User:Kingkitty/Welcome

EXCUSE ME, WTF R U DOIN?

Kingkitty/Welcome why are you here? You think this is some kind of joke? Are you plotting against me? Are you? Did you even give a damn to read the secret jellybean guide at all? You freaking disgust me.

• Are you new? You are? Are you sure? Are you sure? Don't look at me like that. Hell don't look at me at all.
• Your mind is the portal. I have no key to open it. There isn't time to fish for it. You are not who you think you are. If you do not read this and fail at being what you are suppose to be, I will find you and do absolutely nothing.

You need these to control the spice. You don't understand my injokes? I don't either. Also read below:

• Uncyclopedia? Is that some kind of toast? and The 5 reasons Uncyclopedia is the spice.
• How to retain the spice and not look like a clinja.
• The question machine needs eggs. Please give it eggs to continue.
• WTF IS GOING ON - I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON. THIS WASN'T SUPPOSE TO HAPPEN.

I hope you fail! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, don't talk to me because I don't know wtf is going on, just ask at the Land of Spice, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and laugh at you if they can. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring creepy editors straight to you. Browse our list of available mentors, and leave them a message on their talk page.

Control the spice.