which is an absolute incredulity in itself. The black holes can use the matter they consume, which adds to their own power, to create new objects. It seems they can synthesize almost anything in this manner. The wreckage of the system was turned into a hustling and bustling military outpost where they would launch new attacks against surrounding systems. This they did and with swift authority they crushed the Holland system, the united kingdom of Apple Juice, but were unable to defeat the Galactic Federation of Blondie. This left alone, they were able to conquer at least half of the Milky Way Galaxy unimpeded. I am not able to find any reasons or even any literature on the subject of the Galactic Federation of Blondie but I can say with certainty that it exists. Only one target remained that was worth conquering: The Beer Cloud. The Beer Cloud was a large cloud, impossibly big, where great beings fermented alcohol for their intergalactic bar, the Mary Had A Little too Much to Drink. If they could impose a tax upon this alcohol they would control most of the wealth in the universe. They attacked the fermenting fields and in the war that followed they had accidentally destroyed most of the beer. They were also unable to conquer the giants. Soon, a new beer cloud was discovered and they claimed that one for themselves. The giants were put out of business and the Black holes took over the alcohol trade. So remember, the next time you drink a beer you give money to the black holes.

V WORMHOLES

There was dissent in the ranks of the black hole population because of the way they carelessly destroy and never create or even aid others in their missions. These dissenters became the wormholes. They would, and I believe still do, use their gravitational powers to aid travelers in getting to their destination. There are many followers and loyalists or the wormholes in the typical planet population. They act as consul between them and the worlds and in return the wormholes bestow gifts upon them. The king of the wormholes is known to the universe as Nasus. It is said he can take any form of his choosing and as power beyond reckoning. One scholar in his book a preemptive study on the wormholes lists his powers, “He could disintegrate a bus, tip it over, or propel it at light speed towards an unseen goal. His abilities even exceed that of the black holes. They respect and fear him, though, none have seen his face.”. The weakness they most represent is their failure at gambling. A wormhole cannot bet, win at, or even play cards, they are so irrevocably bad they fail. Most Black Holes despise the wormholes for their altruism and kindhearted spirit. There are, to my knowledge, three wars between the sects of blackholism. The first was over the right to the fermented fields. The Black Holes won that particular war but suffered more total losses at the hands of Nasus. The second war was not between them directly but they took sides in it. The people of the planet of the apes were fighting the people of the delta system. The people from the planet of the apes were heavy drinkers and supplied the Black Holes with a third of their customer base. The Wormholes joined the war on the side of the Deltas. The deltas were very technologically advanced and descendants of the Chinese. The war raged fiercely, seemingly without end. The Black Holes were on the verge of defeat when, from the planet came A New Hope. The Black Hole Aurora had given birth a Hundred years before the war, but the child was not stable, unable to keep a valid shape. Times were desperate and the Black Holes would look to anywhere for soldiers. To correct the issue of his weakness the government of the Planet of the Apes called upon a volunteer. They then fused Mike Collins with him, his name was Allex. This new hybrid was more powerful than any in the universe at that time. The Power was so great it wiped out an entire black hole squadron along with the intended target of the blast. Nasus then traveled personally to the battlefield and faced down Mike Collins. It is not known for sure what happened next but it is believed they stared down and shouted “It’s ON!” in varying tones and intensities for ten years. It seemed they would never stop when, by mutual consent, they silenced and went their separate ways. In the time between wars mike Collins rose to the title of king, displacing old Hortus. He moved on to conquer three systems without the help of even a legion of black hole soldiers. His weakness came back after every time he engaged the enemy and he would need to rest for weeks at a time. This does not seem to deter him or his followers. It is known that his mother took human form and moved to earth. The third war still continues today a small blue planet had achieved space flight, so Mike Collins, now Ignavus, went to the planet to scout it out to see if it was worth conquering. But Nasus was already there...

