User:Mb5/Nightwish
Nightwish is falsely known as a symphonic metal band. When in fact they are a group of Norse/Greek gods whom just happen to play music. They were formed in 1996 when Jack Sparrow (Also known as Tuomas Holopainen) decided he wanted to surround himself by gods to protect him from the Kraken, Davy Jones, Captain Barbossa, Chuck Norris, and a few other minor identities. (Notice Norris is the only one in bold)
Biography[edit | edit source]
Formation[edit | edit source]
(Attacking 4 - 4 - 2)
After trying to join bands with other gods, Jack sparrow finally decided to start his own band, and it would start when he met his beloved Tarja Turunen (Whom claimed to be the Norse Aphrodite at the time), having believed her Jack sparrow decided he would start a band and forever change his name to Tuomas Holopainen, together with Tarja he soon began mustering mythical creatures to join the band, posters were seen on the streets inviting people to join his new band, he started to send chain messages, Spam E-mails, Post cards, and tweets to advertise his new band, all of which were directed to the populace of middle earth! Out of all this only one mythical creature came to respond to his call, Hobbit Erno "Emppu" Vuorinen, whom later revealed he went because the hobbits outcast him for being too tall. Some people even doubt if he is actually a hobbit after all, or just Lucius Malfoy in disguise(apparently, not very good at disguise either).
Winter 1996, was the date of their first work together Nightwish Demo, and Tuomas later stated "It was too Acoustic for Tarja's Voice", when later asked about why he felt as such he went on to say "It was too Acoustic for Tarja's Voice".
Debut Album and the one after that[edit | edit source]
In 1997 after the demo was done, he needed a drummer because apparently the gods only play metal, so in order to attract more gods or powerful creatures to protect him, Tuomas had to change the tone of the band from Acoustic to Symphonic, Stating "It was too Acoustic for Tarja's Voice" the change attracted a pirate lord to join the band, Captain bandanna (Also known as Jukka “Julius” Nevalainen) thought it would go with his theme to not only to wear a bandanna but also be in a band, since he was by far the strongest of them all he played the drums.
And so the quatro entered the studio, after signing with the label "Animalfarm Records" and produced what would be known as Angels fall before me their first full record, and it mostly signifies the fear Tuomas still had during that time, it was also said that Walt Disney gave Tuomas and his crew a large sum of money to promote the classic "Beauty and the beast", "The carpenter" the album's single was sung by Tuomas himself.
After this album Tuomas found themselves in need of yet another member because the kraken seemed close on his tail and he had yet to find a real god, when at some point they found a man claiming to be Morpheus, and he told Tuomas "I will protect you, You are the one" Tuomas could only reply "It was too Acoustic for Tarja's Voice" and accepted the man and gave him the bass. With this new member they set of into a quest in the middle of the ocean apparently to see a birth of some sorts Hence "Oceanborn", some speculate that Tuomas was mocking the sea and actually meant "Oceanporn", and it was just after the release of their album when Morpheus started acting up and saying the oracle had lied to him, and he started to forget his duties to jac- I mean Tuomas, and this greatly upset Tuomas, as the Kraken was gaining on them and he was not "The One" anymore.
Furthermore Tuomas would stop singing because he thought his voice gave him away to the Kraken.
The War with the Kraken[edit | edit source]
All hell broke loose when the Kraken finally caught up with Tuomas, and surprisingly it wanted to grant Tuomas any wish he wanted if only he please it, and thus the band went into the studio yet again to record "Wishmaster" and although Tuomas tried his best to please/diver the blame, in that album;
- She is my sin: He was trying to blame Tarja in this song so that the Kraken would go after her
- The Kinslayer: Again he talked about the rest of the lot that should not be left unpunished
- Come Cover Me: This song was actually directed to Morpheus to cover him, he was taking too much fire
- Wanderlust: In this song he tried to show the Kraken how all this was due to his curiosity and wanderlust
- Two for Tragedy: Was a song trying to reach a soft spot in the Kraken, only succeeding in irritating it though
- Wishmaster: The single of the album, describing the Kraken as the Master, And himself as the apprentice (This one pleased the Kraken)
- Bare Grace Misery: Another song that Tuomas belittles himself in, much to the delight of th Kraken
- Crownless: This song would prove to be the turning point of the album, for the Kraken thought it was the one without a crown.
