User:Kippy/Candlejack

That time I was nearly slaughtered by Jason during my sojourn to Camp Crystal Lake

*chh chh chh, ahh ahh ahh, chh chh chh*

Seriously, dude. Fuck that murderous, maniac, retard, undead hockey masked freak.

So there we were

camping out at Camp Crystal Lake, doing our crazy-ass weekend thing, getting drunk, smoking weed, making out, right? You know, typical wild teenager shit.

When my best friend

and his girlfriend decide to have nasty sex in the tent. I said, "Sure, okay. I'll go smoke or masturbate or some shit."

A few minutes later

I heard screaming. Zipping up, I ran back to the tent and saw my best friend his girlfriend cut into pieces, like a fucking naked suishi.

I looked around in panic and saw Jason Voorhees standing a few yards away! I screamed in horror, "HOLY SHITBALLS! HE'S REAL!" Then he made a Jasonline straight for me.

So I pulled out my

gun and started shooting the son of a bitch, but the bullets had no effect. WTF?

So I ran and ran, but I got tired really fucking quick. I looked back and noticed Jason was right on my ass. In desparation, I yelled out, "SAVE ME CANDLEJACK!!"

But that's a story for another time.

In the end, I barely got away with a severed brachi