User:MaxRebo120/Lord Caillou
“What a bald headed son of a bitch. ”
Lord Caillou (Last name unknown, though some call him Caillou Boll, considering his mother once married Uwe Boll) (Born 1932) was a bald man. God was he bald. I wonder why? Hmmm.... Oh! Sorry about that! Anyway, many call Caillou a demon. He is also the founder of The Axis of Evil.
Early Life[edit | edit source]
Caillou was born September 11 1932. The name "Caillou" is also the Mars name for Satan or Tim, depending on what regin you live in. He also had quite nice hair. A day after his birth, the doctor who helped nurse him died from a heart attack. Despite being a middle class family, Caillou's parents, Boris and Doris, were quite cheap, as they bought all of their clothes at the Salvation Army. Rumours say that all of the extra money were spent on drugs and pornography. Due to their love of sex, Caillou was granted a sister Rosie in 1934. Because of Caillou's low I.Q score, and loud, squeaky voice, Caillou was a target of bullying in his school. One day, 3 bullies grabbed Caillou by his head, and shaved the word "Crap" in his head. Coming home, Caillou told his mother about the word, and showed her his head. His mother replied, "God Fucking Dammit Caillou! If you ever use that damn word again, I will beat the fucking shit out of your skinny, white ass!!" Doris soon took him to get a haircut, as ever since that day, Caillou was shining bald.
In Love[edit | edit source]
Despite being siblings, Caillou fell in love with his sister. However, young Caillou did not know how to express his love. He felt guilt. He felt hate. After learning the art of death at age four, Caillou decided to kill to express his feelings. He started by shooting some of his stuffed animals, and eventually burnt his cat, Gilbert. Now knowing the concept well, Caillou was ready to strike. But he waited...
Death of Boris[edit | edit source]
In 1939, Caillou's father Boris was found dead. He was on the floor, as a huge knife was stabbed into his forehead. Upset at what happened, Doris began looking for another husband. Nobody knew who his murderer was at the moment, but they would soon...
Founding the Axis of Evil[edit | edit source]
Sadly, very little is known about this point of Caillou's life. All what is known is that by Caillou was 15, his mother married the now infamous Uwe Boll.