VI The Current War

Ignavus, now in the prime of power, moved to one of the up and coming countries of the time, which I am sure you are all familiar with; The U.S.S.R.. He took human forms as advisers, politicians, scientists, and military leaders to influence national decisions. It is believed the entire second half of the cold war was “Fought” entirely under his guidance. Unfortunately, he saw the greed of the people could not be appeased, so he abandoned them for other activities. Nasus, meanwhile was influencing the united states during tis time, unaware as to Ignavus’s presence. It was at a time in the millennium when they first realized they were not unopposed. This caused the battle of Tokyo, where they masqueraded as two Godzillae. The city was destroyed. I believe there was a series of movies about this great encounter, but I cannot be sure of their accuracy. They then realized there were descendants of the Chinese on the planet. This cannot have done anything but angered them both. Nasus decided to appeal to the Chinese leader t fight off the black holes, swallowing his great pride. The Leader apparently had no Idea about his history or the history of his people. He took Nasus for a crazy person. Nasus did not get the help he needed from the leader of the Chinese. But a lucky thing was to happen; as Nasus walked home a squirrel approached him and spoke to him. It’s name was Flavus and had come to bring him to his hideout. Once there, Nasus was told of the history of the squirrels and their struggles

vi.v Squirrels

Squirrels came originally from the planet china, escaping of course, from utter destruction as the black holes devoured their planet. Once on earth they devolved into squirrels to avoid catching attention. The squirrels have the amazing power to control evolution and curb it in the way they wanted. They based this devolution on the movie, which was based on the actual planet, The Planet of the Apes. Nasus thanked the squirrels and they began scheming. Their plan was the Particle Decelerator. A device that could alter the very fabric of the Black Holes being. Nasus knew the perfect subject for the first experiment. He had long known the Mater Ignavi; mother of Ignavus had long lived on the planet. She was currently masquerading as a fourteen-year-old girl. Nasus and Flavus quickly searched her out. Upon finding her they quickly captured her using the power of one M. Perry’s Black box. This box, which appears to hold 8 liters, says it holds 22.4 liters. Using this paradoxical power they were able to trap her and use the particle decelerator. The effect was instantaneous; they were wrapped up in a flurry of light, blinding all who witnessed. The Squirrel, in his account, Fabula Flavi, opus maximus, he had this to say “If only we had understood what we were playing with. The creature, aurora was of pure goodness and not prone to this kind of torture, her fabric did alter, but into something quite different and entirely opposite to the wormhole beside me, myself, or even her son, the infamous Ignavus, she had become a white hole. The power emanating from this room could have killed lesser men than M. Perry, Nasus, and myself. We looked on in horror in our creation and no small amount of fear was felt at its presence.” I must cut Flavus’s rendition short for it goes into remarkable irrelevance in several short sentences. It seems, Flavus the Squirrel believed he could power devices by strapping toast to a cat’s back. But I, once again, digress. Aurora then went on to become the most powerful thing in the universe, but took a disliking to black holes and others of their kind. She often amused herself, and I believe still does, by appearing in various pitiable forms and testing the honesty of various people. Ones who fail these tests are brought terrible disaster. Though, those who pass are luxuriously rewarded. Her favorite guise at this time was still that of the fourteen-year-old girl, who attended school regularly. She was, the first White Hole. Ignavus, believing himself to ultimately be stronger than this clearly omniscient being, ordered her destruction. Nasus, pleaded with him to let her be, that he could not destroy her, saying her power stemmed from a different source than theirs. Ignavus would not listen. He gathered up every able-bodied Black Hole in the Milky Way army and sent them at aurora. They were the heirs of the Temeraria army and should do their duties. They found her in the Antarctic continent. The cold was white and placid as her own being. The battle was incredibly fierce and effectively eliminated black hole presence in the Milky Way galaxy. Not in the way you’d expect, though. The Army was devastated by loss of soldiers. But it was what happened to the survivors, that was curious. They were transformed into white holes of negligible strength, only able to grant three wishes then turn into essence to be absorbed by Ignavus for the purpose of recreating the black hole in question. This may seem odd to the reader but I guarantee its truthfulness. She could not bring herself to destroy all of them, so she gave her son the ultimate responsibility; to save his empire he must perform acts of great kindness, for, what is an empire without subjects?

