User:LukeFord420/Imperial units
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"It’s horrible." ~ Captain Obvious on imperial measurements
"How the hell is it possible to make a measurement based on the average volume of a mouthful of some random test subjects?" ~ Europeans
"W-No. Please, why? No. Just don’t. Stop. Please. Stop. But fucking stop. Holy shit, why? How?" ~ You when learning about imperial measurements
Imperial units are a system of units to measure length, depth, area, mass, weight and volume, but in a sadomasochistic quirky, interesting way. The imperial system of units was officially put to use by the British in 1824, when King George, son of King George, decided to do nothing. Instead, the Parliament decided to get rid of any medieval wine, ale and corn gallons and make there be only one type of imperial gallon. Imperial measurements are unpopular because of their slight complexity, but this is because they have actually transcended above human intelligence, rendering them incomprehensible to any human that uses it. This is why the British abandoned it and decided to follow France which was also making new measurements, mainly because a king died from wealth and a random person decided to form a cult in which every aristocrat’s head was mechanically chopped off.
Length[edit | edit source]
With only one dimension, this is one of the simplest set of measurements. This will start off with the most common measurements and work towards less common measurements before finishing on obsolete measurements, which are measurements that no one cares about anymore.
Common measurements[edit | edit source]
Inch[edit | edit source]
This is one of the most common imperial measurements. It was defined by King Edward as "three grains of barley, dry and round, placed end to end lengthwise", a very intuitive and much-needed measurement. The inch has also been defined as the length of 12 poppyseeds lined up. In 1959, however, the length of the inch was settled on as exactly 2.54 centimetres.
Less common measurements[edit | edit source]
The measurements that no one cares about[edit | edit source]