User:Ironfist/Uncontroversially Evil
Uncontroversially evil is a term used to describe those who are uncontroversially evil. To be uncontroversially evil, there must not be a dispute of whether or not someone or something is evil. However, there are some that believe the term uncontroversially evil is subjective. It most certainly isn't.
Traits of People who are Uncontroversially Evil[edit | edit source]
There are several things that can make someone Uncontroversially Evil. One thing that most certainly makes someone Uncontroversially Evil is if they "left a pooty." It is sick bastards like that who make it unbearable to be in a confined space such as an elevator or a tantan.
Another trait of uncontroversially evil people is their hatred of babies.
History[edit | edit source]
The Beginning[edit | edit source]
Throughout history, there have been evil people and things. The first act of evilness was by the universe's most notable terrorist, The Universe. The Universe was once a simple singularity of infinitesimal size and infinite mass much like any other singularity. However, The Universe was slightly unstable and was put on some trippy, cosmic anti-depressant. Things seemed like they would be fine for the young singularity until things went awry one fateful day. A day when The Universe had neglected to take it's meds.
The Universe was at the playground just swinging (something all singularities like to do) when a group of anti-matter singularities came and started beating the crap out of The Universe. The anti-matter started mocking The Universe, saying, "You're infinite in mass! That means you're just another fatty!", along with the occasional jab at The Universe's mom. The ridicule continued until The Universe became fed up and blew itself up. In a fraction of a fraction of a second, all the anti-matter was destroyed. Even the swings were consumed in The Universe's fiery and expanding rage.
Even today, The Universe has yet to calm the fuck down; it's rage still expanding and even erupting in itself in the form of supernova explosions and the like.
This is all very true and should be shared with any member of the academia world you ever encounter. Even the part that all singularities play on swings. In fact, you should start off all discussions regarding the creation of The Universe with that factoid. You'll impress everyone. Your mom will be so proud.
More history shit[edit | edit source]
However[edit | edit source]
None of that matters. All of the previous examples can be said to be good, even the manic-depressant Universe.
These are the people who are actually are uncontroversially evil.
Mohandas Gandhi[edit | edit source]
While many saw Gandhi as the leader of the independence movement in India, he also had an active hobby in punching babies.
Much of this can be supported by many of his early college reports on the ethics of punching babies titled "I Like Punching Babies." In it he details his joy for punching babies, describing the action as "really fun" and that "every person should try it."
This is legitimately true information and noway whatsoever fabricated.
He also farted in little baby food jars.
Martin Luther King Jr.[edit | edit source]
Undoubtedly the face of the civil rights movement in the 1960s, Martin Luther King also enjoyed eating babies. I kid you not.
Before his untimely demise, Martin Luther had a box full of rough drafts for his cooking book, 'The Joy of Cooking Babies'. Within it are several chapters on how to capture a baby, fillet it, and properly keep the meat fresh. The cookbook ranged from all sorts of infant related meals, including 'Baby Soup', 'Omelette du Baby', and 'Baby Back Ribs'.
This is absolutely true.
Anne Frank[edit | edit source]
The dead Jew who posthumously had her diary published to the masses, also had a second unpublished diary named "101 Dead Baby Jokes".
An example of some of her jokes:
- How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.
- What do you call a dead baby with no legs? Something I can fart on!
- What is better than a dead baby? Ten of them! ALL MOLESTED!
Yep, none of this is at all made up.
Conclusion[edit | edit source]
Acts of terrorism, forcing communism on China, and even teen-aged mutant ninja turtles posing as Renaissance artists are not uncontroversially evil. Only people who hate babies and farting in confined spaces are uncontroversially evil.