User:L0neWolf

Origins of the L0neWolf

Up until recent studies, this creature was thought to be a joke, a hoax, bedtime stories, or tales to be told between queer folk sitting around a campfire.

Ancient folklore, dating from way back when, often tells the story of this 'Believed Myth' as prehaps one of the few incredible accounts of sheer mystery. Due to this fact, to pinpoint the exact origin of this fabled creature would be as undescribably useless as trying to find a piece of hay, in a bundle of several thousand needles....... heroin needles.

Bayanov, Dmitri, and Igor Bourtsev's The Mysterious Biped. Science and Religion, No. 6:39 (book released in 1972) tries to unravel this myth and states "волк реален! мы нашли это, и это не любит быть нарушен, мы выпустили это на мир, мы все собираемся умирать!" this was writtin in the language of the MooMin. simply relates to, "we are complete douchebags, and spent 3 years analysing a featus we found under a bush, shaped like a pyrimid, only to discover it was a produced by a rather intelligent polar bear."

the only other recording of this animal was recorded by a researcher for an american high school paper, who had an extrmely boring name, so, as time did-not infact tell, she didnt hit fame. she recorded what she believed at the time, to be the life story of an indian-american man of tradition, but later discovered he was off his face on magic mushrooms and thought he was telling her the story of how he captured a talking spoonful of jelly. turns out he took offense after she told him its not what she was looking for.

her body was never found

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Recent Discoveries

The L0neWolf was found by an Englishman, who was rejected from the FLA (folklore association) as they believed him to have somewhat of an over-active imagination. and was disturbed by his somewhat relectuncy to keep his bizarre fetishes to himself. as part of his protest, this englishman attemtpted to assasinate each member of the association by trying to make them choke on thier own feaces.. needless to say this plan didnt work out as expected, at all. he was then assassinated himself by a man called Desmond, stupid git thought he was a templar.

The wolf was believed to be hibernating inside the Englishmans computer, keeping itself alive by feeding upon perverted pixels and entertain itself by recycling the recyle bin. It then fled into the Wide World Web, an now resides there to this day.

The Wolf is every online-communities shadow stalker. it is suggested by a mathmetician that evey social network site is being secretly controlled by the wolf. a simple user search of either of the follwoing will prove this theory correct: L0neWolf LoneWolf

an interview with an annonymous user of a site known as DILF.com mentioned briefly: "as we were speaking, i felt as if i was being drained". so this has led to but a single conclusion, this wolf is sucking the personality out of every user on every social network site known to man, and is creating itself a unique, perfect, drool-worthy personality.

Powers of the wolf

throughout time, none-time, anti-time and super-time, the L0neWolf has been worshipped as a God of enrichments. This is a list of powers the L0neWolf has granted: The ability to:

1. swap peoples writing hands without them knowing.

-1. swim backwards

34. carry air.

091. end the never ending damn DFS sale

%2/ spontaneously combust

?? spontaneously implode

00 walk on water, cure diseases, heal the blind, and turn water into wine

Y4 copy and paste

1. make the countdown clock tick for 60 seconds..... like its supposed to

13. actually enjoy smart-price food

What You Should do if You Encounter the L0neWolf

its believed that the simple (exclusion from the fight/flight process) that simply playing dead will elude the wolf into believing you are no longer worth its time. it will then only suck out your brain,...through your nostrils. as opposed to killing you slowly.

another idea was that if you cover yourself in shit, then the wolf will not smell you. WRONG. in actual fact, the wolf is heavily attracted to this smell and will probably rape you instead.

if you indeed encounter this wolf, you should put your head between your legs, (not to do the thing you have probably tried to do before), pray to be forgiven for all your sins. and give up.