User:Matt lobster/UnNews:Rain falls from sky
Bristol, ENGLAND Britain was hit by what can only be described as rain today. The incident occurred after water from oceans and rivers evaporated and condensed into bubbles before precipitating up to the sky where it returned to the air via sun light.
Thousands of people who were going to go out for a "nice stroll and maybe pick up a newspaper" were forced to cancel their plans and remain inside watching news coverage on their television. Latest figures show that over 4000 people are soaked with 132,000 damp in some way. Garages saw hundreds of people returning soft-top cars, with their owners complaining that there had been no mention of the possibility of rain when they were sold them.
American President George Bush immediately offered his support, and pledged to send six million dollars worth of aid to help dry those who got wet. “We stand shoulder to should with our British cousins today after the horrible events that happened to those folks over-there this morning", he commented at a White House press conference, "I now think we have no choice but to gather ourselves, arm ourselves...and invade Iran.”
Professor Richard Likely from Oxford University commented. “Rain is not the harmless and fun phenomenon you see in films such as ‘Singing in the Rain’, in fact it’s quite impractical to sing whilst it is raining. Essentially rain is water falling from the sky, I know it sounds ridiculous, but that’s what happens. It causes mud to moisten and there is a real danger that the bottom of your trousers can become dirty.”
Eye witness Kate Shaw was washing up in her kitchen when she noticed little spots of moisture appearing on her window. “It was a real shock. One drop turned to two and it wasn’t long before I lost count. I had to get a calculator.”
Tony Blair was quick to loosen his collar, roll up his sleaves and put a distant smile on his face. He immediately put an emergency plan into action and ordered that enough tea for twelve million people who were either soaked or badly damp be made. The tea was brewed in a seven giant teapots stored in Kent for just such an occaision.