User:MacMania/Missile
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
for the article on the Cuban Missile Crisis.
As such, we thought that you may be interested in learning more about our commitment to the environment. Actually, you probably weren't but we decided to nag you anyhow.
Our engineers and scientists sincerely believe that irresponsible use of nuclear weapons may very easily result in the destruction of the world's natural habitats.
Acme have been an industry leader in researching alternative sources of mass destruction and ways to lessen environmental impact while maximising mutual assured destruction. Our satanic havoc-wreaking methods are the most viable in the market, and we are the biggest supporters of Destroy Local campaigns in all of the G8 nations.
Because of your vote for the article on the Cuban Missile Crisis, we are delivering to you a free Nondum missile—the most environmentally friendly and efficient nuclear missile on the market, with a Hybrid Synergy Warhead, zero carbon footprint, and up to 80 cities destroyed per warhead. (Launchpad and batteries not included.)
Your missile should be arriving shortly; unfortunately, it seems we forgot to disable the complimentary nuclear warhead, so good luck surviving the nuclear blast.
Acme Nuclear Weapons:
Together, we can create a better post-apocalyptic wasteland.