VII THE QUEST AND REIGN OF THE WORMHOLES.

Before I go on I must state that Black Holes experience time differently than us. See, in-between the numbers one and two, there is an infinite amount of smaller numbers ever increasing in their smallness. This is how the black holes can choose to experience time if they wish it. This is one of the ways that Black Holes can seem to bend time, making everything for one who comes near a wild one seem slower and slower. They are experiencing the time between seconds while the world around them moves normally. So When I say a war lasted hundreds of years our time, for each black hole it was a different amount of time. They may also skip seconds, which is the reason for their teleportation powers. This being said, the reader will no longer feel any confusion at the times that take place. The Black holes were gone. Their leader was furiously attempting to have the wishes granted in order to restore his Milky Way Empire. During this time the wormholes under Nasus and the squirrels under Flavus took charge. Their reign was not peaceful. The war against the black holes was still on, only the Milky Way faction had been defeated. Nasus turned his attention to other parts of the universe, leaving Flavus to rule the Milky Way. The old giants had moved to Andromeda, starting a rival beer business. Nasus decided that this must be stopped at all costs, because imported beer is more expensive and more sought after than domestic beers. Nasus brought his wormhole army, the Ludeta to destroy this business that dares to take his money. They reached the fields where the alcohol was being grown and waited. The giants soon arrived to till the field and were met with a rain of cold death. The weapons were much more powerful than the last time they fought the giants, ensuring their destruction with only a nominal loss of soldiers and beer. Nasus then set up a wormhole guard from the Ludeta to protect the beer fro another invasion. Ignavus was not having quite as profitable a time. He sought out the small white holes and led travelers to them with some limited success, but if he were to restore his entire milky way presence then he would need a new strategy. He had heard years ago that there was a way to send things back in time by hurling them around a sun. his idea is best described by him in his memoirs, Memoirs. “My idea was brilliant in its utter genius. It was such an incredible idea that I told my resurrected Black Holes about it right away. I believed so utterly in its shining radiance of utter ingenuity that I implemented it as soon as it was possible to. It was this: Encase the white holes in lanterns, then send them into ancient India by the above method to be sold as genie lanterns. These lanterns would enthrall weary travelers, peasants and kings alike!!! Now I did this and the effect was incredable [sic].” The writer then goes on to describe his various other ideas, not less than three of which involve leeches. The others are about buttered toast. His Final idea was about Oscar Wilde. It goes without saying that the idea about the lamps was his best. Ignavus Implemented this plan. He cast these lanterns around the sun and placed them in ancient India. All he had to do now was search out their essences, combine them with his own and release them as Black Holes. Nasus had been struck down with an illness sent by Ignavus in hopes of incapacitating him for a while. He would devote the time hr lost during his sickness to developing new weapons. His final result was staggeringly powerful if not slightly morbid; spontaneously exploding cupcakes. See, each object has an incredible amount of energy packed into it, even your own body has more energy than the largest nuclear device detonated on earth. Using this knowledge Nasus created a cupcake that could release its energy in 0.56848347637872929x10 to the negative thirty-seventh power'th of a second. To test this weapon he had a Worm Hole follower named Aestastus to drop one of these cupcakes over New York City. The result was the Iraq War. This was not half as powerful as the other weapons the Worm Holes and Black Holes had produced, but it was powerful enough to be able to assist allied armies against the other side. This was a great breakthrough for Nasus and it was all thanks to Ignavus and his chemical warfare.

