User:Idunbin
== Noble Beginnings ==
During the first four years of David's life in America, he was under extreme turmoil. During the 1994 dustbowl, the secluded village of Signal Mountain was unfortunately placed under the jurisdiction of the Peace Corps. Nobody wants to have to rely on the Peace Corps, I swear.
Despite this minor setback, David Inman began hard at work working away on a project that would soon awe and astound the likes of the entire global population. His project was aptly entitled "Project Year 2000". The intent of this project was to allow the world (see earth*1) to enter its second recorded thousand-year-period since the fabled Zero Year. The project consisted of thousands of hours of logging and mathematics for Inman to calculate the exact time that the new decacentury would take place, as well as hundreds of hours spent studying space time fabric using a telescope in an alterations shop. After 12 years of world, Inman was finally able to pinpoint, to the hectasecond, when the new age would take place. On March 15th, 1998, the new century was scheduled to take place at approximately 12:00 post-menstrual time on January 1st, ironically, of the year 2000.
This breathtaking discovery was only but the second of Inman's extraordinary featcies. The first of which took place amid the chaos and mayhem of the second World War.
'THE SECOND GREAT WAR'[edit | edit source]
When David Inman applied to the Marines in 1942 at the tender age of 16, he was 5'5" and weighed 110 pounds. They laughed in his face. So he applied to the Air Force, and they also laughed in his face. Then he applied for the Army, and they figured they could always use another grunt to absorb gunfire, so they let him in. He wasn't particularly good at it, and they actually tried to get him transferred to be a cook after he passed out halfway through training. He insisted that he wanted to fight though, so they sent him into the maelstrom.
During the invasion of Italy he was promoted to corporal for his awesome-ass shooting skills, and at the same time contracted malaria, which he had for almost the entire war. Try to remember that.
He was sent into southern France in 1944. He encountered a German machine gun crew who pretended they were surrendering, then shot his best buddy. Inman completely hulked out, killed everyone in the gun nest, then used their weaponry to kill every baddie in a 100-yard radius, including two more machine gun nests and a bunch of snipers. They gave him a Distiguished Service Cross, and made him platoon commander while everyone apologized profusely for calling him "Shorty."
About half a year later, his company was given the job of defending the Colmar Pocket, a critical region in France, even though all they had left was 19 guys (out of the original 128) and a couple of M-10 Tank Destroyers.
The Germans showed up with a shitload of guys and half a dozen tanks. Since reinforcements weren't coming for a while, Inman and his men hid in a trench and sent the M-10s to go do the heavy lifting. They got ripped to shreds.
Then, this five-and-a-half-foot-tall kid with malaria ran up to one of the crippled M-10s, hopped in behind the .50 cal machine gun, and started killing everything in sight. Understand that the M-10 was on fire, had a full tank of gas and was basically a death-trap.
He kept going for almost an hour until he was out of bullets, then walked back to his bewildered men as the M-10 exploded in the background Mad Max style. They gave him literally every medal they could (33 in all, although he had doubles of a few, plus five from France and one from Belgium), including the Medal of Honor.
After the war, he came down with Shell-Shock, and was prescribed the antidepressant placidyl. When he became addicted to the drug, rather than enter a program like some kind of sissy, he went cold-turkey, locked himself in a motel room for a week and got over it.
When some Hollywood producer wanted to make a movie based on Inman's war stories, he was determined to have Inman play himself in the film. Inman was afraid people would see the complete insane awesomeness the story had to offer, and think he was embellishing or trying to cash in on his fame, so he actually had them take parts out for fear that they wouldn't be believable to a Hollywood audience. Seriously.
Nevertheless, from that point forward, around the world, aristocrats of all demographics honored Inman for his battlefield Badassery, only to be sure that this boy would soon become one of the greatest heroes the world had ever seen.
== Inman Today ==
David Inman currently resides on Signal Mountain, Tennessee. Born to parents Robert Allan Inman and Glenna Randolph Inman, David has not only overcome the impossible, but redefined the possible as what used to be known as 'the impossible'. David currently attends Chattanooga High School for the Arts and Sciences, and it tutored primarily by historian Brian Wright. David's relationship status is no longer single, as he has come upon A GOLDMINE OF A WOMAN, JESSE NANCE, LOLOLOL, YEAH!
Look HER up. I dare ya!
The titular hero of this Knol has yet to finish his life journey. Updates on their way!
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