User:JohnnyFett
The Jee Man Himself has Shown, in His infinite Wisdom, that He is the Ultimate Purveyor of all things Awesome, Nifty, Spiffy, and generally Interesting. He has personally Reviewed this page and Given His Blessing. The submitter may be Forgiven three venial sins or one mortal sin.
"JohnnyFett" is considered to be a sacred word by the followers of the Christian faith. In order to prevent excessive bitching and the invasion of other countries, please do not speak it in front of them.
“He's a good man. He's been taking care of Kit. And even I feel cool around him!”
“Oh my God, hasn't he gotten over me yet?”
“Well, he never knows when to quit...good for him!”
“He's got a lot of great qualities and he's a phenomenal writer...I don't know why Physics whats-her-name doesn't get how great he is!”
“Yeah, I met that dude once. Knows how to party I tell you what...WOOOO!!!!”
Johnny Fett comes from a long line of successful Bounty Hunters; however, his calling was always to do something in the entertainment world ( like all American children). While this kind of reasoning can be dangerous, ( as my Porn-set fluffer cousin will tell you). Commonly found wearing his hereditary helmet which he refuses to remove, he is well known amongst his friends for the ability to run up to people, make small talk with them, and leave.
A former writer for the now defunct Vampire Hunter Monthly, he now spends his days battling the Horde in WoW. He is also searching non-feverishly for a low-paying job in a very boring industry.
His friends often complain of his incessant, mopey bitching about how much he misses a mystery woman known only as "That Chick He Sat Next To In Physics". However, he once killed a grue with little more than his Zapper, and he also possesses the secret of the ultimate insult, handed down to him by master Guybrush Threepwood. With so much (apparently) going for him, it's questionable why he was never able to win over "That Chick He Sat Next To In Physics". It's commonly referenced that he's a major nerd, typing articles on Uncyclopedia, playing WoW. That and she probably thinks he's creepy.
He was also a crucial defender at the Battle of MySpace on Dantooine, fighting alongside heroes such as Cloud Strife and Commander Keen. Although they lost the battle, what matters is that they also lost the war, branding them losers to women everywhere- except for Cloud and Keen. He is also a champion of Net Neutrality as well as a supporter of his old friend Jesus. Trust me, they go way back. " Heck, we had a band back in high school."
His heroes include Bruce Campbell and Mr. Wizard.
Prepare to be stabbed, in the face!