User:Justincredible/Companion cube
“This Weighted Companion Cube will never threaten to stab you, and in fact cannot speak.”
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Overview[edit | edit source]
A companion cube is a device used in the game called "Portal". This device is used to enhance the pleasure of anal sex, and is very effective at its job. The hole in the back of it is where you insert the penis (22 inches is the minimum requirement for pleasure). It can also be used for molesting little girls, it seem to attract them into the open to be raped as much as you please.
The companion cube has been inserted into many many different television series including Pokemon, where it is by far the best Pokemon. It's best move is anal rape which uses 12 condom energy cards. Although you can avoid needing the condom energy cards, this makes you receive AIDs if you do it to any black-type Pokemon.
Habitat[edit | edit source]
Companion cubes can generally be found in random bat caves around the world. There they protect you from crime and rape unsuspecting children who are looking for the time but find much, MUCH more. Also they tend to lurk in many places including but certainly not limited to: sewers, under your bed, in your closet, at the circus, in my pants, in your pants, in her pants, in your pants's pants, under your pillow, in your medicine bottle, in the toilet, under the sink, at the abortion clinic, Canada, Cuba, the World of Warcraft, Pokemon (gold, yellow, blue, silver, yellow, pink, shit, and electric green), the girl next door's house, the girl next door to the girl next door's house, Bob Saget's stomach, Bob Saget's urethra, yo momma's vagina, Windows Vista, the common cold, Welfare, low income housing, niggers' asses, a lonely woman's vagina and/or ass, the interweb.
Sexual Assault[edit | edit source]
The companion cubes most fun way to pass time is to lure woman into its lair and rape them for as long as they stay conscious. They have competitions with each other by trying to see who can find the most woman and rape them the longest with out them passing out. Sometimes, the rape can go on for days and weeks without end. Companion cubes have immeasurable amounts of stamina and can rape in even the harshest conditions without rest for unbelievable amounts of time; as documented by the Discovery Channel.
