User:Maddsta/Article about stuff
Florentino Perez[edit | edit source]
1. Career 2. Galactico Era 3. Personal Life 4. Criminal Charges
Florentino 'Release the Hounds' Perez is currently the manager of Real Madrid C.F. As a teenager, he was a drug dealer working for Pablo Escobar in Marseille. His breakthrough came when, doing a delivery round, he came across a group of people playing football on the beach. He decided to watch over their progress. Eventually, by bribery, he was recommended by the Marseille council as a top football manager, and went on to gain a job at Real Madrid.
A young Florentino back in the Marseille cartel days.
Perez wasted most of the club's money on buying useless players and various prats like Cristiano Ronaldo (however, Benzema is improving) to try and win the league after Ramon Calderon was fired for jaywalking. He abruptly decided that all the players Calderon had bought were useless and tried to revamp the club completely, leaving players like Higuaín and Marcelo on the bench despite the fact that the former was the highest scorer.
Florentino Perez has been repudiated by much of the modern world. To combat his loneliness, he purchased three pitbull terriers and used them to terrorise his players and eventually Higuaín when he came to ask for a slight pay rise. This provides the origin for his nickname 'Release the Hounds' (Solta los Perros in Spanish)
Perez has a litany of criminal charges all over the world. He was on probation stemming from a drug charge in 1998, which he violated several times by attempting to buy various weapons. In 2001, he was arrested in Barranquilla, Colombia, for trying to aid the FARC. He bribed his way out of a punishment. In 2002, he was arrested for bribery in Russia, and somehow managed to escape from the secure cell. In the UK, he was accused of trying to rob Northern Rock, a bank. After this charge being dropped due to lack of evidence (and the realisation that it was probably started by Manchester United fans angry at Perez for buying Ronaldo) Perez seemed to be taking a turn for the better. However, in August 2010, Perez committed his most heinous crime yet. Following a brace, in Los Angeles, he was arrested for the assassination of striker Gonzalo Higuaín. Other members of the team revealed that Perez had broken through guards at the hotel golf course and found the 22-year-old sitting on a bench reading the newspaper. Perez took out a gun and marched the striker to the cliff face, before making him sit down and ask if he had any last words. No one knows exactly what he said, but his last sentence may have been along the lines of 'Shoot, coward, for you kill a man.' After ten minutes of deep thought, Perez asked him to face the edge of the cliff, before shooting him three times in the neck, lower back and shoulder. The rest of the team witnessed the incident, and Perez was apprehended shortly afterwards. Higuaín was pronounced dead at the scene, due to a bullet severing his spinal chord, before travelling through to pierce his right aorta. Iker Casillas is due to appear in court along with Garay and Xabi Alonso to give a witness statement. Perez's sentence for murder is not confirmed.