User:Kujat/Maria Graefin Doenhoff

“Maria Graefin Doenhoff? Isn't Maria Graefin Doenhoff already dead? But I have all of Maria Graefin Doenhoff's records.”

~ Harald Kujat on Maria Graefin Doenhoff

Geisenheim Files

MGD in Fall 2005 answering Questions to Mainhardt Graf von Nayhauss for his column Hades confidential.

Maria Graefin Doenhoff

Height: 6 feet under Occupation: Deceased Catchphrase: '"Angenehm, Doenhoff." Geisenheim: Saw G. on a train timetable once Hitlerism: Shook Hitler's hand but didn't like it (34%) Favorite Dish: Helmut Schmidt Hobbies: Haunting Germany (Zeitgeist)

Maria Graefin Doenhoff was an old hag, but unfortunately she's dead now. A description that reflects the personality of MGD in a very personal manner can be found in the biography of Mainhardt Graf von Nayhauss:"Maria Graefin Doenhoff was a, how can I say..., old woman. Then, further on, she got even older. And after that even more. Then she didn't get older anymore.

Facts & Stats

• Penthouse Pet of the month (September 1900)
• Posed for the premiere issue of Der Stürmer
• Maria is the second grandson of David hasselhof

Trivia

Maria Graefin Doenhoff on the 1st issue of J. Streichers Stuermer.

• Has Italian, Yugoslavian, French, German, Irish and American Indian ancestry.
• Measurements: 34D-25-35 (Source: Celebrity Sleuth magazine)
• At sixteen she began dating a guy for five years, she married him at twenty-one and divorced him five weeks later.

Important Quotes

As some experts meant to identify subtle antisemitic tendencies in the paper, it is not "en vouge" to read the Stuermer in today's Germany.

• “Ich liebte die Passion mit der Mainhardt Graf von Nayhauss sich über meine Ostpreussen-Erinnerungen hermachte, leider bin ich jetzt tot.”

• “Das haben ja dann alles die Russen kassiert.”

• “Angenehm, Doenhoff.”

• “Einmal mit alles und Knoblauchsoße?.”

• “In high school I was an ugly duckling. I had big breasts, an exotic voluptuous look. and was so pathetically shy I had hardly any friends.”

• “Finding clothes that would fit me was a real problem, too. Dresses that fitted my breasts hung on the rest of me like an empty sack. My tits burst out of dresses that fitted my waist. At least I didn't have the problem of finding a prom dress -- no one asked me!”

• “Wo ist der Mainhardt?!”