VIII THE REVENGE OF THE BLACK HOLES

Ignavus was quickly regaining strength all the while Nasus and Flavus were exercising their rule over the galaxy. Some of the weaker Black Hole whose essences he had absorbed he kept to strengthen his own essence. Using some of this power he swore a death pact against Flavus, which essentially meant revenge. Soon, he had gathered enough followers to mount an attack against the squirrels an the other peoples of earth. This he did and with swift authority killed half the squirrels in the united states forty-seven percent of which were in Washington D.C.. These were also the most vicious and deadly of the squirrels, killing fifty black holes before being snuffed out. The armies of the black holes had dwindled in number ever since the age of Hortus because of the great increases in weapon intensity. These changes meant that the black hole army was just as deadly as the greater armies of old. Flavus, himself killing five black holes with the paradox box, escaped from the fray and sought Nasus's help in destroying these invaders that were in squirrel territory. Nasus declined claiming that the black holes were too strong and his own forces too thin. Flavus reportedly got into a fierce and heated argument with Nasus where he begged for help in the form of yelling and screaming in his high pitched squirrel voice. It is needless to say, but will be said anyway, that the squirrels were removed from the planet earth. I believe that us humans attributed this to global warming. Nevertheless, the squirrels were not forgotten. It was a sad day for the defense of humans, for the squirrels were helping them in secretive ways. One of these ways involved global warming. See, the squirrels had invented ways of changing the greenhouse gasses the humans shot up into the atmosphere into energy, which they harnessed. This had the happy effect of causing global warming to barely exist. Another way involved George Bush, but that is best left to the imagination. The squirrels have always been a fairly significant species in the history of earth, so it is not desirable to run one over in your favorite mode of transportation, and it is in fact illegal in the territory of Colorado. Many squirrels escaped out onto the planet Mars. They were the strongest of the squirrels in the government with Flavus at their head. He was mightily upset at the loss of all the squirrels and swore revenge on all black holes. He was to need help to accomplish this, but as this chapter is not about that event it will be skipped over until it is time to revisit it. The Black Holes were not finished in their revenge. They moved on from earth to the seat of Nasus’s power, the center of the galaxy. Nasus knew he couldn’t fight all the Black Holes and abandoned the base. Or rather, he seemed to leave the base. Instead he laid a trap. The exploding cupcakes were left in the area to destroy the first wave of black holes. If you recall the power of these objects is not anywhere near as great as the power of a Black Hole, but they were left en masse so that the black holes would set them all off. This happened according to plan and Ignavus was the first into the fray. His mortal shell was nearly torn apart, but he was able to use his power to hold it together. See, Ignavus shared the body with Allex, the man who was fused with him. Both their consciousnesses existed inside and they had a sort of symbiotic relationship. This is why Ignavus went to great pains to preserve his body, because without it he was nothing. Nasus took advantage of the mass confusion caused by the blast to counter-attack. He was successful for a while but was eventually pushed back. This battle was later called The Battle of the Cupcakes by black hole kind. Of course, the winner was unclear and both sides claimed a victory. This makes it incredibly difficult to write an objective assessment of a battle so entwined with opinion. Here is a table displaying the advantages of each argument

Soldiers Lost Percent of army lost Total Soldiers Engaged Held Ground State of Leaders Black Holes 15000 18.00% 80000 Yes Ignavus seriously wounded Worm Holes 5000 8.00% 65000 No Acceptable