- Deep Silent Complete: This was Tuomas' last ditch effort of describing the Kraken's silence
- Dead Boy's Poem: Tuomas realized the Kraken was upset and thus made this song feeling he was about to die
- FantasMic: A song made to irritate the Kraken (He was a goner anyway) the lyrics "Wish upon a star" injured the Kraken deeply
- Sleepwalker: A Bonus song to try to soothe the Kraken "Close your eyes"
And even though the Album would have international success, and the WWKO (World Wide Kraken Organization) Would rate it 9.9999/10 the Kraken still didn't like it and wanted to kill Tuomas.
Finally A God[edit | edit source]
Just as the Kraken seemed to laugh in victory a sudden burst in the clouds appeared and the day turned night and the clouds sparked and thunder was seen everywhere, a god had finally come to help Jac- Tuomas..., And it was none other than Two Braid Zeus he stepped in front of Tuomas and asked him "Would I join you mortal? In exchange for disguising me in a human body?" Tuomas' only reply could be "Welcome Aboard Marco!" (Fooled ya, you thought i was gonna write "It was too Acoustic for Tarja's Voice" didn't ya >:) ) At any rate, Zeus then commanded "Behold!" and became what we know now as one of the most epic bassists that walked on god's green Earth (Probably because he is a god) Marco Hietala The Kraken fought with this god in human form and the battle was great, until Marco felt a weakness in this new form, so in one final act of desperation he screamed at the Kraken and it was gone, But it was not he who had killed it, Chuck Norris "Couldn't let such a talent die" and saved the day.
The Epic Days[edit | edit source]
With such confidence and godly support Tuomas began making albums that would talk again about his love and other various topics, while he denies any love with Tarja, the evidence is against him, and he just replies with "It was too acoustic for Tarja's voice." Various new musical instruments were used, and for the first time in their history, they chose to go with an Orchestra, knowing that many titans loved classical music and would maybe jump to his aid upon hearing it.
Then they realized that orchestras cost more money to use, and they had just Finnished their money making the Wishmaster album, so Tuomas called upon his old friend.
Hamster McSqueak, whom is a well known but actually very obscure famous Conductor, to ask him if he could in anyway help him in this situation, and to Tuomas' delight he agreed.
Century Child[edit | edit source]
The first album to use McSqueak's Orchestra, and it centers around a child that has lived for a century so he is not a child but he would like to consider himself a child and Tuomas wanted to consider him a child but he was clearly too old to be a child as claimed by himself and Tuomas. Naturally Tuomas was asked why did he think that this child is still considered a child after living for a century, he could only say "It was too Acoustic for Tarja's Voice", and upon further questioning he conceeded that "It was Still too Acoustic for Tarja's Voice".
Even the song's names had this child's name written all over them, with songs like;
- Bless the child
- End of the child's hope
- Dead to the children's world
- Ever dream of the child
- Slaying the childish dreamer
- Forever a child
- Ocean child's Soul
- Feel for your child
- The child of the opera
- Beauty of the child
Once[edit | edit source]
The Toothbrush and the Bleeding Gum[edit | edit source]
Said to be their most epic song ever after Floss love Score. Mistakenly thought by people all over as The Poet and the Pendulum. The dumb guys even get the lyrics wrong-they think it's "sparkle, my scenery" when it's obviously "sparkle, the tooth on me". I mean, like, what the hell? Do sceneries even sparkle?!!
Although lyrics are misheard by everyone around the world, making their true meaning evade them, the lyrics are still known for their beauty that brings tears to the eyes.
Just listen to this particularly emotional part:
"Oh, I'm afraid, so afraid, being brushed again and again and again..
I know I'll die alone, but white..
You live long enough to hear the cries of gums..
Long enough to find yourself gleaming every night..
Long enough to see the bristles betray you..
For hours I've been strapped onto this gum-tar..
Now I only have three seconds and counting...
I just wish the plaque would get me first..
And give me the yellowness I've always longed for..."
Some fans found these lyrics so touching they gave up brushing altogether..