User:Kingkitty/Toothpicks
Toothpicks are great!
The Leading Edge Of Teeth Cleaning Technology[edit | edit source]
Toothpicks are mans best friend. Their slim, agile shape gives them a leading edge over primitive toothbrushes. The toothpicks carefully insert themselves into the tight spaces of the human mouth to rid harmful trash, which if piled up long enough, will form treacherous gingivitis. This long standing technique proved successful as billions of toothpicks are purchased and used each day.
Floss not so much..
A Step Backwards In Teeth Cleaning Technology[edit | edit source]
Almost like wild fire dozens of companies started to notice the toothpicks unrelenting popularity and profitably. Their mindset was of course to take part in the industry of teeth cleaning by making a cheap dismal product to cheat the consumer and actively compete with toothpicks. Their creation was floss. This useless device is painted entirely in green to give off the illusion that it's full of minty goodness and therefore good for your teeth. In actuality it's secretly ridden with harmful chemicals that blatantly infect your teeth with Aids and Cancer.
Woah Hold Up Mister, Why Would They Want To Harm My Teeth?! I'm Pretty Sure They're Not Terrorists![edit | edit source]
Oh how ignorant the average consumer is. These greedy companies live and feed off your decaying teeth. To them dirty teeth equals profit and that an increase of dirty teeth equals more profit. Having the whole world infected equals a golden yacht. None of these terrorist like tactics surprise me, have you forgotten "All I want for Christmas is a PSP"?