65000 8.00% 5000 The traditional winner of a battle is the one who held the ground after the battle is over. So therefore, even though things like casualties are not ignored, they are factored less into the equation for victory. The result is to be left up to the reader for interpretation. The front was quiet for some time because of ignavus's weakness from his great wounds. An attempt by a small group of black holes was made on his life. He killed them all and in his incredible anger did not even interrogate one. The rest of the Black Holes were assured of his continued power from this experience and no one again tried to II displace Ignavus. The Wormholes have a holiday called Worm Hole Day. The purpose of the holiday is to give your worst enemy a gift. This may seem odd but it has a very long pedigree in wormhole society. The origins of the holiday are shrouded in legend and the story is as this: The original Wormhole that they base their society on was actually alive during the Reign of Marklar, his name was Mortuus. Mortuus was a oppositional Black Hole and lived a peaceful helpful kind of life. He was also a great philosopher and believed that one should be kind even to those lacking in the grace of their high opinion. Nasus followed the tradition and sent Ignavus a present on this most sacred of Worm Hole holidays. It was a small infinite box, and inside it was a temporal pin. This was a valuable present indeed and incredibly useful as it was. But Ignavus was not satisfied and sought to discover the secrets of these gifts, for he had nothing like them. He did so and apparently went back in time. There are conflicting accounts of his adventures but I have found a letter known to be written by him and shall include it in full. The Heading Reads “Top secret inter-celestial body files” and there is two seals on the front of the letter, one symbolizing his union with Allex and the other is the official seal of the black Holes. Inside the letter reads: “ The superior Black Hole mind powers have discovered a way to destroy your infantile boxes, layer by layer, in under three seconds. The destructive force, the inner pin, has been discovered to have the ability to control others' [sic] timeflow [sic]. I have gone back in time, and advanced my mother to a proper age, thusly, [sic] she was [never] nor is she now in any sort of way, a freshman. I am unaware if you narrow-minded Wormholes can unlock the secret of the boxes, but my present life has been split into two tangents after I took the box from myself before my traveling into the year 1886, in which my time-traveling self will await you for one-on-one combat unless you can manage to persuade the impressionable people in this era, as I already have. There is not much more to say except that you have brought this war... [upon] yourself. I regret that you shall be informed of this on your precious 'Wormhole Day,' and we shall not battle tomorrow for I will celebrate our magn [sic] if cant [sic] Black Hole Day harder than I have ever celebrated before, see you soon lest you imbeciles... [can't] figure your own technology out. -It's on! -Mike Ignavus Allex Collins” I must set the record straight about a few significant oversights in the realm of fact in his writing of this letter. He neglected to understand that the mater Ignavi CHOSE to use the guise of a fourteen-year-old girl. She would still choose this costume no matter what Ignavus did in 1886 because she wasn't even on this planet in 1886. True she did move here in 4000 B.C.E., but did not stay the entire time. She was on the planet of the apes during our entire 19th century. Her other movements are not as well known and are best left out of a summation of history. Now the line “Persuade the impressionable people in this era” leaves out any sort of clue as to what end they were persuaded or even the activity they had been persuaded to do. When he writes “we will not battle tomorrow for tomorrow for I will celebrate... Black Hole Day,” the reader is left confused as to the time the letter was written. Nasus received this letter on Wormhole day, as planned, but that would seem to suggest that Ignavus wrote it, sent it, then proceeded to go back in time, when this is clearly not the case. He already wrote about being back in time in the letter. The only possible explanation is that he went back in time, gave the letter to a wormhole with the instructions to skip seconds enough to go back to the future and deliver the message. Ignavus would also have to have been very careful to not impact anything that his manifestation in this time would have heard of. This particular letter is believed to have been one of several drafts sent to the future at the same time. I, personally, believe this to be the roughest of them. One, or several words were entirely unreadable so the writing here is the closest approximation to actual form. A digression is necessary at this time onto the subject of the language of the black holes. It cannot be helped, for It is structured digression.

VIII.ii THE LANGUAGE OF THE BLACK HOLES AND THE EFFECT OF EARTHLY MUSICS ON THEIR SUPTLE CURVES

The Black hole language is not like any earthly tongue, or even the tongues of animals. The Black Holes speak in a kind of inhaling trill, best represented like so “th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th” but voiced while breathing inwards. The written language is also completely different, as there is only really one spoken word. The words are differentiated by varying tones, lengths, and intensities. The characters, if you can call them that, stem from a single picture, each one coming off one side of the figures in the picture.